[FloatLikeAButterfly]

My mom is ill and has been most of my life (im 15). I have had to wipe her, get her food, bathe her, and take care of her......but i think that has left me without anyone to care for me. Im fifteen and time is running out for me to get the motherly attention i crave.

In school, ever since i was in third grade i have searched for mother figures. Most the time they were my strong, independent, beautiful, intelligent teachers who looked after me.

Most the time, as the years progress my teachers and i have moved on from eachother- and it's realllly hard. Its horrible to get so close to someone then have them "replaced" or never to see them,- to grow
apart....and i happens almost yearly- now per semester.

I am really terrified about this happeneding again. This year i am really close to my one teacher, i tell her just about everythingg. I look up and admire her so much- i even wish she was my mother, and that i was her daughter. My heart skips when i see her smiling at me in the hall, and when i am around her i feel such love and secureness it makes me feel whole- it isnt weird or anything....actually its nurturing i guess.

The semester is changeing and i wont see her as much, if at all, and talking through e-mail isnt the same.....i cant lose another one of my role models- expesially not this one. I think this time i'll go crazy.....but regardless i still feel crazy- this doesnt happen to my peers. I know feeling this is inappropriate, i mean teachers are there to teach not to parent....but i can't help how i feel- ive tried to stop and not open my heart, to not let this happen but i cant, maybe i need it.. id ont know. I feel so bad about it....maybe i should post this under relationships- but it is school related.

Any feedback or advice will be highly appreciated.

[Perna]

Hi, FloatLikeAButterfly. I think your feelings are more common than you think, especially now when you are beginning to start work on becoming an adult yourself.

I would see if you could talk to a counselor about them, get some help and support your mother is not able to give to you and your having to take on the role of supporting her, as a child. See if the school counselor or your medical doctor can get you in a program where you will have better female support and mentoring that will continue for a few years as you mature instead of be "make-shift" like you are attempting with your teachers.

[FloatLikeAButterfly]

Originally Posted by Perna

Hi, FloatLikeAButterfly. I think your feelings are more common than you think, especially now when you are beginning to start work on becoming an adult yourself.

I would see if you could talk to a counselor about them, get some help and support your mother is not able to give to you and your having to take on the role of supporting her, as a child. See if the school counselor or your medical doctor can get you in a program where you will have better female support and mentoring that will continue for a few years as you mature instead of be "make-shift" like you are attempting with your teachers.

Well, i dont know if i can talk to any councelors....but that would be great to have a mentor. I just wish that my current teacher could be my perminant one..shes different than the rest- i feel like she can relate more. but she is my teacher, and probably doesnt want to be anything more (like a mentor)

[caffeine_nerdiness]

I tend to bond quickly and deeply with my teachers and totally sympathize with the fear of losing contact and closeness with one you particularly like. When it comes to whether or not the teacher would be bothered by your desire to maintain close contact, I very much doubt that she would be disturbed. Those who love teaching generally go into that particular profession because they're intrinsically driven to help young people. I think you should approach her and ask if the school has any sort of mentor program or if she would be willing to be your mentor. I promise she won't find the question strange. If not, then go to the main desk of the admin office in your school and ask what options are available to you in terms of counseling through the school. Ask if they participate in a mentor program too. Also, I would strongly encourage you to befriend the school's librarian. If the librarian is not female, still give it a try. Librarianship requires a masters's degree, so librarians are generally extremely educated and highly equipped to help. And the great thing is this: If they don't know something, they'll find out and enjoy the process! Librarians never get tired of questions/helping/talking, I promise. The other great thing is this: The librarian isn't going to stop being your librarian at the end of the semester.