Roll Call 153

Coffee even decaf is acidic so if you have stomach acid problems it’s not good to have.

Some people like the taste of coffee... like myself. I prefer regular but sometimes drink decaf because I don't need too much caffeine, I prefer it over tea

Higher quality coffee is usually less acidic. I mean, its still acidic but not nearly as much as cheap coffee so sometimes it's good to buy higher quality.

Newtus try propranolol 40mg or atenolol 50mg (Less side effects) in the morning. It's amazing at killing anxiety.

I don't check my pulse anymore and I used to check it hundreds of times a day.

Hi everyone. HUGS for those who are struggling today. @newtus. I'm sorry to hear about the anxiety. Anxiety sucks. I get a lot of anxiety about people dying that I love. Especially when they are traveling or just out together, like my parents, I get worried they will be in a car accident and die. I've been like that since I was little. It's the GAD I suppose. If you're feeling anxious, it might be good to go ahead and take the anti-anxiety medication especially as you have been getting panic attacks. HUGS Kit

I had therapy yesterday. It didn't go well. It didn't go horrible. It just didn't go well. I don't think T understood how depressed I am or how sui. I feel like I have to but even then I don't know if it would translate. I have a horrible headache today. I am missing former T. It is the one year anniversary of our last therapy session together. One year since we've talked on the phone. I texted her and emailed her today. She probably won't get back to me or it will be a long time before she does. I saw her for like 10 years. I wish she still cared about me. I believe she does, but I can't feel it like I used to be able to. I wish current T was more like former T. But current T has helped me with some of the hallucinations. I'm just tired of feeling depressed and sui all the time.

Paranoia kicked my behind again.

Two sets of voices: one set saying they were coming for me, and another one saying to run and hide. I ran into the TV room, then another patient came in and I ran away, then I hid in a corner near the smoking room and another patient found me and got a nurse. Then the nurse got me out of there and got me an Ativan to calm me down.

Ugh.

Played solitaire for awhile, with actual cards. Prefer that to playing it digitally

I think that's how I'll start my mornings now. Coffee, journal, and solitaire

Well reason is because i get anxiety on caffeine on my new med.

I forgot to take my antianxiety med cuz I was almost late for work fiddling with my ear plugs cuz one of my ears is infected. Idk why. It could be cuz I have "wet ear" which is buildup between the plug and ear lobe. I wear my plugs in the shower. As well as necklaces that are quality and my engagement ring and my promise ring.

Anyhoo, I did well today. But I had to wear only one plug today and I was super embarrassed cuz my earlobe is huge since I gauged them. But it was either be late for work trying to put it in or that.

There's such thing as stimulant-antipsychotic syndrome (SAS) which can cause acute dystonia and dyskinesia when switching a stimulant to an antipsychotic, an antipsychotic to a stimulant, taking away a stimulant from an antipsychotic or taking away an antipsychotic from a stimulant.

I better be careful. Although I think it's already too late cuz I get akathisia when I don't take the Vyvanse.

I'll probably get parkinsons disease when I'm older.

I'm euphoric idk why

What I’m saying is if you get anxiety from caffeine that’s fine but cut out coffee entirely if it’s causing gi issues, it’s notorious for that and if youre not getting the caffeine imo it’s not worth the gi issues.

I'm sorry that happened FR. I'm glad the nurse got you an Ativan. I hope you feel better soon.

Tomorrow I get to go watch my nephew's football game. It is going to require me taking off of work a little early but I am excited to see his game. He's a junior in High School this year. My how time flies.

That's awesome, hope it goes well! It is crazy how fast time flies, my niece just started high school this year

I dont feel well and I dont totally know why. I think my ear is infected and I'm scared it has spread to my jaw and nose because those have been aching all day.

I also have a headache coming on.

Hard to believe I’m turning 31 at the end of the month I swear I don’t feel older than 22 time sure flies.

Maybe make a trip to urgent care to be on the safe side....

I honestly dont have the money. I would have to pay copays plus the cost after insurance later on, which I dont have. My insurance isnt taken at places like that sometimes too. I went to ER Tuesday and they wanted 1000 dollars. I had to leave.

Urgent care is less expensive maybe a hundred bucks plus the cost of antibiotics you’ll need. Ear infections don’t easily go away on their own and can make you deaf in one ear if you ignore them.

I dont have that. I mean money-wise.

******* American healthcare seriously can’t even go to urgent care without worrying about money.

Where I live there's a clinic that is walk in. It's targeted for non-English speaking persons, but it costs only $40 for the appointment, no insurance needed according to the signs which are in Spanish but I can read it. And then you just have to pay the cost of the prescription. Is there something like that where you live?