Roll Call 169!!

Beautiful...thanks for sharing and happy pre-birthday

Thank you!!!! I love your photographs. You have real talent!

Awwwwwww...

I wonder if it's possible that I can't "DO THINGS" because of anxiety. The vyvanse helps me focus though and when I take anything for anxiety, I'm too tired to do things.

This is very possible...anxiety is a beast.....I can barely drive near the city I have so much anxiety. There are other ways to deal with anxiety though like cbt which works pretty well.

Got the laundry in

That always feels good. laundry is a chore that I hate because no matter how often you wash, there's always something dirty! it's never-ending! But I'm spoiled and my Mom does a fair bit of my washing for me.

Olanzepine and an alprazolam kicked in. I feel much better.

I was freaking out completely. I calmly vacuumed my room, did chores, made my bed, etc...

My mom says that she's borderline having a breakdown. She's very anxious. She said she needs a vacation so we'll be going to Mexico maybe soon.

Took 12.5mg of clozapine this morning, split a 25mg tablet in half. I'll take another one tonight.

My morning dose made me very sleepy

@falcon09 is clozapine an AP? I take my AP at night, but IDK if that is an option for you

It is an AP.

I have to take it morning and night

Going to watch some nature shows/documentaries on Netflix

Thanks. I hope you get used to it and that you don't stay sleepy during the day.

I'm going to start making payments towards my student account balance so I can start taking classes again. I'll put $100 or so a month towards it starting next month

She's beautiful!!

I’m trying to figure out ways to save money. We’re going to buy less fancy foods. Incorporate more meatless meals. Our grocery bill is too high as a household.

For myself I’m not buying booze (going dry for a while for the better), I’m not buying more books, yarn, random ****. Stop buying take out. Even though I don’t buy a LOT but once a week even adds up.

I don’t buy Starbucks that often so that’s not a huge issue. Smoothies and random stuff though need to stop. I got fruit at home.

If I don’t spend any money I can try to catch up on some bills.

Still need money for insurance, phone bill, internet, cable, psych, etc.

Hopefully I can stick with it. I used to be really good at saving money then I started spending like mad.

I feel bad for the kid who keeps on getting stuck with me, mainly because I rode his *** pretty hard on Monday. I had to because I had to teach him how to back roll while getting work done. Painting a black color in the sun, there is no room for mistakes, and he didn't like how i hustled him. Today I was easy on him, and it helped that he knew how to back roll perfectly today because I was so critical Monday. He asked me if we're just going to do exteriors this summer, and i think he asked that because he was deciding whether he was going to stay or not. Painting is a tough job. Tall ladders, snap judgments, we're always racing the paint. It's a brave perfections' career that pays ****.

Yeah once you start spending it’s hard to reverse, I remember when I used to spend $80 every two weeks on groceries...of course now the AP has expanded my grocery bill as well as my waistline.

Good luck though...

That’s gotta be tough....

It’s so hard! I put myself through college for two certificates without going into debt.

Then I went mentally crap and my brain wanted to buy buy buy.

Thank you for the support!

I used to have a very limited diet in grad school, I’d make a big pot of veg soup for the week with v8 as the broth. Then sandwiches and Doritos for lunch. I have no idea if I even had more than a glass of milk for breakfast, I believe I had cereal. Often it’s the diversity of food that adds to the cost. I usually got one bag of salad for the week as well. As a special treat I’d get jr mints from the vending in the afternoon.

Now my goodness..no way I could eat like that because instead of eating to live it’s more like live to eat.

It’s hard and more expensive being gluten free too! There goes all the cheap instant food. Try to eat healthy with fresh fruit and veg.

Once you get used to eating a certain way it’s hard to go back. We’re trying to be creative though.

I"m scared and that's all I have to say right now.

Hugs Erti, hope you feel better soon.

In other news, I can't wait until I get my hair cut on Saturday. It's going to be an extreme before and after because I've kept a beard this entire time and I'm going to trim it short on Friday in preparation for my hair cut. Guys NEVER think like this but I think I'm going to surprise on Monday considering.

I had a couple of messages on the dating apps but I'm not feeling those matches. So I'm debating whether or not to reply... I take these seriously because I am not a cheater. I've never cheated on a woman in any capacity. If I'm going to date a woman I want to be really into her or else I'm just a jerk wasting her time.

I finally got the book i ordered. It took 3 damn weeks! I'm going to spend all weekend reading it.