Roll Call 166!

Thanks! Just ordered it! Looking forward to reading it!

Getting some regular coffee tomorrow. Tired of decaf. Need the caffeine highs again.

Gotta go to the pharmacy too to pick up some of my meds.

Going to work on drawing this weekend.

I have learned (many times) that I cannot live without regular coffee. It's almost like one of those things I'm perpetually indecisive about... I don't know why, per se...

I think I've spent most of the day high from the thc I ingested a few thc brownies yesterday and well... I'm just ah I'm high oops no im not... oops nvm I'm high.

Almost cleaned out the meth/heroin/crack ***** house.

My veins are getting bigger it seems.

I feel safe in the hotel with a machete.

Valium.

I have philosophical thoughts about reality that most people will be having in 5-10 years.

My cognition could go to ****. I'm exhausted all the time.. As I've said, big veins. Need beta blockers.

If I had a purpose, I'd be able to focus on that but I'm an information sponge that has cognitive fatigue. I need everything around me clean to focus.

I can't be an artist can I? I want to be known for something great. I want to overcome addiction. I've been around addicts all day. I say they need to trip but no one listens. It's true.

The doc wants be to add gradually 25mgs for 4 days and then add another 25mgs. We're seeing what 100mg in the morning and and 550 at night with a total 650mg a day of clozapine

This was all I needed to hear;

"As you get older, your skin gets thinner and loses elasticity, making your veins more visible. Also, as you age, your valves in your veins weaken. This can cause blood to pool in your veins for a longer period of time. This enlarges the vein."

Not this (Lol);

*Can't find it now but it said something about death* Lmfao

****ing Google..

I'm gonna open the door and turn on the air conditioner cuz I can't stand the veins on my hands

Running my hands under cold water for a minute completely worked.

I think I've gone mad..

I know that there's 40,000+ emotions but I just want to feel content.

Yeah. I hear you.

Bit of work stress. Started using a (new to me) program called Microsoft Teams. Still trying to work that out.

Having a work party today at noon for the May birthdays. Having hot dogs & chips. Then at 2 o'clock we are having cheesecake. Not bad. Plus it is donut Friday! Good thing I ate a healthy breakfast of cream of wheat.

It’s morning. I just woke up. I’m already stressed out. I’m not gonna be able to pay all my bills this month.

Are you at least able to get food and that sort of things?

We had cupcakes and ice cream here at the apartment complex for an early memorial day celebration treat, they decorated the outside of the building too with banners and ribbons of the US flag pattern

I just saw a really good job but it’s like an hour away.....I just can’t drive that far in city traffic....and I can’t move out there because it’s too expensive and I’d need to drive back for school later on anyway. I may just have to volunteer to get experience.

Yes we are, Fortunately.

Man...............fck

That sounds fun!

Unfortunately, sometimes the really good jobs aren't the right jobs for you. I once had a job interview for a job that would have paid like $75K a year which is huge to me. But it was about an hour and 15 minutes away, sometimes I would be stuck there due to snow, I didn't have quite enough experience for it. Etc. Etc. But then I ended up where I am at now and besides being bored, this is a good job for me. You'll find the right job at the right time. HUGS Kit

Well, that's good news!

I don’t feel good at all.having a anxiety attack.

HUGS @newtus

So true, there’s no guarantee I would be qualified enough. But it’s at a great library and they are willing to consider students and not just a full mls. It’s also in a really nice area north of the city. I keep looking for alternatives like living half way between there and school. But it’s only part time so would be a potential issue financially. Still a girl can dream.