Roll Call 153

So far the deaths have all been in thc users but that doesn’t mean it’s cant happen with a normal vape if it has the same component, I’m just saying watch out for it.

I have no idea where the polysporing is. I lent it to fiance and he has now idea where it is. Ugh my life.

I understand.

It's like I no longer have an addiction to beer. I drink every once and awhile. But it's the vape I cant quit. I just cant.

I told myself if I get pregnant that's when ima stop. But who knows if I'll take it up after the pregnancy.

Hm. I dont think theres anything wrong with my ear lobe. I have noticed its always been a little more red than the other side. And thicker too. I think its thicker than the other side because when my parents got my ears pierced (i was 3 years old) I'm assuming it was off a little on either side. So one side the under lobe has always been thicker. The other one, thinner. Idk. But I notice the thicker one (my left) I've always had more trouble with it, with gauging it to bigger sizes. Since I was 14 or 15 when I started.

I will get more polysporin, new gauges (I've been wearing the same ones for 4 years), and I wont wear them in the shower anymore (which causes buildup between the lobe and plug. "Wet ear"). I should probably take my rings off too while I'm at it, because the shower causes them to lose shine faster with all the soap and stuff. And who knows what else.

It's time I better start taking better care of myself physically. I've pretty much mastered the art of mental health care, aside from extreme anxiety, but I've got that one down almost.

Here's to a new era of Newtus!

I'm scared I'm gonna die

This is why you need to goto the doc to figure out what’s wrong....if they say nothing then you’re good. None of us are doctors.

Umm, don't you have a PhD?

I feel that. I take care of myself mentally but I eat like **** and barely exercise, not a good idea.

lol yes I meant MDs

Coo Dr. SP.

I don't know who Diet Dr. Pepper is, but they taste great!

I was going to take CBD for a week straight but I have no reason to take it.

All I need is phenibut. I should buy another pound of it.

I feel really creative at the end of my injection. I can willfully hallucinate random chains of connecting pictures in my head and make words out of them easier.

It could have been the weed overdose idk.

I started going to the phys therapy room again, and it's having a really good affect on my mood. My friend is coming this weekend and I hope it won't rain much. The remnants of Dorian.

Does everyone but me know where Valley is lately?

I do not she hasn’t been on snap either

Shes been on fb. She said her internet has been dodgy.

I want to get out and do something. Like go for a run. But it's 10pm. I'm starting to feel the need to exercise or something.

I want a full time job cuz then I have a reason to get up in the morning. But mostly I get up to exercise or many doctors and therapist appointments, coffee connections, etc and it's nice to be able to do things that I want on the other hand.

Idk I feel restless. I want it to be daytime. But I'll probably take seroquel and go to bed.

Maybe try to recreate what you like about the hospital into your home environment. Like scheduling/routines, check ins with people, stuff like that

Ya. This is from fake/adulterated THC cartridges . Not a nicotine vape

Yea all that stuff is still so new so not much long term research out there

It's my weekend today n tmrw

I'm not feeling that well physically

Wow

It smells like hamburgers outside lol

A prep cook in the kitchen gave me a card yesterday even tho it was HIS bday

Inside it he wrote some nice things but it was mainly saying how odd, weird and strange I am but I guess in a good way??? At leSt I hope.

And that everyone enjoys having me around

He said I'm the embodiment of a sour patch kid LOL so true

The past year at this job I gave up on trying so hard to appear normal as it is extremely exhausting to do that for 8 hours a day

So yea I dont try as hard to hide my symptoms and mask so I guess that's why everyone says I'm weird

But hopefully they mean like ... endearing weird ... and not creepy weird

Morning

Instead of coffee I'm drinking soda for the caffeine.