[Typo]

I'm so close to just losing control..I don't know what to do. I'm so scared to go to anyone. Everything is getting worse and I feel more and more detached from reality and people. I'm so scared to go to my parents mostly because I'm convinced they are out to get me and I'm scared if I told them they would be dispointed in me and ashamed. I am also scared if I go see a therapist that they'll send me to a hospital..I don't know what to do..or what to expect if I go see a therapist..someone help..I need advice!!

[nowheretorun]

try to calm yourself sparrow.... you think best from a calm and centered disposition....

its likely that no one is out to get you.. but you may feel fear and distrust right now....

breathe deep and collect your thoughts..... what do you believe is best for you?

a therapist is recommended but i dont feel qualified to advise on which? so, can yo read some of the other posts or review the information here at PC?

http://psychcentral.com/search/?Matc...=Psych+Central

good wishes to you....

[spiritual_emergency]

<blockquote>
Hello Silversparrow:
It's always a bit difficult to know what to say to someone in your position because the thing is, you're where you are and I'm where I am. I can't see you or the space you're in, all that I (or anyone else) has to go on in your words.

Maybe I'll share a story with you...
<blockquote>A few nights ago I had a dream that some demons were calling me. It was as if they were in my cellar and were being very insistent. I felt drawn, down the steps, toward their voices. Then, I could see them: nasty little demon faces and nasty demon hands pressed up against a plate of glass -- the only thing that separated us. For a moment, I felt sucked into what they were saying and began to feel panicked and overwhelmed. Then some other voice in me, some other much stronger voice said: No, I am NOT going to feed you! And I realized that's what I had been doing -- feeding them with my fear.

I stuck my arm into the earth of the cellar and found a handle. I pulled on it hard, and the demons came out, all wrapped up in a chest made of glass. I then dragged the glass chest over to a table in my basement. I heaved the chest up on the top and then pulled a cord to turn on the light that hovered over the table. I made a nasty little face myself then, as if to say to the demons, "There! Take that!!"

I was a bit scared by what I'd done so I left them alone for a while, but I kept watching them from the other side of the room. I noticed that they were shrinking and getting smaller in the light. After awhile, all the demons were shrunk down to nothing but a single seed. But the weird thing was, as they had been shrinking in size, plants began to grow in the room they were in. Green plants! Healthy plants! Beautiful plants! I liked the plants but I wasn't sure what to do with the little demon seed. I decided to leave it sitting in that glass chest, on the table, with the light shining into it. And I also decided that I better be careful to not feed it.</blockquote>

<hr width=100% size=2>

I'm not sure why that dream/story came to me just now but I think maybe it fits into this space just fine.

[Typo]

Thank you nowheretorun and spirtual_emergency. Last night was not a good one I was fighting with my parents and under alot of pressure. I made it through with just a minor breakdown..this brought about some good and bad things. My parents realized something was wrong and agreed to find a thearpist..unfortunatly they think I'm making up my problems with hallucanations and parinoa. My mom keeps making fun of me for it and makes snide comments to my dad everytime I leave the room about how I'm overacting to stuff and how I'm doing it just for attention. That really hurts me because I have rarely lied to my parents in my 18 years of life and have never faked an illness...or done anything to make her belive such anything. I'm trying to explain to them that stress and their constant explosive fighting makes things worse for me but they don't belive me. I'm glad I'm getting help though and I want to give thanks to everyone who has helped me gather courage to do so..this place is amazing and it is so great to have a support group to turn to.