Roll Call 169!!

Thanks for sharing your experience @WastingAsparagus maybe I'm not supposed to forget because I don't want to end up back there? I'm sorry you were hospitalized too. HUGS Kit

Thank you @WastingAsparagus I'm at work right now for about another 40 to 45 minutes, but when I go home I'm going to do something distracting. Most of my day I've just been thinking about the date and it's just getting to me now where I want to cry and everything. Falling apart because of a date on a calendar! Hopefully after a year it just becomes a yearly meltdown I have instead of a monthly meltdown just because of the date!

Happy Birthday, Kit!!!! I hope you'll have a great new year.

Thank you @Angelique67 I'll miss you guys on Monday (my actual birthday!) but since I will be at the aquarium, I doubt I will be online. I have to remember to take pictures so I can share them with you all!

Do you have a radio? It helps me, ymmv.

The world in my head is so much more fun than reality at the moment. I don’t know. It’s not a good sign.

The closest would be having an app on my phone. I can see how it would help me.

When I was like 10-12, I used to lie in bed with a radio and earbuds in before I went to sleep. I would listen to stories of this woman giving people advice, the news - Then one really scary techno song would play at the end.

Weird times but good.

When I was little I would wear my mickey mouse watch to bed and listen to it "tick" and watch the blinking light of the factory across town. The only way I could fall asleep is if I had the "ticking" noise and the blinking light.

I’m glad you’re feeling better about it but sorry youre having trouble with motivation still....and the anxiety.

Sorry for your experience....hugs....

Yes, I got the date wrong again. The Aquarium sounds wonderful, I hope you'll take lots of pictures!

Took 40mg of CBD. I'll see if that helps with anxiety. 50-100mg really relaxes my muscles but I never took it in a while because it doesn't help me sleep.

About to eat supper and take meds, will probably get sleepy soon after that.

Today was a tough day. I baked in the sun pretty hard while doing this exterior. The other senior guy came in at the last half hour and I didn't even want him to. I had to hustle even him because he started rolling at the center of the panel and wasn't going all the way up and down. I have to say, I'm getting really tired of training people and I just want to do this place by myself because no one else will do it right. I need a beer to chill out.

I had to reorder my registration and tags for my car. I hate doing this stuff online, i like to do this stuff in person that way there is no room for error. So now I have to drive around with expired tags for another 2 weeks. I could very well get a ticket over this. I'm beat. I feel like everything is going wrong right now and I can't catch a break.

Tomorrow is Friday though. I just messed around with the "print out registration" and saved it to the cloud, that way i can pull out my phone when a cop pulls me over. So that solves that. I like this amazon Alexa speaker. It's nice to just walk in and say "Alexa play music" and it pull up the most recent play list on Spotify. Saturday DARK 3rd season is released. I messaged a woman who lives in canton on OkCupid. She might respond...

I have a question for you all. I am now taking more meds (Zyprexa and Xanax XR in addition to Abilify, Effexor XR, and Remeron). This is the combination that has helped me for many years, but I am not sure if I feel comfortable going off or down on the Zyprexa or Xanax XR. Do you guys have any thoughts on that? I am just thinking I'm a little sedated and feel self-conscious about that.

I feel like my psychiatrist is always wanting to get me down on meds. It stinks. I hate how he is always changing things around.

So for me I did one big experiment....went off my one med completely tried all the doses etc. Once was enough, now I’m on a fixed dose of abilify. My advice if you want to play, play once....personally if you’re ok and don’t have a lot of side effects I’d stay the course.

Yeah it's just tough because I always have people opining about my meds. Even my parents ****ing opine about it and it makes me angry. And contributes to my indecisiveness. I wish my psychiatrist would just respect that I want to stay on what helps the most.

Is your pdoc relatively new to you or something? Sometimes when you’re on multiple APs they thing it’s wrong but there can be justification for it.

My first psychiatrist was a nightmare, so midway through treatment, I decided to take control of my mental health and do my own research, tinker here and there, suggest to him what I want, and what I'm willing to live with. Never again will I just nod my head and say okay. That's just my own jaded experience with a terrible pdoc.

No I've been seeing him for 6-7 years.

I don’t get it then...my pdoc is like the iron fist of no changes since you’re stable....

There’s too many that aren’t like that tho. Like some pdocs in my past.

I shouldn’t be this tired

Today really felt like Friday. But at least tomorrow actually is Friday.

Then I get five days off! Yay! July 1st is Canada Day and my company has given us two extra paid days off so I get Monday and Tuesday off as well.

I have to schedule two exams so I can finish those courses, and I have two new courses starting July 1 so I’m planning on getting a head start on those this long weekend.