Roll Call 151

Yeah! I got it.

It and Zelda and Mario, I can buy more games next month.

Add me on there. I forget my switch number, but I'll send it to you on snap tomorrow.

I'm exhausted and laying down. Brain overload.

I just stubbed my toe into the wall. Ugh fck it hurts like hell.

I wish I could write down how I really feel. Like pages and pages and paragraphs. I want someone to talk to. When my cousin was here, I had someone to talk to. Now I have no one to talk to again.

I need a good therapist that I can talk to for 10 hours a day. My therapist is on holidays. I need a therapist BAD.

I NEED TO EXPRESS. All I do is express my paaaaaaaiiin. I need to take control. But all I do is listen and I don't think my own thoughts and do what I want to do. I take too much advice.

I'm literally dying. I'm sick of being so tired so I got out of bed. I don't know what to do.

Did a bit of writing. Was stressed. Talked with my sister as the olanzepine kicked in.

I feel better =]

I can give you my friend code for the Switch too falcon if that's alright

OMG my life summarized perfectly!

Slept good. Woke up at 5, made coffee, took a long walk then took a shower. Going to do laundry later

Morning! Slept okay but not enough. Still a bit under the weather.
But my real problem is MOTIVATION. Guys I am suddenly a . I cannot even force myself to do anything. I put clothes in the wash on Saturday...I then washed them every day since because I was too lazy to put them in the dryer until today. And that’s only because I was out of underwear . It’s awful I just got nothing to give.

I'm so pissed. I walked a mile to the laundromat with a huge bag of laundry to do and their change machine was broken so I couldn't get quarters and the corner store there didn't have any. So I had to walk all the way back with my dirty laundry in the heat.

I feel really dizzy, like the room is spinning

Maybe I didn't eat enough and that's why I was so dizzy, I just ate and feel better

I don't normally sweat a lot but my shirt was drenched in sweat when I got home earlier, had to change

Good morning. Vyvanse is waking me up.

10 hour sleep. I feel less stressed but groggy. Gonna go for a bike ride with people in the afternoon.

hi guys. I'm tired today even though I slept in until 6 AM. Usually I get up between 4:30 AM and 5 AM. I still feel bad. Suicidal. Depressed. Ugh. I see T on Friday. Just gotta pull it together until then. I feel like laying on the floor and just sleeping. But I can't because I'm at work. I want to SH because I know it would change how I'm feeling for a bit and I could use a break from it but I'm trying to remember that if I don't SH I'm more emotionally stable. But it's hard to make that argument when one is suicidal. Day two of feeling like this. Wish it would go away. Hugs all, Kit

They worked on my ceiling today. Tomorrow they'll sand and paint then that will be it

Haven't sketched in awhile so just did a quick one of psyduck from Pokémon

Sorry to ear you’re feeling bad do you have a selfcare box or any selfcare routines you can implement?

You know when you are feeling so bad, you don't even want to do any self care? That's where I'm at. But, yes, there's some stuff I can do. Let me think. Yesterday I went to a friends house and watched a movie and that helped for a while. I emailed a friend and let her know that I'm suicidal. I'm meeting a different friend for coffee tonight. I'm looking at websites that are for dealing with suicidal thoughts. Another friend suggested journaling so I might do some of that. Laying under my weighted blankets sounds good if I can be cool enough. I think these are some things I can do or am planning to do. I'm trying, just not feeling well at all. I started a new drug (statin) for cholesterol and fish oil prescribed by my GP on Friday. Tuesday my depression spiraled out of control. That's the only thing that has changed. I don't know if statin meds can cause depression stuff or if this is just a coincidence. The paper that comes with the medication didn't list any psychiatric effects. But this is the same feeling I got last time I was on a medication that induced suicidal feelings. It has that same feel to it. Sigh. If I have to, I'll go to the hospital. HUGS Kit

Went mountain biking. Heart went BEATBEATBEAT.. Sweating.

I'm gonna do this more often

You should get addicted to mountain biking. It's good exercise and experience.

Just found out Pokemon has a twitter. Which is cool.

It’s possible it’s metabolized in the same way one of your psych meds is making the level of psych meds artificially higher due to competition, a lot of he psych meds cause sui thinking when th dose is changed.

@ofthevalley-your post reminded me i have wet laundry in the washer. I better go rewash it, but i have to go do it.
Also i have stuff in the dryer, and stuff in the "clean" hamper to be put away.
Laundry always goes to the lowest possible position when I'm low. Is there any possible vaguely acceptable thing to cover my wife with? Myself? Yes? Then to heck with it.