Roll Call 182

I feel atrocious. My psychiatrist abandoned me and the new one also won't respond. At least I am in an IOP but I need the meds figured out.

I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow and to the library. I hope I don't have a panic attack while out

i cant wait to hear all the cicadas

I feel weird idk if it's from the abilify shot or stooping 400mg of thorazine in 2 days

I still have to come off the trilafon too but I'll wait until I talk to my doctor for that. It's gonna be a lot of adjustments

I feel better now because of practicing of self-compassion and mindfulness.

2nd day of taking 1000mg NAC pills - Not taking it anymore cuz my heart was beating a little bit faster.

Other than that I feel pretty content.. Ready for what ever life throws at me..

Almost!!

I'm gonna tend to my spiritual mind as well tonight..

Should I call my doctor tomorrow or wait? I have slept 4 hours total since Sunday night

I'm going to try not eating candy/desserts etc for 30 days

I should do the same but I can't resist the candy being locked down on my bed. At least they opened the doors to the lobby and the rest of the bldg.

There was no smoke break yet. I'm getting really worried that they'll eliminate the smoking. I have a lot of really cool juices and hardware to come. Of course I can only keep one 30ml at a time. The thieving here is unbelievable. They take coils and new bottles of juice from my supplies bag.

I'm so bummed about the vape shipping ban. Now it will be harder for people to switch off of cigs and onto vaping. There are a lot of very poisoned souls out there, preventing this alternative to smoking. Everyone is in on the lies, that vaping is bad, and even worse than smoking. The American Heart Association is in on it, there are unfriendly psa's on quitting vaping. It's just so insane.

If I could use my vaporizer I'd eat way less candy. I sure hope they'll let us smoke/vape really soon now.

I can only say what I would do in your shoes, but I'd call honestly. It's not good to be that sleep-deprived.

I am back using MyFitnessPal. I lost a couple of pounds so far. I know that’s probably water weight but I’m still counting it. It’s motivating me to see any change.

Then again, I probably call my docs too much, that's why they fire me.

Just washed the dishes and swept the floor and tidied up and washed out fiancé’s personal whiskey glasses

Already fckd up my food intake

Swept the bathroom and the game room floorboards of pet hair. Took out the trashes.

You've done more than I have in 5 days!! Good job. Feels good to get that stuff done

Going skiing today. Took me a while to fall asleep. I don't feel the greatest. I feel a little sleep deprived. Cognitive impairment - irritable mood.

Talked to the psychologist today. Went well. We talked about obsessive thinking and intrusive thoughts and OCD behaviors. So we're working on them. I've become obsessed with washing my face lately. And I have some stuff I do a lot and have done for years.

That sounds like it was productive

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Had a nice day skiing =] It was snowing heavy up there. It will get 30cm of snow tonight - But in town it's nice. My mom is gonna make a fire outside and invite a friend over - Her only friend that she has left cuz the other two turned on her for cocaine. Very sad.

I took some phenibut cuz it's the only thing that helps with my mood.

I came home and cleaned my room - Eveything is organized.. Not much negative symptoms that I notice.

... I just feel like I'm all dirty. Not just my face. My hair, my hands, the rest of me. Gross gross gross...

Sigh.

It takes a while to build coping techniques. Keep seeing your psychologist - Change meds a little.. Try to be patient ...

I hate Stevia. Random lol

I swept the floors and mopped. Some people are coming over later to hang out. Should be fun