Roll Call 145

Erti · Mar 28, 2019, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

I put that post in the addictions forum and wrote a bit more about it...;

"She's going to go skiing with my sister in the morning. I'm going to study tonight and then go to class in the morning.

I feel like this is my fault but really some things are her fault for allowing my sociopathic narcissistic abusive step dad to be in my life. I allowed everything to happen. I did so many drugs to try and make myself stupid and unaware of my own life, throwing it away, getting hospitalized like 15 times. My mom had to deal with that too and I'm sorry for that but she needs to stop drinking and she's going to drink again.

She says she doesn't want to drink and she'll stop but she drinks a bottle of wine every night or more.

She WONT admit that she has a problem so I can't get her professional help. When she's sober, she has it all together like no one else. She's a completely different person when she's drunk just like my alcoholic real dad that I love very much but he's going to die soon and doesn't care if he dies soon."

sounds like addiction runs in your family. there's not much you can do until she realize she has a problem maybe an intervention and even then they got to want to get better.

Desoxyn · Mar 28, 2019, 12:30 AM

Life is like a really complicated math problem that tires me out to no end

I guess that's why they teach math in school

Erti · Mar 28, 2019, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Desoxyn

Life is like a really complicated math problem that tires me out to no end

work on you for now... focus on school and work... try not to get sucked into family problems. i know it's hard... my family is full of problems but I got through it...

Desoxyn · Mar 28, 2019, 12:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

work on you for now... focus on school and work... try not to get sucked into family problems. i know it's hard... my family is full of problems but I got through it...

Yeah everyone needs to work on themselves. I regret not doing it in the past but I was too young to know any better.. But people also need to work by lifting each other up.. My moms boss is a real crow.. bitter.. cynical.. "I hate the snow it always snows" in north americas best ski resort with her cigarette wrinkly face and high heels.. I don't understand like I could laugh at things but it's too disturbing for me lol

Possible trigger:

I have.. thoughts of spiking her coffee with LSD to get rid of her negative energy...but don't worry... I won't do it..But I want to..

Erti · Mar 28, 2019, 12:41 AM

I guess what i'm trying to say is that all you can do for your mom is being an open ear but put yourself first. if it gets too much you need a break.

Desoxyn · Mar 28, 2019, 12:41 AM

I'm not going to do it but I might just get myself fired by saying I did it and then "Because you need to get rid of your negative energy. I hate you".

Boom fired..

Erti · Mar 28, 2019, 12:45 AM

im surprise i'm not tired. i've been up for a while.

ofthevalley · Mar 28, 2019, 05:54 AM

Morning! It’s Thursday!!!
My son is sick today so I have company. I’m a terrible person...I love when the kids take a sick day. It’s like a special mom/kid day. I get to spoil them and baby them. It’s great as long as they don’t need a doc or anything.
Got a couple hours of work to do today. May put it off until this afternoon and go back to bed this morning after bringing my daughter to school. Depends on if I feel better. My stomach feels terrible this morning. My own fault. I had broccoli cheese soup for dinner. Lots o’ dairy lol.

Loial · Mar 28, 2019, 08:04 AM

Morning all!

Nice sunny day here.

Hope everyone is okay.

Blue_Bird · Mar 28, 2019, 08:19 AM

Doing a crossword puzzle, my mind works a lot better than it was

newtus · Mar 28, 2019, 08:31 AM

Im ok

Woke up 30 min ago

Had coffee. Taking all my vitamins now!

Desoxyn · Mar 28, 2019, 09:28 AM

Good morning. Was going to study last night but couldn't read because my eyes were twitching like I was going to panic so benzo and sleep. Now I have to study types of skulls within the hour, buy an energy drink and go to class. Vyvanse..

SlumberKitty · Mar 28, 2019, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by falcon09

i am going to my grandmothers again, until my appointment tomorrow. Just don't feel safe alone

HUGS Falcon09

SlumberKitty · Mar 28, 2019, 12:13 PM

Hi everyone, I'm definitely sick. I have cough that is kind of deep and hurts my chest sometimes. I'm still at work because I'm not running a fever or anything and I'm pretty isolated in my office, but I may leave early if I start really not feeling well. I would prefer to be at home curled up watching murder mysteries or something with my kitties, but if I get really sick later in the year then I will need my sick pay for that so for now I'm sticking it out. Germ free Hugs to everyone, Kit.

Mar 28, 2019, 12:27 PM

perhaps the scarriest thing to come out of today, is the realisation that I've not listened to any type of music in 2 days, and since I'm someone who loves
music, that's a pretty scary/ depressing thought

today was a pretty average day.

nothing really bad happened, but then nothing really good happened either

is it a little scary that a day of just going through the motions is thought of as a normal day for me?

that's kinda depressing

Erti · Mar 28, 2019, 12:59 PM

been usually sleepy today. maybe that's a good sign?

Findingreason · Mar 28, 2019, 01:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

been usually sleepy today. maybe that's a good sign?

How many days have you been off of Paxil? Also perhaps Geodon increase added a little bit of sedation?

Erti · Mar 28, 2019, 01:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Findingreason

How many days have you been off of Paxil? Also perhaps Geodon increase added a little bit of sedation?

i stopped taking it monday. I'm still hearing spirits and gods and stuff telling me to jump out my window and fly. Geodon is suppose to help with that but honestly i think they're real... i've heard them all my life. not this bad tho.

Findingreason · Mar 28, 2019, 01:04 PM

Hey everyone, how are things going?

I'm sorry I've been so out of the loop on Roll Call. Times have been turbulent. My therapist and I have been meeting twice a week the last couple weeks, with a two hour session Monday and another 2 hour session next Monday.

Possible trigger:

My traumas have been torturing me really badly. It's really tough times. Thankfully I am pretty mentally sound during this time. Therapist said cause I am stable and my mind is clear it may be why these things are bubbling to the surface.

Had a 45 minute talk on the phone with my mom, then calling my sister later today when she is available.

What's everyone up to?

Findingreason · Mar 28, 2019, 01:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

i stopped taking it monday. I'm still hearing spirits and gods and stuff telling me to jump out my window and fly. Geodon is suppose to help with that but honestly i think they're real... i've heard them all my life. not this bad tho.

Well at the very least maybe the mania/hypomania is ending though? I'm sorry the symptoms with the spirits are bad.

Erti · Mar 28, 2019, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Findingreason

Well at the very least maybe the mania/hypomania is ending though? I'm sorry the symptoms with the spirits are bad.

maybe... we'll see how tonight goes.

cogladaid · Mar 28, 2019, 01:07 PM

Spring makes me crazy. I get energy in spring.

I was a little delusional yesterday. Have been dealing with intrusive thoughts lately as well. But today I feel really good. I feel spring in the air. Gives me energy.

Erti · Mar 28, 2019, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Findingreason

Hey everyone, how are things going?

I'm sorry I've been so out of the loop on Roll Call. Times have been turbulent. My therapist and I have been meeting twice a week the last couple weeks, with a two hour session Monday and another 2 hour session next Monday.

Possible trigger:

My traumas have been torturing me really badly. It's really tough times. Thankfully I am pretty mentally sound during this time. Therapist said cause I am stable and my mind is clear it may be why these things are bubbling to the surface.

Had a 45 minute talk on the phone with my mom, then calling my sister later today when she is available.

What's everyone up to?

Yeah, but think about the ptsd diagnosis and continue with counseling. if you're feeling like you're going to hurt yourself or others it's a good idea to think about the hospital. it's good that you're talking to your mom... maybe she and your sister can help. have you talk to your sister about the flashbacks? maybe she won't tell everyone like your mother will.

Blue_Bird · Mar 28, 2019, 01:16 PM

Having a nice day. I studied Italian, cleaned, started a crossword puzzle, learned how to set up the Arkham Horror card game, and have been reading. I might draw later

Findingreason · Mar 28, 2019, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Erti

Yeah, but think about the ptsd diagnosis and continue with counseling. if you're feeling like you're going to hurt yourself or others it's a good idea to think about the hospital. it's good that you're talking to your mom... maybe she and your sister can help. have you talk to your sister about the flashbacks? maybe she won't tell everyone like your mother will.

I am safe for right now. Not feeling like I am a harm to myself or others. But nope, not yet. She is trustworthy though. She keeps to her word and keeps secrets. I may talk to her about it.

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