Roll Call 158!

His bloodwork being bad ....creates a food issue which I can fix.

Glad you’re enjoying the room.

I've always wanted a room like this.

My dad is a huge procrastinator. I've always asked him for stuff like this. My first memory is asking him for a treehouse when I was like 7 or 8. He said he could build me one instead. From the age I was 7 to 15, every year he said he would. I gave up asking at 15. I asked him for multiple things like that. I realized it was an issue for him when I asked to open up my first bank account at 19 and he kept saying "not now". I asked for two years. For help really. Then I said I was going to the bank on my own, and that's when he said ok.

I think I'm gonna have to be comfortable with the fact that he may not work on his will either, ever. I've been asking him every 6 months to since he had that stroke back in 2012. All he ever says is "yes I'm going to do that soon." Its not gonna happen I dont think. I'm trying to be ok with that but I'm in the beginning stages. He owns so much property and multiple cars, of which many are rare or antique/vintage. Plus musical instruments he he has including a very expensive and rare guitar and his first guitar from the early 50s.

Anyway...very saddening. Everything he has could goto the state, and I would never see it again. Much rather he give it to anyone doesnt have to be me, just so I could see it again someday if hes not here anymore.

Damn...a week and a half til Christmas. Its next Wednesday. Next week. Wow.

So into some old rap but the verses are killing me.
Why is it always so profound. Rap Rap Rap

Made my sister/family's Christmas card, best friends is done, so just one more to do

We're gonna make this world harder, better, faster, stronger!

..

Work it harder
Make it better
Do it faster
Makes us stronger
More than ever
Hour after
Our work is
Never over

..

Sorry it's the phenibut/vyvanse talking...

I’m sure they’ll really appreciate it 😀

I love Daft Punk

I hope so I can't really do gift buying with my financial situation due to my rent being pretty much my whole check.. but I try to do some things like make cards and make cookies and other desserts to give to people

I'm back in my old town in the middle of complete nowhere for the weekend. My mom wanted to see the old house because the renters left without paying.

Before they left, I came with my dad to give them a warning and the husband from the moment I heard him open his mouth, he seemed like an idiot/asshole and probably high on something. The wife is good but she's being manipulated by him and has to stick with him for their kids probably.

They left the house a mess. My mom started to cry when she saw the house.. I gave her a hug.. The new renters arrived an hour later and they want to rent anyways because it's a good house. If they didn't, before, I told my mom to do a reverse mortgage until she can sell it. She would get a good 100k+ from it which is good. I can't believe people can be such ****** something trash..

Anyways, they want to rent for a year or more. My mom hired cleaning people to come tomorrow. My apartment in the town next to here is good and they also want to rent for a year or more. I rented it for 5 years. Good investment! My mom is sleeping right now and I just ordered another tub of phenibut just in case with cryptocurrency.

Walking in that house gave me memories of my ex step dad walking around and our fights we had, the abuse, neglect, having no friends cuz avoidant, etc.. My mom is anxious being here cuz after my ex step dad won the million dollars, he took the BnB house for 700k or so and now lives back in this town (In the house across the street that he stayed in when my mom kicked him out. He's working at the mechanics shop again that I worked at) but he's not here right now.. Off working somewhere..

Tomorrow we're going back to the city and I'm going on a bus with my sister back to Jasper.. The mountains.. I'll be skiing and stuff, withdrawing from phenibut slowly and my mom will go back to the cancer compassion house to do her radiation on Monday. I'll be alone with my sister for Christmas but she's going to have Christmas dinner with her bf and I'll be going with my mom's friend and her husband to a hotel Christmas dinner and sleeping at her place.. Funny cuz she has a bf as her husband is 75 and doesn't have sex with her and her bf that she cheats with spends the night at my moms house where I live to hide from her husband.. She drinks a 1.5L bottle of wine every night and when my mom doesn't drink, both her and my moms friend with bipolar are like "Don't you get the shakes??".. lol...

I forget what else I was about to say... Sorry for the boring writing but I felt like sharing what's happening.. My mental health is good.. When the phenibut kicked in, I came back to my moms compassion house for cancer because I forgot my jacket and was like "Let's find the women that were tormenting me!!" and I was gonna tell them off.. I had the confidence to do that, socially..

Getting rid of a lot of my stuff. So when I am able to move I have a small amount of belongings to take and can just start fresh.

I was talking to people and then a troll showed up and I got an adrenaline rush. It was awesome. I love adrenaline. Heart beating fast. Usually when people put me down out of jealousy, they make me feel bad but I owned this guy. Also with the help of the aspie savant guy - His words of positivity made me feel really good about myself.

I need to do more things that give adrenaline rushes lol.. It's like natural coke (I know, I know.. bad.. Buuuut.., yknow..)

Finished the Christmas cards

I feel spent. All day I read my short story and I'm exhausted. It's about ready for me to send it off to my editor at the end of the day tomorrow.

I bought some carolans irish cream to mix with my coffee for obvious reasons. Christmas week I don't work at all so I'll have to find something else to do. I couldn't figure out the formatting for the page numbers because it was too complex for me. :-/

I hope my editor sends it back to me soon. I can't imagine it would be expensive for him to edit and fix that one formatting issue.

six more days!!!

Judging personality trait! To find...
Prospecting personality trait! It finds you..

You find it
It find you

Had a fun night at the bar today.



I know.. I'm a bad girl..

But anyways, my mom had fun too. Lots of drama for her. She likes drama on occasions.. She argued with a scottish man and made him mad about Brexit and the IRA.. I told the guys I was good at pool and I am.. IQ I know where to sink the balls.. My mom got into drama cuz the owner likes me and my dad so he let my sister (17) into the bar but she didn't drink and the woman told the other workers that my sister was in there.. Then my sister was snapchatting her daughter about their moms and my sister is a little ***** so she owned her...

Took seroquel, beta blocker, melatonin and fish oil pill.. Now I sleep.

Good night. I love you all and sexually (If you want.. - Soz.., it's the GABA's.. jk obvious cuz I'm asexual..)

Can't get back to sleep so I'm up getting some cleaning done

Paced around my apartment for 3 straight hours listening to music, didn't realize how much time had passed

Didnt wake up til about now really. Noon. Canceled all my podcasts I'm supposed to do today until I get my medicine sorted out.

Anddddd... I got a text message from my cousin in California. My grandma is in the emergency room. I hope she doesnt die. Shes like 90 I think. My grandpa just died this past September. They are my last grandparents.

Wow there's a thread on a personality forum about a lot of INFP's being asexual. A lot really are. It's a personality thing. Next would be INTP's and INTJ's. It seems to be an introverted intuitive thing. Very interesting..

Now I can just say that I'm asexual cuz of my personality...

Hope she'll be okay

Hope I can get some sleep tonight. Only got 4 hours last night.

Interesting, that lines up with my anecdotal observations.

I found my results from when I took the professional assessment back in the day. I’m an ENTJ, lol I completely forgot. All of my family members are NT types with very few exceptions.