Roll Call 176

now I'm tired!

I don't know what has happened in the past month or two (or even since I lost my job), but I'm not doing well in every shape and form. There's so much I need to address that I'm not addressing because so much of my life is bombarded by these delusions and anxieties. Basically psychosis symptoms but also anxiety and depression. My anxiety being more of a priority than depression, I think? I'm having health issues, physical health issues, that are just worsening because of my weight and I really need help with my weight but more than just eating bad and the medicine I'm on. I think it's a psychological thing. Like I use food for comfort. My body is in bad shape due to that, but idk how to address it. I don't address it either because I'm so concerned about my anxieties in life. My anxiety controls me.

What kinds of things do you like?

Sigh, my fruity menthol is more like an intense blast of menthol with barely noticeable fruit. It's disappointing but ok.

So.. my strategy of avoiding the cute guy was foiled yet again. Not only is he back in group 2 but he sat right next to me and I stared at him covertly for 15 minutes. Oh well. Maybe it was just a one off smoke break. Anyway, I don't think I have it in me to not notice him. It's ok. It's just part of life here.

HUGS newtus. What kind of coping skills do you have set up to deal with the anxiety? Do you take medication for anxiety? If not, can your pdoc give you some? How about yoga and meditation? Puzzles are supposed to be good for anxiety. Old fashioned jigsaw kind of puzzles. Something about sorting the pieces. Very soothing. Of course I find them downright irritating because I can't figure them out but they are supposed to be soothing. Also like scents like lavender and stuff might help. Praying helps me. Don't know if you are religious. But if not, you might be able to find a saying that you can say over and over that would help. The serenity prayer is a good one. HUGS Kit

That's the thing. With the Schizoaffective most of the stuff that I used to enjoy I don't anymore. Like reading and stuff like that. I just want to sleep all the time and hide out. I already have a weighted blanket so I don't need to ask for one of those. It's like I don't even want anything. Maybe I will just ask them to make a donation to charity instead of giving me a gift.

There was a cute guy when I was IP. I stared at him though I tried not to. He was so handsome.

Thanks. I think my anxiety is past the point of being able to effectively do something like meditation or yoga or even puzzles. I can barely do the stuff I need to and want to do because my anxiety is so severe that I don’t even leave my house anymore, I don’t even go and get groceries anymore, it’s like I’m OK to even be starving as long as I don’t have to leave my house or anything. That’s just an example that has happened before but that is one of the best examples I have because that shows just how bad my anxiety is. I have medicine for anxiety, I have Ativan, but I’m scared to take it too much because I’ve been on Xanax before and I’m scared I’ll get addicted to it or something, but gabapentin hasn’t helped at all for my anxiety.

I think my first think I need to do is probably utilize the medication first at least short term, more often, and then utilize better coping strategies for anxiety. Of course this is all easier said than done but yeah.

But as far as my weight I don’t know what to do I thought about getting noom. that app, noom.

newtus can you talk to your therapist about how bad your anxiety has gotten?

Yea she said to talk to my psychiatrist

Always like that. It's like they like to pass the buck!


Hope you get to feeling more like yourself soon.

Going to read in the living room..

I hope I get 10mg IR dexedrines tomorrow.. If I don't I'll be very sad =]

I have a pillow beside me and my cat sleeps on it beside my head all night now lately.

Things are so not good right now but I don’t know where to start to address anything.

Can you guys help?

Do I start with my mental health or my physical health? Have you guys had any luck with weight loss? What are your guys anxiety coping mechanisms? Like I have so many questions

I didn't wake up until 4:45pm today. And I went to sleep around 11pm last night Now my sleep schedule is all screwed up. I'm gonna have to stay up tonight and tomorrow to reverse it.

Watched mass last night. Was very inspiring.

I'm looking forward to the movie day tomorrow in the community room downstairs. I don't know if I'm more excited about the the whole thing itself or the fact that there's gonna be burgers, hot dogs, and popcorn. Omg it's gonna be so good.

Will probably spend tonight reading my book. I intended on going grocery shopping today, to the pharmacy, and the library but I just slept right through the day. I guess I'll do all that on Thursday.

For me, I kind of do things for both physical health and mental health.

Lately, I started running. It helps my anxiety a great deal.

From a mental health perspective, I have meds that help me a great deal, such as Zyprexa. (I know different meds do different things for different people).

I can understand you when you say you don't want to be on Xanax again. Sometimes people need those kinds of meds for a short time, though, just to cope.

I am finally off of taking benzos consistently. That means I have to do holistic things to help my anxiety. Deep breathing helps. Meditation helps. Exercise helps. Meds help. Therapy helps. Doing soothing things helps, like burning a candle at night or something like that. Doing relaxation stuff helps. I have a tough time implementing positive self-talk, but that is supposed to help, too.

Bad caffeine withdrawal headache. I normally drink like 8 cups of coffee a day but since I slept all day I didn't get any caffeine in my system. Just took some ibuprofen and drinking a coffee now

When you drink coffee, you become very focused, and in fact, the key to creative genius is to be defocused.
Eric Weiner

My anxiety coping mechanisms are the following:
-My faith
-Yoga
-arts and crafts, crocheting, drawing, coloring, all are very relaxing
-reading
-listening to music
-Meditation
-Playing music (personally I like playing violin, ukulele, guitar)
-Cooking -This gives me a sense of accomplishment, and there are many healthy recipes you can find online and try. It feels good when you make something and it turns out delicious.
-Gaming

As for physical health, I try to drink a lot of water. I only drink water and black coffee because calories in drinks can add up fast. and only on special occasions soda. I try to incorporate more vegetables into my diet. I think little changes is the best way to begin. Like if you drink whole milk, maybe try drinking 2% instead. What I try to do is put more of the good stuff in (healthy food). Then slowly cutting back on the unhealthy stuff. One trick I do is eat my vegetables first during a meal then I'm likely to eat less of the more calorie dense stuff on my plate because I'm already starting to get full.

I also try to walk. A lot. And now's the perfect time to do it since the weather is nice and cool and since heat intolerance with APs is so bad in the summer. Having a fitbit helps me, since it motivates me to get more steps in. When I'm at my best I'm getting 10,000 or more steps a day. (I haven't done that much recently but I want to get back on track).

Yoga is good. It's good for strength, flexibility, and relaxation. I really enjoy doing it. I'm not great at it but I found a few videos on YouTube that I enjoy doing so I aim to do that at least 4 or 5 times a week.

I feel hopeless

Thanks so much guys!

Has anyone heard from SP?

Worried.

Why do I get more done at night and feel more active at night? I kinda hate that.

Reality is too weird for me. Feels like psychosis.

Been working.....