[MrsLovett]

Hello everyone,

I haven't been to Psych Central in a while, but it's been a crazy while.. My main concern is that I talk to myself A LOT. And I answer myself. In private as well as in public. Even at work, though I try to squelch it. I usually am very mean to myself, telling myself to shut the H*LL up, but that's another story. I don't hear voices, but I was looking at some websites and have some other traits like being VERY Paranoid of every little thing, and being very disorganized with thoughts and in general everyday life (though I love to organize OTHER people's things... I have OCD as well.. lucky me).

The thing is, I was looking around, and I'm already taking some of the meds they suggest for schizophrenia, like seroquel and abilify if I am correct. I also take about 9 other prescription meds. I can't remember all of them right now, but if you want a list, let me know and I'll get off my lazy butt and get it

So this whole talking to myself thing has me rattled. I just wish I would stop. It's not normal and I don't want to pass it on to my nieces (I can't have any children due to illness). My nieces and nephew are my life! I don't want to hurt them in any way.

also, I'm going to take the sanity test again today and see if I fare any better. don't remember what I got last time though!

MrsLovett

[psm1776]

Who prescribed the meds for you? What was their diagnosis?

Do you have pdoc?

If you don't I would suggest that would be a place to start.

No one can really diagnosis you - but FWIW; talking to yourself may be a nuisance (or a sign of eccentricity etc.), but it's not a mental illness. You can't pass that on to anyone else - it may just be a quirk.

[MrsLovett]

I have a psychiatrist, and I have several diagnoses. Eating Disorder (used to be Anorexia, now just stupid old EDNOS), depression, anxiety, insomnia, something with my personality but I'm not sure what that one's called... you know... i've been seeing him for soooooo long that I've forgotten all of my diagnoses. I should ask him next time I see him. I think the primary one is my Eating Disorder because that's all we talk about. that, and not getting enough sleep. But I"ll ask, and write it down.

MrsLovett

[ScaredSad]

Hi Mrs. Lovett, sorry you are struggling with stuff right now.

Diagnoses change over time, so it's possible that you may have had many over time and you have one or even none as of today.

That being said... symptoms can evolve too depending on how you are responding to treatment. The tricky thing about mental health is that very few symptoms are unique to one particular disorder.

Diagnosis of any disorder, but especially psychotic disorders, requires a thorough understanding of someone's psychosocial history (recent and past), family medical history, current symptoms, and likely observation over several sessions to confirm any hints about which disorder most likely is causing the disturbances for the client.

I agree with the above poster that your pdoc would be the best place to get this answer. You are lucky if you have a good history with him/her... they might have tremendous insight into your challenges and can fit your symptoms into an area that make sense for you. I'd caution you, though, that it's possible that your pdoc will say they don't know if you have schizophrenia. That's a good answer... that means they need more information. It's great to have clinicians who will consider multiple sources before giving you a label that could trail you for life.

Good luck with figuring things out. I hope you find some relief soon.

[SpottedOwl]

(((MrsLovett)))

I don't know about a diagnosis, but I don't think that talking to yourself is necessarily a bad thing.

After a very traumatic period of my life, I started talking to myself. I was worried that it meant I was 'crazy', so I tried to stop it. I finally asked my therapist about it, and he encouraged me to talk in private if I wanted to. He said there was nothing wrong with it.

Once I was able to accept that it might be a natural part of my healing, the idea of talking to myself became less scary. After several months, it ended up stopping without me having to force it to stop.

Try to be kind to yourself. It pains me to think of you telling yourself to 'shut up'. Sometimes our minds are like those finger traps -- the more we fight against something, the stronger it holds on. Try saying 'I Love you', the next time you feel the urge to talk to yourself.

[MrsLovett]

I just took the Sanity Test and Scored a 194 I believe. Should I print out the results and take them to my pdoc? I'd like to take them to my therapist too. she's pretty smart about those kinda things. I forget what I scored for the schizophrenia part since I don't have it in front of me and my memory is shot.

Thank you for saying such nice thingsI have a hard time saying that I like myself. I have horrible self esteem. We're on that both in therapy and at home.



MrsLovett

[Simcha]

Originally Posted by MrsLovett

I just took the Sanity Test and Scored a 194 I believe. Should I print out the results and take them to my pdoc? I'd like to take them to my therapist too. she's pretty smart about those kinda things. I forget what I scored for the schizophrenia part since I don't have it in front of me and my memory is shot.

Thank you for saying such nice thingsI have a hard time saying that I like myself. I have horrible self esteem. We're on that both in therapy and at home.



MrsLovett

Hi MrsLovett

I'd suggest just being as frank and open with your therapist as you were with us here today, scary as that can be in person. If you trust your T and have seen progress with him/her, then you will find a way to open up. I'd also ask your T what it is you are diagnosed with, and what your T's recommendations are. Does your T collaborate or communicate with your Pdoc? In other words, does the left hand know what the right hand is doing? I ask because you sound overwhelmed by all of this, and I think I would be too.

Nine medications is an awful lot for mental health alone; it's important to know what you are diagnosed with and what you are taking and how much. That way, you can evaluate what works and what doesn't, and discard what doesn't. A lot of times you don't need long-term medication for anxiety disorders (and they are usually contraindicated for the long-term anyway). If you haven't seen any real progress with your current T and Pdoc, I'd consider why that is; is it because they aren't providing the right sort of treatment? Is it because you are over-medicated? Is it because you don't see your T frequently enough? All of these are good questions to consider.

I would like to think that if I had Schizophrenia, my T would tell me. (and my T would). Take care!