Roll Call 169!!

Yeah we have a week long midterm next week...fun fun fun

Oy that doesn’t sound like fun at all.

At least with my exams one is multiple choice and the other I have to write an analysis or a summary of some articles.

It’s a take home though luckily. I mean open book....

Yeah I think all I need to tell him is just let's not mess with it anymore. I'm sure it can be resolved.

I am with you, Kit. I feel for you.

We care. We care.

Everything seems like such a drag for me

I am eating guacamole and watching german shepherd puppy videos!

And drinking too much root beer.

I told my doctor that I used ketamine last year for depression - It really helped me (I think that's why I did so well last year). He agreed that it does help and if I'm ever depressed again, he can prescribe it - I think that's what he said?

I'm gonna talk to him on Monday about it. I can buy the nasal spray online but it's 200 dollars.

I think it's pretty new in Canada so idk if he can.

I've been using phenibut for depression the past year when I ran out of ketamine but I think that ketamine is much better.

I used an experimental relative of Ketamine for my depression.It was a total miracle cure. But it elevated my blood pressure too much and ultimately made me manic, so, I can't use it. You should look into it.

Welp, just found a dear old friend's obituary from several years ago. So sad. He was like a brother to me. I reallly, really loved him a lot. Brilliant surgeon, funny, sweet, humble and pompous at the same time, insecure, really. Bipolar with bad alcoholism and cocaine addiction. So sad. So sad.

That sounds like A plan....much rather all your meds came from your doc.....

Sorry for your loss....

Can’t believe I’m awake right now...this is the third night this week I’ve had broken sleep. Going back to bed and hopefully to sleep now.

Was listening to a joe rogan experience podcast about the police. I'm not very interested in police. I know it's a mess and corrupt in the US so idk.

I then found a podcast about Dr. Gabor Mate (He went deep into talking about homeless peoples experiences with addiction in Vancouver etc and has a lot of good insights about addiction) so I'll watch that later.

Right now made chamomile tea. I forgot how well it works for my anxiety so I'll be drinking it more often.

I'm listening to songs that I listened to while in Guatemala. I made a playlist of those songs and they give a really neat vibe of being there. It was basically the only time I felt happy when I was a teenager - Those 3 weeks. I want to read a story about someones experience in Guatemala so I'm gonna find a book about it. Then maybe read about Mayan/Aztec civilization.

I'll try and read something that I feel like reading and kind of ignore everything else - It will help with depression.

Feeling a bit of anxiety but even sipping on the tea gives me comfort.

Because I've had panic attacks where my mom helped me out and would give me an Ativan and I'd always feel better.

I went for a walk around the block as I walked out of the door I started crying. It's too much for me. Everything.

I'll see if there's a movie I can watch.

Edit: Nah I'll go to sleep.

Thanks, Sometimes. Just tried to sleep and had nightmares about him, so,back up again.

Morning

Gonna take my meds and have coffee.

I got this dancing game on the Oculus and I did it last night. Really went on the sweat a lot. So I think I’m gonna start using that to get some exercise since I haven’t been out much. We also ate burgers last night with quinoa and some other stuff in it that I can’t remember, cuz it was healthy food. Had some broccoli in it.



This was it.

So hopefully I can get back to eating healthy and now incorporating exercise.

Lucky, lucky, lucky ...bf went out shopping early and brought home donuts ...apple fritter for me, yay!

Ugh. Think my dads been drinking before work.

Not good....

ITS FRIDAY!!!!

I get five days off and a two day work week so I’m excited. Going to sleep in and get some coursework stuff done and watch old movies. Those are my plans for days off and Canada Day!

Probably eat tacos tonight. I love homemade tacos. So fun making the tortillas.