Roll Call 203

Hey it’s good to see you Wasting Asparagus. I’m still around though I mostly post on the bipolar board now but I can check in here now that someone is posting again

Yeah, good to see you too! I thought this roll call was dead haha. But that's alright, people have their priorities I guess. I would like to start posting more, but who knows. Haha.

And apparently, it's awesome, (sarcasm), but I just "learned" that schizoaffective disorder is a "personality" disorder, so that essentially means it's chronic.

It is chronic but where did you learn that it’s a personality disorder? It’s not even in the same category as one, not even in the DSM. It’s entirely different than a personality disorder.

Also, there are people with co-morbid personality disorders along with a diagnosis of schizoaffective but those are entirely separate things

Schizoaffective is when you have psychotic symptoms that appear outside of mania and /or depression depending whether you’re schizoaffective disorder bipolar type or depressive type

I think I misinterpreted what my psychologist said, perhaps.

Or she is just wrong. I don't think I have any personality disorder to be honest.

I have the worst insomnia. Oh well. It's fine. On a positive note, I get to post here.

I feel so bored so often. I guess sometimes I don't know what to do.

I'm having trouble with motivation as of late. I can't write my novel.

I am not sleeping well at all. Getting up at like before 3 am every day.

Hope you’re able to get some sleep soon WA

Thank you, luckily last night I slept well.

I am good this morning/middle of the night. Just drinking a tea. Chamomile tea I think it's called. I sometimes struggle to come up with the names of things in English. Not sure why, perhaps because I've lived in a foreign country now for about 2 and a half years.

Yikes, I am having doubts again. This is not fun. I hate when I have doubts quite honestly. It's not fun at all. It's like my whole world turns upside down and I don't trust anyone. It's quite difficult to deal with.

This time what triggered it was having switched psychiatrists. I always get down on myself when I make a major decision. I don't know what that means. It just maybe means I am hard on myself when I make big decisions. I don't know. It's really hard.

Hey doing very good, skipped my Invega Trinza injection.

LOOK AT THE STARS THEY ARE COSMIC WONDER IF YOU ARE IN NORTHERN FOREST YOU CAN SEE NOTHING NO CIVILIZATION NO TAXES NO DIGITAL ELECTRICAL FREQUENCIES AND SCREENS AND BANKRUPTCY LIES MANIPULATION DEAD BODIES LYING ON BUILDING PLATFORMS AND THEIR SOULS TRAVEL FREE THROUGH THE ETHER AND PLASMA NO PSYCHIATRISTS, ILLNESS, JUST STATIC RADIATION ALIENS INTERDIMENSIONAL FREE ENERGY MACHINES HUMANITY AND HISTORY TRULY BEING WHO YOU ARE AND RECOGNIZING INFINITY FOR THE REAL PLAYING INSTRUMENTS AND HEARING SOUNDS MUSIC MATHEMATICS WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION THE FACE OF GOD AND BEYOND THAT IS LOVE AND PEACE NOT WAR AND ALL THE HIPPIES WITH UNITY AND TRANSCENDENCE SELF ACTUALIZATION NOT DECAYING ATTEMPTS AT CONNECTION AND RELATIONSHIPS PEOPLE HATING YOU NOT WANTING TO FEEL THEIR OWN EMOTIONS AND NUMB WITH ALCOHOL OR DRUGS JUST FOR PEOPLE TO WIN AND NOT REALIZE THAT WE TRAVEL TOGETHER HERE OUR DESTINATION IS HIGHER AND DEEPER AND COMPLEX IT GOES FAST BUT WE WILL RISE NOT FALL SO DREAM THE UNBELIEVABLE DREAM AND DON'T FORGET THAT PEOPLE LOVE YOU AND YOURSELF WHILE STARING INTO TO EYES OF SATAN CAN BE BANISHED BUT WILL PIERCE YOUR FLESH WITH THE SHARPEST OF KNIVES LIKE IN ISOLATION THAT I WAS IN JUST ROTATING IN UNKNOWN PRAIRIES LANDS PUTTING MY HAND INTO THE RIVER LET IT FLOW LIKE THE TEARS FROM OUR EYES AND WHEN YOU'RE FORGOTTEN AND THREADED THROUGH THE WEAVING OF TIME BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU'RE DOING WHERE YOU'RE GOING HOW YOU'RE THINKING THE WORLD WILL BE BETTER AND WE HAVE TO FIGHT SO THROW YOUR PILLS AWAY, SNORT THE PLANT MATTER FOR NOTHING MATTERS BUT THE ABILITY TO REARRANGE YOURSELF FOR THE GREATER GOOD DON'T LET THOSE BOMBS DROP ANY LONGER EVEN IF WE'RE ALL STARVING AND HAVE NOTHING BUT A $1 DOLLAR BILL AND A DROP OF YOUR ENEMIES BLOOD WILL BE ENOUGH FOR YOU TO CONTINUE ... LIKE SPIDERS SUCKING ON THEIR FEAST, LIKE A RODENT RUNNING FROM THE BEAST THE SATELLITES ORBIT AROUND US THE FLOWERS GROW BENEATH US THE EVIDENCE WAS ALWAYS THERE JUST LOOK AT WHAT WE HAVE DONE NO MERCY BUT IT HAS ONLY BEGUN THE HEART STILL BEATS ITS SWEET JUICES AND WE TAKE ALL OF THE PAIN ANYONE HAS EVER KNOWN AND EVER WILL THE SADNESS THE HAPPINESS CIRCLES EACH OTHER LIKE STARS IN A BLACK HOLE TO OTHER UNIVERSES COLLIDING AND SEEKING TO BE HERE NOW