They're coming back!

My hallucinations haven't returned full force since I've been off my meds but I can feel them coming. The voices have already begun and my paranoid delusions have returned full force. I can no longer drive down the road without knowing they are trying to trap me. The police, the military, underground secret forces that eliminate intelligent free thinkers it doesn't matter...I can feel their traps attempting to ensnare me. I know my thoughts aren't real but I can't help that they exist. Where do I go now?

breathe... sit.... find peace and inner strength....... center and believe good thoughts about yourself and you surrounding...... drink some water.......

sit, and breathe..... and be mellow....... : )

then, the thoughts may cme more slowly or one at a time?

change the time to your time..... your heartbeat time and breathe with that for a little bit.....

best i can do for you right now.... hope it helps.... take it easy...... think good thoughts : )

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The Paco: My hallucinations haven't returned full force since I've been off my meds but I can feel them coming.

Are you intentionally trying to withdraw from your meds, Paco? If so, it can be helpful to know that withdrawal may include a return of psychotic symptoms. In the Resources Links there is a guide on safely withdrawing from psychiatric medication but I would consider that to be a guide only. Ideally, you would have a professional caregiver you could work with who would help you through the withdrawal process. What's also helpful is to solicit the support of anyone you live with or within your social circle, such as a spouse, family or friends.

Note that there are also some articles regarding voice hearing and support groups in the Resource area that may be helpful to you as well.

It's also possible you've chosen to go off your meds because you're not sure you should be on them in the first place or because you felt they weren't helping you. None of us here are doctors of course, nor do we know who you are or where you live -- we're not in a position to force you to take medication you don't want to take. But hopefully, we can assist you in making wise choices for yourself.

Maybe it would help if you provided a bit more background about your decision to go off meds.

I took myself off my meds because in order to stay on them I had to attend different sessions of group therapy that didn't really apply to me and they were interfering with my work schedule. I have to attend these group meetings in order to get the state to fund my meds and counseling but I also have to work so I pretty much had to choose which knife I was going to cut my throat with.

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I pretty much had to choose which knife I was going to cut my throat with.

Yes, it doesn't seem like you had many options to choose from. Although I think choosing to work is certainly your best option to choose. My own experience has been that working can help a person redevelop their sense of self while also providing important connections to other people and the larger world.

I suppose my next question would be, did you find medication to be helpful? Some people do identify it as helpful to them, others don't. If you did, then I think it would be good if we could help you explore some options for getting back on meds while still maintaining employment.

Also, in the links I recommended to you before there is a tool there called epocrates. It's an online resource as related to various psychiatric meds. I would suggest that you research your own meds including side effects of withdrawal. Some of what you're currently going through may be related. Knowing that might help you get through some of the more difficult times.

It will likely also be to your benefit to research alternative methods of coping because medication may not be an option for you if your only choices are to take it and not work versus working.