I am really hurting here. I'm feeling too depressed with school now. I'm unmotivated, and my grades are ok, but I feel (and fear) they are slipping (not to a failing point though). I tried to switch out of my classes, but I can't. I'm late to school all the time and now I have to get up early just so I can be on time and yes, I do make it on time now. I was so late once, it counted as a cut, and now i have a 2 hr. detention..

I can't work well anymore. I took a quiz today and I just couldn't focus and I think I failed it..I was allowed to use notes too. I just couldn't focus on my work or whatever i read...

I want to get the heck out of school, I don't know how much longer I can stand being here. I'm not happy and I can't feel the love either (it doesn't matter if i get a hug or smile either)

What am I going to do, it's only November/December?

[SweetandTrue]

Originally Posted by opaquemind0

I am really hurting here. I'm feeling too depressed with school now. I'm unmotivated, and my grades are ok, but I feel (and fear) they are slipping (not to a failing point though). I tried to switch out of my classes, but I can't. I'm late to school all the time and now I have to get up early just so I can be on time and yes, I do make it on time now. I was so late once, it counted as a cut, and now i have a 2 hr. detention..

I can't work well anymore. I took a quiz today and I just couldn't focus and I think I failed it..I was allowed to use notes too. I just couldn't focus on my work or whatever i read...

I want to get the heck out of school, I don't know how much longer I can stand being here. I'm not happy and I can't feel the love either (it doesn't matter if i get a hug or smile either)

What am I going to do, it's only November/December?

opaquemind0, are you in high school? Are the people there aware of your condition? Is there a counselor there you can talk to? What about your parents? It's sound like your depression is interfering with you daily life and that's went it becomes a problem you need to seek help for. Good luck, and welcome to PC, there's lots of support here!

Thank you, and yes, i am in hs but nobody knows how much pain i've been going through..
I've tried my counselor, but I never seemed to get my point across enough for her to be concerned. I'm finished trying. I dont want the school to help me, i've been emotionally suffering there, so why would i get help there?

As for my parents..it's a long story, but they've contributed with my feelings being so low..but I would never go to a doctor and say these things because I still love them...which is why I feel so stuck..
WHO DO I TURN TO?

[SweetandTrue]

Originally Posted by opaquemind0

Thank you, and yes, i am in hs but nobody knows how much pain i've been going through..
I've tried my counselor, but I never seemed to get my point across enough for her to be concerned. I'm finished trying. I dont want the school to help me, i've been emotionally suffering there, so why would i get help there?

As for my parents..it's a long story, but they've contributed with my feelings being so low..but I would never go to a doctor and say these things because I still love them...which is why I feel so stuck..
WHO DO I TURN TO?

opaquemind0, depression is neither your fault nor your parents. I'm not sure what your situation is or how your parents treat you, but I'm sure that if they (or anyone else that cares about you) knew you hurting, they would want to help. You need to see a professional opaque, whether that's your doctor or someone at school, or maybe you can start by talking to someone in your church (if you attend one) or if you have a coach or some kind of mentor or teacher you are close with and trust. You have options! You could even talk to someone anonymously online or over the phone if you're feeling really bad. Don't give up! You need to be an advocate for your own health!

i wish i were old enough..i definitely go for help on my own and speak to a doctor.
You're right, I do have options...but which person to turn to...I just don't know.

y'know, I think i'm just nervous, I don't know what'll I'll say if I speak up. i'm not one who would be so upfront. i'll become so emotional and stuff (it's happened before).

[SweetandTrue]

Originally Posted by opaquemind0

i wish i were old enough..i definitely go for help on my own and speak to a doctor.
You're right, I do have options...but which person to turn to...I just don't know.

y'know, I think i'm just nervous, I don't know what'll I'll say if I speak up. i'm not one who would be so upfront. i'll become so emotional and stuff (it's happened before).

Trust me I know how you feel. I used to have the same problem. I didn't want to talk about it with anyone because just thinking about it I would burst into tears - sobbing tears. It's scary, especially with a stranger and even sometimes with someone you know because they just had no idea. But it's OK to be emotional. You're being brave just by posting here so I think you have it in you to be brave enough to tell someone! Just be honest about what you've been feeling and experiencing, make sure you make it a point that whatever is going on with you in interfering with your daily life, including school. That part of it is very important for them to know. I don't know enough to suggest who you could turn to, but I do hope you can think of someone, even if you aren't that close (like an aunt or something) don't let your depression fool you into thinking that there's no one you can turn to!

Thank you so much! you've made so much everything easier and I will think about what you said when I talk. I will try to find someone (hopefully really soon). (What i still can't believe is how long this took me to finally speak out. (I first became depressed in 08..))

((((((SweetandTrue))))))

[Bill3]

I'm really glad that you could speak out here.

opaquemind0, maybe you could print this thread and show it to your parents or the person you talk to? Just a thought.

Thanks TheByzantine, I printed this out (but i still have to talk to someone..).

ps: thanks to all the advice, i went into school with a smile and i had a pretty nice day today.

[Itzjustme]

im sorry....have u talked about it to the counselor at school, im sure they can help you

take care

Originally Posted by opaquemind0

I am really hurting here. I'm feeling too depressed with school now. I'm unmotivated, and my grades are ok, but I feel (and fear) they are slipping (not to a failing point though). I tried to switch out of my classes, but I can't. I'm late to school all the time and now I have to get up early just so I can be on time and yes, I do make it on time now. I was so late once, it counted as a cut, and now i have a 2 hr. detention..

I can't work well anymore. I took a quiz today and I just couldn't focus and I think I failed it..I was allowed to use notes too. I just couldn't focus on my work or whatever i read...

I want to get the heck out of school, I don't know how much longer I can stand being here. I'm not happy and I can't feel the love either (it doesn't matter if i get a hug or smile either)

What am I going to do, it's only November/December?

[Bill3]

"i went into school with a smile and i had a pretty nice day today."

one thing though: i've been feeling happy these past few days, only mildly sad, should i still tell someone? i feel like i'm standing on the middle of a see saw, and i'm not either too happy or too sad. but i don't know how long this will last...a day, week, month, longer???
(i remember last year i was the same way but i somehow returned being sad...)

this is insane...what will someone say when they read this and if i'm in an ok mood?

[mlpHolmes]

Dearest Opaque,

I've taught a lot of years, over 8,000 students. If I can help you plz just PM me I'll be glad to just listen what you need to say or get off your mind. No problem.

Much Love,
Holmes

[SweetandTrue]

Originally Posted by opaquemind0

one thing though: i've been feeling happy these past few days, only mildly sad, should i still tell someone? i feel like i'm standing on the middle of a see saw, and i'm not either too happy or too sad. but i don't know how long this will last...a day, week, month, longer???
(i remember last year i was the same way but i somehow returned being sad...)

this is insane...what will someone say when they read this and if i'm in an ok mood?

opaque, don't fall for that trap! That is a mistake I made for years, I would go through this awful cycle where when I felt OK or even good I would convince myself that I didn't need help and then when I felt awful I felt helpless anyway so I didn't see the point. Again, don't let the depression fool you! If you are having a couple or good days or weeks, etc chances are that if you don't get the help you need, you will feel badly again. If you talk to a professional they will be very aware of the fact that these things can go through cycles so don't worry about that.

[turquoisesea]

opaquemind0, I think Sweet and True is right, depression has its ups and downs. I'm not saying you have depression, but it sounds like you're at the least going through a rough patch.

There will ALWAYS be ups and downs in your mood, in anyones mood. In this case, I would be more worried about how LOW the mood can go (it seems it is more extreme than others when you are sad) and how much these feelings are affecting your school and your life in general (again, it seems like these feelings are getting in the way of these things).


It's GREAT that you've had an ok few days. But it's NOW when you feel BETTER that you are best able to get the help you need. Sometimes at least for me when I'm the lowest its the hardest to talk, and the hardest to get the ENERGY to seek help.

So in my opinion (whatever that's worth) I think you should seek help now. The sooner you catch something like this the faster you'll recover

I have major depressive disorder, when I had my first major episode I waited until it was very late to get the attention I needed. I ended up needing to take time off of school, from this experience I realize how important it is to voice what you're feeling and seek help earlier rather than later.


Here's an example. Lets say you're coughing up icky stuff, feel run down, and you feel a bit warm. But you figure "it's not that bad, I'll wait till later or maybe won't go to the doctor". You go about your daily life just wishing it away.... the likelihood is that it will get worse. Sure there's a chance it will just go away, but maybe it's Bronchitus that needs antibiotics. By not going to the doctor, you would have made things worse and the illness to last longer. By going to the doctor you could have gotten better sooner, and the worst that could happen is for hte doctor to say "don't worry about it, if it gets worse let me know "

I hope this made sense, and I hope you feel better soon. *sends hugs* I'm here to listen if you need

[Bill3]

opaquemind0, do you have a possible someone in mind that you could talk to?

sweetandtrue & turquoisesea: thank you for the sound advice and great example.
bill3: not as yet, but thanks to the advice, i should make my move right now..

...the road ahead of me doesn't look easy.....but anyway...
...i talked to someone.

(thank you to everyone for their kind words and support )

[SweetandTrue]

Originally Posted by opaquemind0

...the road ahead of me doesn't look easy.....but anyway...
...i talked to someone.

(thank you to everyone for their kind words and support )

Great! Thanks for keeping us updated!

[Bill3]

Thanks for letting us know.

[turquoisesea]

[embracinglife]

Originally Posted by opaquemind0

Thanks TheByzantine, I printed this out (but i still have to talk to someone..).

ps: thanks to all the advice, i went into school with a smile and i had a pretty nice day today.

Glad you're feeling a little better. I'm sorry for your struggles, I've struggled with depression too, I'm in college, and in my last year of undergrad, and believe me, this summer was so hard and then the first week of classes I got so overwhelmed that I wanted to drop out and not be in school anymore...but I'm so glad that I started reaching out to people and that I didn't drop out of school, because now I know that I'll get a much better job if I stay in school. I know school can be really rough sometimes, especially high school, because maybe other people your age dont' really know how do deal with whatever it is you are going through.

Be proud of yourself for reaching out to people on here, and I'm glad that your taking small steps to maybe seek some professional help. Believe me, those professionals are trained, and hopefully they are caring and also really do want to help you, even though the journey can be tough. It's a life long journey, so hang in there.

[Utah Fan 1]

School, is really hard but..You'll get through it. Maybe ask the teacher to let you retake the test, when you are more focused. talk to your doctor about the way your feeling. Just don't give up hope. I hope this helps, if need someone to talk to I'm always around. have a good night. Utah Fan 1

Good for you, opaquemind. Good for you!