Roll Call 195

They say they're taking her off some medications. And she weighs only 100 pounds.

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Thanks everyone, for your support. It means a lot.

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Considering ordering a pizza later

I can't write. I screw up all the time on repeat. My mom scares me with her control and makes me anxious.

But don't worry, I won't KMS. I'll just drug myself and make some of you hate me. Might as well just stop posting about it.

A cardiac arrest would be my greatest blessing. It already happened in other dimensions so Idk why anyone cares if it happens in this one.

I need healing. I really do. I cried last night but couldn't fully.

I stayed awake until 4am, checking my pulse 50-100 times.

There's more to me than just flawed. I'm trash.

Have you tried a zyprexa? That seems to really help you

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Does anyone have any tips for how to stop picking at my skin, I can only stop when my hands are busy. So when I’m watching a movie or something I tend to exit out and open a bunch of other tabs because it keeps my hands busy and otherwise I’d be picking at my skin and I can only stop if I’m doing something like drawing, writing, playing ukulele, etc. I need something I can do mindlessly while I watch stuff because I end up not able to focus on what I’m watching

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Desoxyn I know you haven’t been doing well lately, I hope you feel better soon, I think your doctor should be helping you more especially if you’ve been feeling like this for awhile now

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Lot of people enjoy knitting or crochet

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I have some crochet supplies but am not sure how to do it , I tried watching videos but kept messing up and doing it wrong. Maybe I just need to practice

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Sorry.. I just had an agitated mind spasm before my mom came home. Things are ok.

My relative has been confused, it is hospice as they first said.

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I want to skip it (10mg) SP

I'll take half... 5mg..

No.. I need to listen to the psychiatrist. I'll take it for now. Next appointment = 7.5mg.

I opened my box of colored pencils and that smell wafted out, I really have to start coloring soon.

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I don't know if starting the new Dahmer series on netflix right before bed was the best idea, now I'm afraid I'll have nightmares. Creepy as hell

What kind of pictures do you like to color? I love coloring, it's very relaxing

I ordered myself a pack of tarot cards that comes with guide book, it's the special edition Hocus Pocus disney movie themed ones. Excited to get them and start learning/messing around with them

Sorry I thought I replied earlier but I guess I got distracted by something, just want to say I'm glad you're doing well and have gotten back into guitar. I've been practicing ukulele a lot and also find it helpful for anxiety. It also gives you a sense of self-esteem when you learn/master a new song

I need a sign one day that I should live. It's just been constant disappointments and dysmorphia of reality. My soul is tired.

If I need to text my sister, I'll do that. She's literally the only one that understands me. My mom does too.. and my dad.. But all in their own ways. My sister is the only one I can talk to about this stuff. She wanted to become a psychiatric nurse because of me - And somehow knows exactly what to say.

It makes me cry..

You should live….no matter what you believe about the after life we’re only given limited time here….

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I cut 4-5 inches off my hair. My hair was really really long so it’s not really a big deal. It was just getting too long and annoying to deal with and going to the hair dresser makes me nervous so I decided to just do it myself. It doesn’t really matter since I always wear my hair up , so it’s not like noticeable too much if it’s not perfectly even. It feels good to have some of it off. I’ll get up the courage to go to the hair dresser eventually and get it cut in the style I want I just don’t feel like it right now. It’s going to be winter so I’m going to be wearing a beanie a lot of the time and my hair will be in a ponytail underneath it so I don’t think it’s that bad

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I feel stupid for cutting my own hair but it's not like I drastically changed it or anything, it was just really getting tiresome trying to brush so much of it every day

My friend cancelled our plans today because he isn't feeling well (mental health-wise) So I pretty much have a whole day to do whatever, I might clean some and watch some stuff.

this coming week is going to be so busy. Volunteering, dentist appointment, building events, grocery shopping, household essential shopping, etc

Then the following week after that I have 3 appointments (another dentist, therapy, and psychiatrist) and I have another volunteer day, plus whatever building events.

So yeah it's kinda gonna be a whirlwind of a couple weeks, more busy than I've been in a long time.

Well, I don't know yet. Back in the 90s I was coloring decks of color-your-own tarot cards, and I loved doing those. One was on glossy cardboard and I bought a bunch of colored Sharpies for that one. My pencils look fantastic and I can't wait to start using them. There is a deck of tarot cards waiting in the box!

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