[Erti]

enjoy ya'll

[Under*Over]

I hope I dont feel suicidal tonight. It hits in waves and its hard to fight.
Right now I feel alright though. Keep getting into fights with people though, which tends to happen sometimes when Ivd been dealing with a low mood too long, so better I guess is kinda subjective

[Sometimes psychotic]

Thanks Erti 😀

[SlumberKitty]

Thanks for the new roll call @Erti

[newtus]

Thanks my dude!!!!!

[Erti]

no problem brah

[falcon09]

Thanks Erti!

I think I'm gonna discharge from my partial hospital program soon. Kinda excited and kinda dreading it

[Erti]

i did the partial hospitalization program at Columbus spring east. they gave me a coin and the people tell me what they liked about me. Mostly said i made them laugh. It was nice but i didn't appreciate them calling me 5 am to ask if i need a ride.

[newtus]

I think bf and i are gonna go work out tonight

[Desoxyn]

Feeling the anhedonia today and yesterday

[Loial]

Thanks Erti!

[Blue_Bird]

My cats went nuts when I came home today. Especially Kitten, she's been glued to me all evening lol

[falcon09]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

My cats went nuts when I came home today. Especially Kitten, she's been glued to me all evening lol

Aww, I wish my landlord allowed pets, I miss my cats

[newtus]

I just got into an argument with my mom.

Im so fcking devastated.

At first, she didnt wanna talk about marriage cuz she said common law is touchy subject for her. Cuz her and my dad had that and she hates him.

Then, she said “if u marry (the bf) youll be on food stamps and welfare. Can u live with that?”

THEN! She said we are immature about everything cuz we dont have a plan (when we do). Ive tried explaining it to her but BACK to square one, she didnt want to talk about marriage!

Everything just kept going down him. Til i said “im getting off the phone because i dont want to be belittled. And she yelled “WELL ITS TRUE!”.

I told her i was getting off the phone. And shes like “well dont talk to me about engagement or marriage anymore”. I took that as she doesn’t give a fck.

So yea.

[falcon09]

took my meds

[ofthevalley]

Thanks @Erti
@newtus I think a nice ceremony is a great idea.
I am all about love buuuuut that **** don’t pay the bills. You can be committed without giving up MORE than HALF of your combined income. Sometimes you have to look at the practical side. You have to survive.
Once you’ve gotten a job that can support you you can get married.

[ofthevalley]

Originally Posted by newtus

I just got into an argument with my mom.

Im so fcking devastated.

At first, she didnt wanna talk about marriage cuz she said common law is touchy subject for her. Cuz her and my dad had that and she hates him.

Then, she said “if u marry (the bf) youll be on food stamps and welfare. Can u live with that?”

THEN! She said we are immature about everything cuz we dont have a plan (when we do). Ive tried explaining it to her but BACK to square one, she didnt want to talk about marriage!

Everything just kept going down him. Til i said “im getting off the phone because i dont want to be belittled. And she yelled “WELL ITS TRUE!”.

I told her i was getting off the phone. And shes like “well dont talk to me about engagement or marriage anymore”. I took that as she doesn’t give a fck.

So yea.

Sorry Newt. Please note I made my post BEFORE I saw this.

I think it’s hard as a mom to watch your child following an uncertain path.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

Sorry Newt. Please note I made my post BEFORE I saw this.

I think it’s hard as a mom to watch your child following an uncertain path.

I just dont get it. Like im bawling.

I just wish i knew what to do. I mean i do. I have a job. But im only doing it casually. To keep my hours low and pay low.

I mean. You know, i look to my parents to comfort me. Not to shame me. I always get into fights with my mom. Idk why the fck i keep going back to her. Its bullshyt.

[ofthevalley]

Originally Posted by newtus

I just dont get it. Like im bawling.

I just wish i knew what to do. I mean i do. I have a job. But im only doing it casually. To keep my hours low and pay low.

I mean. You know, i look to my parents to comfort me. Not to shame me. I always get into fights with my mom. Idk why the fck i keep going back to her. Its bullshyt.

I think it’s called “tough love”.
She may be difficult but she clearly loves you. You are considering a path that could be detrimental to your well being. No mother wants that for her child.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by ofthevalley

I think it’s called “tough love”.
She may be difficult but she clearly loves you. You are considering a path that could be detrimental to your well being. No mother wants that for her child.

WHat path?

Because first she says, if i marry him ill be poverty.

But then she says if i live with him, ill be married by common law.

Everything is just bs. Im tired of it. Im just SICK of being belittled and treated like im second class and stupid. Everything is about money with her. Everything. Everyday its about money or how i have none or how im fat. Fck off ya know.

I dont think thats tough love if im getting called names!

Bf said not to call her for awhile.

[Sometimes psychotic]

I think Newtus the things you associate with marriage are not the things that married people and especially divorced people associate with marriage and having been through it they are trying to warn you that the reality does not typically match the fantasy.

I think the fact that you’re considering a unity ceremony without an actual marriage at first should placate them. Worry about marriage once you no longer need to rely on parents or ssdi for money. It will happen.

[newtus]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I think Newtus the things you associate with marriage are not the things that married people and especially divorced people associate with marriage and having been through it they are trying to warn you that the reality does not typically match the fantasy.


I think the fact that you’re considering a unity ceremony without an actual marriage at first should placate them. Worry about marriage once you no longer need to rely on parents or ssdi for money. It will happen.

Thats what i was thinking too. All that was what i was thinking.

[ofthevalley]

Originally Posted by newtus

WHat path?

Because first she says, if i marry him ill be poverty.

But then she says if i live with him, ill be married by common law.

Everything is just bs. Im tired of it. Im just SICK of being belittled and treated like im second class and stupid. Everything is about money with her. Everything. Everyday its about money or how i have none or how im fat. Fck off ya know.

I dont think thats tough love if im getting called names!

Bf said not to call her for awhile.

Calling names is one thing. That’s never acceptable.
Being concerned for your future. Understandable.

Don’t call her. I wouldn’t put up with the name calling.

[newtus]

I just had a breakdown on the phone with the bf.

I told him straight up about my mom and something i just realized.

All the fckin voices i hear when i got sick were my
Moms. My mom called me a fat pig once and all i heard for a year or two was voices telling me i was a fat pig loser. I cut my mom off for 3 years after high school. Best thing i ever did. Yea i was a little sad. But i was very sick, and i was afraid of her.

[Findingreason]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I think Newtus the things you associate with marriage are not the things that married people and especially divorced people associate with marriage and having been through it they are trying to warn you that the reality does not typically match the fantasy.

I think the fact that you’re considering a unity ceremony without an actual marriage at first should placate them. Worry about marriage once you no longer need to rely on parents or ssdi for money. It will happen.

Originally Posted by newtus

Thats what i was thinking too. All that was what i was thinking.

I agree with what SP said. I've been married to my wife for almost 3 years now. It's not really a big deal for us. For me she is my best friend; of whom I also share a close romantic relationship with. We spend a lot of time around each other, have conversations about technology, and just enjoy each other's company. And if not, we are being introverts doing our own things. The beginning of marriage is kind of an excitement and a little scary and overwhelming at the same time. But once you settle into a routine with your spouse it becomes a lot more normal and such. I don't even think about it much. The only reason recently I have been thinking about it is I am ready to soon adopt my wife's surname.


Just my two cents.