Roll Call 169!!

That makes me think. I would love to take advantage of my ability to see details in the obvious and the overlooked, and write a book about it.

Yet I never notice what colour or what type of clothes people are wearing, hair style or colour, etc

Social deficit real

So idk if y’all have heard of Imperfect Foods, but it’s a type of grocery delivery service but they deliver produce and other meat/fish/snack/grain products too, that would otherwise be thrown away at the typical grocery store for all kinds of reasons. Little imperfections, etc.

So I signed up. They deliver in my area on Saturdays. It’s 43 a week, which could replace my usual grocery bill. Half the cost for double the healthy food.

I signed up for every 2 weeks tho. Also, they offer a reduced rate if you are on Ssdi/ssi/food stamps, etc. it’s a company, so it’s not part of the gov food assistance, but they offer reduced rate if u can prove you are on assistance or can’t afford otherwise.

That's pretty awesome

Yeah I used them a few years back...it’s nice to be able to pick out what you want every week and just get it delivered. When I used it, it was all veg but they’ve really enhanced it since then.

Gonna phone the doctors office to make an appointment to get refills for meds and also phone my therapist to make an appointment.

I'm gonna try and work on being more assertive. I'll start with that. Then just to talk about how I think of myself and such so I can work on how to fix the way that I think.

I could look up online - Spirituality and meditation techniques and ways of living with Buddhism etc but in order to get there, I have to manage my time better and do things.

I failed at that schedule/routine already. I should just make smaller goals and work from there.

The social worker in the psych ward in the independent living unit made me feel bad because she was trying to get me to make goals and I was incapable of making goals. I felt like it was my fault because I made it really hard for her.

this was through the sunroof when I was waiting for the bfs colonoscopy to be done.....

Converting someone else to Apple today. Lmao. First time Apple user. I hyped them up and I’m sure they will be happy! Fiancés mama. She’s going from a tiny plastic cheap 150 Samsung smartphone to an iPhone 11. Yeet!

I’m helping her set it up today. Plus doing other stuff.

Oooo total vibes.

D:

........

I feel somewhat hippie-ish today. Very laidback. I think it’s cuz I got so much sleep. Only 3 hours overnight but I slept 3 longgg times yesterday. Practically the whole day. I woke up, had coffee, took my meds, and had started playing this graffiti game on VR. I’m playing solo mode but you can do multiplayer mode and tag places all over the VR environment. I love graffiti (my dad let me do it on the side of his shed on his land, but it didn’t come out well cuz the type of wood it was) and I love VR, so this is just amazing. You can walk around in the environment and just do it. It feels really real too plus even has different caps, colors, tips, etc like professional graffiti artist. Even a professional graffiti artist, whatever that is, said it’s 100% lifelike from the wind in the environment, to the options of drip caps, colors, and pressure applied on the can. Which is cool.

Plus you can listen to music while u do it. I’ll stream me doing it live sooner or later today on fb.

So bfs mom dyed her hair gray....I think closer to her natural color right now but she had it black before, but the roots were growing out due to covid. I’m genuinely not sure if I should say it looks nice or if she just did it to avoid the roots growing out. Thinking I won’t say anything.

Best not to say anything. That’s along the lines of am I fat or not.

This is when the language barrier is helpful....

Hey guys. Sitting in the living room listening to my energy playlist. Waiting till I can do laundry, someone's using the laundry room now. There's technically 2 washers and 2 dryers in each laundry room (there's one on each floor) so usually it's easy getting it done but they only want one person using them at a time for now with covid going on.

Going to look up drawing tutorials to try. And read my Christmas book. Those are the plans for today.

My new mask should be here between the 25th and 27th. Can't wait to get it, it's so cute.

Not feeling well anymore.

Some people have no respect for another person, but then maybe I don’t either.

Thank you for cheering me up with this lovely picture, Sometimes!

Slept very well, which is nice. Feeling very, very confused and unhappy. Was just told by some of my bipolar friends, whom I greatly trust, that I am apparently on too many or not the right bipolar meds. Or that I should possibly stop them all, which I did once before, resulting in disaster. So, very confused. Feel like a total moron and a bad patient and an idiot and also, kind of like a monster. Other than that, everything is terrific.

What’s going on?

I would not stop them all with Psychosis, been there even with the best care and a long taper it all came back. Only you know what’s best for you...

I think the confusion comes from the duality of your illness...depression and psychosis...in a way they feed into each other, but they have seemingly different needs.

If you trust your pdoc leave this type of decision to them. It’s so much easier than trying to listen to different people with different stories. We’re all different and respond to meds differently so for person A no meds may be a solution but it’s incredibly rare.

Snap me....

Omg some onions cooking....the mom of bf is cooking which is super rare but all I have to eat is salads sigh.....

Thank you for cheering me up with your lovely comment

Well someone else is doing laundry now. I guess I'll try again tomorrow super early in the morning

I always did super early but weekday evenings also seemed to work out....but we had five of each machine so....