Roll Call 143

I got some desktop notification from Facebook about some lady. This was strange because it's not easy for people to find me on Facebook, and my Facebook posts are sexual. I had quit Facebook about a week or so ago, because it was hard to find people like me and to communicate with those people.

I spent a good few minutes looking over her Facebook page, wondering how she found me. Her posts were from last year, so she probably wasn't even online today. then I re-checked my Facebook notifications.

that's when I read that she was being RECOMMENDED for a friend request. she didn't friend-request me. I was furious. Facebook recommends that I send friend requests to people I know, and not complete strangers. why would facebook recommend that complete stranger to me, knowing that its programmed to censor or time-out me from that website for sending unwanted friend requests? It's like facebook was setting me up for trouble.

It's not a safe community for me. I thought I had found someone who accepted me, being mentally ill and all. but eh, I'm not too frustrated. Instead, I just deactivated my Facebook account. I shouldn't be getting any issues like that anymore.

I'm not doing well at all. Starting to get SI's a lot lately.

Oh no @DT. I’m so sorry to hear that.
I hope things look up soon for you.

Do you think it’s your med combo?

No I don't think it's the meds. I mean, how could it be? I'm sleeping regularly, sleep was my only issue and the Seroquel is helping with that, and my Geodon has always stopped the paranoia, the only reason I doubled that is to help me sleep. I wish i was as strong as my sister.

I have lawyers calling my cell for my sister.
I haven’t spoken to her in 6 years.
I also have a different phone number than I did back then.
I just cannot shake her trail of destruction.

sometimes the meds cause si type thoughts on their own...this is especially true of ADs like ssris but there have been a few studies suggesting Seroquel can do this too even though it’s primarily an AP.

I actually watched a movie from beginning to end. I have such a hard time focusing lately but I'm trying to work on it. I've been in a perpetual state of indecision (I just mean hobbies like reading and whatnot) because my focus is so bad

Good morning

morning bluebird. how are you?

Morning,

I’ve had some pretty disturbing dreams the past two nights. Involving harm to me or my parents. Wonder what the reason is...

i see my therapist today and hope she can do something about this. maybe call my psych doc and get on different medications. I ended up in the emergency room the night before my birthday due to medication causing some uncomfortable side effects. luckily benadryl was all i needed and sent me on my way. I have lots to say to my therapist today. hope she doesn't send me to the psych hospital.

dreams literally mean nothing. just the sub conscience screwing with you.

Good luck! I hope she can help

welp thanks to a gay forum i frequent i have never ending access to gay porn

I'm doing well heading over to the college soon since I have classes today.

I hope that your doctor is able to help you with the meds

my package shipped today. took forever. somebody (i hope not my mom) stole my first package. but this time, i'll have a live camera to record when the delivery guy comes.

it's a sad day when a dude like me has to be wary of his roommates. but eh, if i were in a homeless shelter, things would be pretty much the same; save for the fact that i wouln't have to religiously respect any woman. one of the only reasons i continue living here though is because, if i leave here, mom would be more tempted to rent out my room and I might not be able to return. I can live here for free too.

If you have a problem respecting women you might want to realize the majority of people posting here are women....

Waiting for class to start

Morning. Happy Thursday...almost there!
I’ve finished working for the morning. Hoping to have some to do later this afternoon.
I am bringing my son for his eye appt and contact fitting today. I’m so proud...I’m paying for it with my own earned money!
My husband was “bragging” to my fil about me . Telling him how I’ve earned the money for both kids braces, contacts for both, vacation, 1/2 of Christmas, BTS shopping etc. I hadn’t until that point realized how much I’ve been able to contribute to the expensive things.
Which leads me to my how grateful I am for this crazy job that gives me this opportunity. I started working for him 3 years ago. I started making like $100/month working a few hrs a week. Now I make between $1000 and $1500/month depending on the season. Not bad for a few hours/day in my jammies.
Last year I had a deadline set to quit. I’ve kinda changed my mind. I’ve actually been enjoying it. It gives me some structure to my day, keeps my mind occupied, and gives me money for my bad habit .
Of course I’ve yet to hit an established goal *sigh*. I have the best of intentions but something more important always comes up.
Right now I’m paying for eyes, next month both dogs and the cat are due to the vet, then I have to license them, then it’ll be time to save for vacation.
Oh well...at least I have the $ to do it instead of relying on my husband.
He is 100% against the kids getting contacts and was also 100% against my sons braces (he didn’t really need them). But since it’s *my* money I didn’t even have to plead my case lol.

"If you have a problem respecting women you might want to realize the majority of people posting here are women...."

I was speaking of my mom. The difference, between being in a homeless shelter and living with mom, is the fact that i have to honor my mom under my religion. that means she could technically abuse me and I can't religiously do anything about it. for instance; if she had stole my package, I couldn't do much about it.

but I got my package. yay! and next time, I'm just going to have my packages go to an Amazon locker rather than home. it's a sad day when a man can't safely have packages delivered home, but eh. a homeless shelter is seeming less and less bad, by the year.

Good morning. In class. 20 minutes until it starts. Bought an energy drink because the Concerta didn't overpower the Seroquel.

Morning

Took my meds and had coffee

Hey,

I’m just watching The West Wing. I’m on the last episode of season 3... the discs skip a little which can be annoying but it’s such a great show.

Just got stuff at the college food pantry. Will definitely be helpful. Got an hour and a half till my next class