Roll Call: 146

Last one got to 100 pages, so here ya go!

Thanks slumberkitty

Thanks Kitty! 🐱

Thanks Kitty!

Thanks Kit!

Drawing again (animal crossing villager)

Nice work bluebird 😀

Testing 1 2 3

For some reason I can't like anyone's posts. And I'm sick again.

It wont let me either

It’s letting me on tapatalk

Thanks unsure, at least it's not just me. I slept all day. Didn't eat lunch or dinner.

I keep having nightmares since being in the hospital the other day.

I remember when I first got out of inpatient at a psych hospital I would wake up every morning and expect to be back in the hospital.

Im playing minecraft with the bf

Going to the movies tomorrow night with my friend

If I could go back to when I was 14 I would have killed my step dad and would be ok with jail.

Happy birthday JunkDNA =]

Made my first Wish purchase! Can’t wait to see if it’s actual size lol. Probably get it in like a month.
I’m super excited. I have extra money this coming week. I’m even paying a month in advance for my daughters braces! Thank god Spring is here and hours have picked up.
I also got...pot pen cartridges!!! 6 of them. They were gifted to me .
Nothing really going on. Been too busy to do much.
I did go to breakfast with my husband today. Walmart too lol. Good times!

My mom used something i said about me and fiances relationship against me. Like she always does. Blah blah blah “well didnt dustin say he didnt like you doing this and that”

Fck u. & shut the fkc up

Im stupid for telling her this shyt.

She acts like she means well but she doesnt

Everyone tells me to stop and i never learn til i get burned by her.

She told me i should come live with her and dustin could live with his parents till we can find a place to live after this lease is up. Even dustin said i would be miserable! I know i would!

Desoxy, interesting post on Facebook about tv and the tv signal.

I took my meds. I almost didn’t. Part of me thinks they’re poisoning me. I can’t shake this. Driving me insane if it’s not one crazy thought or problem it’s another.

Yesss.. Reality is an orb of energy.. created by nothing (You, me - God).. that is why this is our first life.. but very unlikely.. as memory is all we are... who we are.. reincarnation.. for all that exists is one person.. but in "reality", we must come together and know others exist.. which are hallucinations.. together only once.. for the past, present and future are all the same.. trauma can define a person.. fear is trauma.. delusions are hard to get rid of except when the antipsychotic lowers the dopamine.. lack of dopamine makes us do many things and multitask and have sex.. antipsychotics increase prolactin which is released naturally after an orgasm to not want sex.. too much dopamine = negative symptoms of schizophrenia and relaxation.. So many colours of what is good in the world outweigh all the murder, rape, violence and feeling stuck in the box of society.. people naturally build new civilizations since the beginning of time (Such as in the Roman empire) (Screw this society, really..) But America is a good place.. Opportunity compared to China for example.. although China will be the new middle class while millennials struggle living in flat apartments on top of eachother... very small.. no retirement.. So they do LSD.. The psychedelic revolution.. they find out that there is something greater than this box.. Greater than what antipsychotics do to the schizophrenics.. because we are healers.. frequency to other realities.. beautiful realities.. we will go to a place.. a place where my grandfather went before he died.. He's watching me.. wondering how and why I do the things I do.. Everyone has someone watching someone..

A dose of nonsense is good for roll call... Because I try to heal people in that way.. because nothing in the world makes sense to anyone.. so many problems people have.. mostly relationship problems.. they are trapped thinking about what to on their days off after work.. which is basically slavery if they don't have money.. then they want to buy shiny things (But that's not the point)..

People are exhausted by life more than I thought they are. I thought I was the only one.. but people can live decades longer than me.. while I think I'll die before 30... but I barely know anything at this age.. I want to write a book when I'm around 50 and write many songs before then.. something out of expression? Is this what I'm doing? Expressing? Is it therapeutic? I think so.. So I apologize because I don't even like my thoughts.. Sometimes I see the problems I have and I just want to do something.. something good.. But I always feel bad about what I do.. Life is short.. people in my life will leave and die.. Shame.. Silent to become the stars we once were in the galaxy.. but far away, the dying flames of our souls where we can do anything that we want..

So don't give up. Please. So many people including me wanted to literally inflict death upon self..

And that means something, nonsense or not.

I put something on Facebook that a philosopher found interesting. I must be doing something right..

Sometimes I don't feel like taking any of my meds and just laying there.. In a hole somewhere..

I know you're exhausted too. I can feel it.

I'm freaking out I got like 40% on my course so far (Excluding the april 10th and april 17th assignments) and the extra 30% is essays that I have to do like right now. I'll get up in the morning and study but then I go to work at 2pm-10pm. Then next morning I'll study and go to work again at 2pm-10pm, then I'll study all day Saturday and Monday april 8th until 5pm Monday to hand in a proper essay. Then I have to do questions on readings by april 10th and hand in another essay on april 15th then do an assignment that I couldn't do because I didn't have the course book by april 17th. Then on April 23rd I have to submit two of my corrected essays.

This is going to be super stressful for me I'll need lots of cigarettes and I'm not sure if I can do it.