Roll Call 153

<3

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Soda's dont, but coffee does. Idk why really.

I honestly do want to be on here anymore. I dont feel safe here.

Why's that?

Sodas have like half the caffeine so you might just be really sensitive....

I just dont. And I feel like I want to keep my private life private as of right now.

Okay, I hope everything is ok...

Might go to church this weekend

Yeah same tbh but for different reasons maybe

Sorry people don't feel safe here

I should have asked my psychiatrist why I can't drink alcohol anymore. The most I can physically drink is 2 drinks. I try to push it to 3 drink and get drunk but I feel too depressed and I have a feeling like I'm full from alcohol like I'm full after eating food. I used to be able to drink like 12.

Same thing happened with benzos 6 months ago. I'd abuse them and take 8 and then I couldn't take more than two without feeling weird.

I have GABA intolerance (Which is kind of a good thing but now I don't feel good from alcohol and I liked it 5 years ago).

Now I'm able to smoke weed when I couldn't before at the time I was able to drink alcohol.

At at the same time this reverse happened, my panic attacks disappeared.

So I did some googling and here's what I found;

"Hi, I’m 20, and I have something to tell you.
I have been drinking quite often since i was 17, and I really liked it. But then something happened. Something that changed my view on alcohol and also the feeling which I get from consuming it. What was it?
A psychedelic experience, or I have to say multiple psychedelic experiences with LSD and also psilocybin.
The changes came slowly, my attitude towards alcohol wasn’t changed since I first put an acid blotter on my tongue, it took a while, it took a few psychedelic experiences (around 8) before something interesting happened.
So, If you had some psychedelic experiences, that may be the reason why you don’t like drinking. you simply understanded that alcohol is just a wrong substance to put in your system to make you happy and make you have fun"

"The co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) believed LSD could be used to cure alcoholics and credited the drug with helping his own recovery from often debilitating depression, according to new research.

About 20 years after setting up the Ohio-based sobriety movement in 1935, Bill Wilson came to believe that LSD could help "cynical alcoholics" achieve a "spiritual awakening" and start on the path to recovery."

Newtus is having a very hard time.

I'm just ok now so I'm like "Where else can I go now that I'm better?"

I understand

You could stick around and help others.....

That's what I try to do too

Also, I've been here for over 5 years and have made great friends, the community will always have a place in my heart and I like being supportive

I post all around the forums here, like the bipolar, general chat, habits/self-care etc. I jump around

I totally agree...😀

Found one of my journals, it is hardcover with gnomes on it, really cute, anyway I only used a few pages of it a long time ago and it's a really big journal so I started doing my entries in there now

I think that's a good idea.

I just don't feel like an emotionally supportive person on the internet. I used to help a lot of suicidal people online. A lot of people want love. But not many people love themselves. Self love is important. A lot of people hate what they don't understand like I imagine myself being in the city, listening to someone controversial on my phone and I imagine people yelling at me and then I say "Have you ever had a psychedelic experience?". Idk.

I'm taking 25mg CBD in the morning and 25mg at night. I feel horribly relaxed.

I'm so hungry, not sure why

Sleep......seroquel.....put vyvanse into tiny bowl on bedside table with water....will wake up and listen to a podcast about nutrition...don't know what else to do tomorrow....

I've calmed down now.....slight psychosis....or just thinking too much and it was really hot outside....that's probably it....

I feel sad about things.....

I opened my window so I'm going to sleep to the sound of rain. Maybe take a little bit of shroom (jk).