Roll Call 203

Anyway, the diagnosis really threw me for a loop because it said things like I don't like socializing much, which may or may not be true. I like socializing. It's just hard for me. I don't know. I think diagnoses seem to generalize too much. But that is my personal opinion I suppose.

I've been listening to music I love and dancing some in the morning, which has proven helpful. Also I journal in the morning, it is good to get my thoughts out, but I'm not sure what function that really has if I'm not sharing it with anyone. That's why I decided to get back on here.

On another note, after being in the hospital for 19 days last month, (I know, tell me about it, it was a long time), I am completely off of caffeine from coffee. I still drink maté, which is a tea I like, and I think it has caffeine, but it is not as strong as coffee. So that's a somewhat positive development.

I made buffalo wings in the crockpot yesterday. They came out sooo good. They weren’t like traditional wings cause they didn’t come out crispy but they came out so good and tender and practically fell off the bone. I’m so happy I tried it out, now I know I can make buffalo wings in the crockpot.

Got this cake today at the food pantry, isn't it beautiful. Also got a lot of other good food

I'm a little annoyed because my doctor forgot to send refills for my abilify and now I had to call the clinic today to remind them and they can take up to 48 hours to fulfill a med refill request and it's the weekend and I'm completely out of my abilify probably until it gets refilled and I can get to the pharmacy next monday or tuesday at the latest. So that sucks. I'll be without it for 4-5 days. I have my other meds. But that one is kind of really important. It's not the end of the world but it's not ideal.

Anyway, I'm doing pretty well. I passed my apartment inspection the other day. I have another one coming up on the 28th but that's just like a yearly HUD one not the monthly one. I'm a little nervous but not too bad. I've been doing my best to keep on top of keeping my apartment clean and organized. That's all I can do and try not to worry or stress.

I'm gonna be facilitating a senior coffee day and a senior bingo day at my apartment complex for the senior people in the building. It's part of me trying to socialize more. I think they asked me to do it becuase they feel I'll have an easier time socilazing with people older than me than people in my age range. I feel more anxious around people in my age range (30). Idk why. I feel less self conscious around older people.

My kindle fire decided to be stupid and turn my screen blurry. Idk what's wrong with it. I tried reseting it and powering on/off, factory resetting etc nothing seems to be fixing it. I think it's a firmware issue. It just randomly happened last night out of nowhere. It's a kindle fire 11th generation. Which sucks cause I love reading on my kindle but I still have the kindle app on my iphone and though it's not quite as nice as reading with an actual kindle I can still read all my books on there. It's a good alternative to scrolling social media, now I open my kindle app more frequently and am reading all the time. The whole hour I was waiting at the food pantry to open I stood there reading a book on my kindle on my phone. I may eventually have to replace my kindle someday though if it doesn't fix itself. But that will be down the road when I can afford to.

Oh I forgot to mention, I recently was approved for a survivors benefit from social security due to my mom having worked and also been on SSI as well. So I now get an additional $606 a month on top of my regular ssi $943 a month. So my income went up quite a bit. My rent will increase some as a result but I still make out better than I was before this. So that's nice. Next goal is to become my own payee sometime in september.

I also got back into gaming, so I've been playing a lot of games. Right now on my Xbox I'm playing Life is Strange, on my Nintendo Switch I'm playing the first Kingdom Hearts game and the game Calico which is like a cozy game where you run a cat cafe. And a game on my phone called Wylde Flowers which is a ton of fun too

I have my volunteer shift with the rescue cats on sunday. Other than that not much. Making bacon cheddar turkey burgers tomorrow, with lettuce, tomato, cheese, onion, and pickles, ketchup and mustard. Really excited about that.

Just gonna be reading, playing games, exercising, and practicing ukulele and violin

My anxiety has been off the charts lately so I'm using every coping skill I can think of to deal with it

I started learning how to crochet, I feel like it might help my anxiety. I spent 45 minutes doing a long chain today and started tryin to to do the one underneath that then I messed up but I’ll watch more videos and look at my crochet guidebook and hopefully get better over time

This is what I’ve got so far. I know there’s a lot of mistakes

I made those burgers tonight. They are soooo good.

The past two days have been good. Minimal anxiety so it’s a nice break from that. Tomorrow I have my volunteer shift with the rescue kitties.

I made a crochet bracelet today. It was my first “project”. Though it wasn’t much. But it was the first actual thing I’ve made that was a thing.

I’ve been reading a lot. I got on the treadmill today for 30 minutes. Trying to do that most days.

I slept really good last night plus I took a nap earlier today.

My 2nd project today. A teeny tiny hat for cats

I have a good idea. Once I get better at crocheting I’m gonna start crocheting cat toys and blankets for the rescue cats where I volunteer