[thenightsky]

I have a very low immune system and am constantly getting sick. I have missed so Nuh school already this year and we've only been in for 6 weeks. Every year I get so sick. I have bad kidneys and get infections and stones all the time. This all poorly affects my schoolwork. It's my junior year and I'm so scared in going to fall behind and won't get into the college of my dreams. I feel like it would be better if I just died. Everything in the future will be affected by my illnesses. It's been that way my whole life, I've tried so hard to build up my immune system but nothing has ever worked. I take vitamins every day. Everything I do is going to end in failure because there will never be a way for me to perform to the best of my abilities. This is why I feel that there is just no point in me doing anything and I should just die. I need to get over this slump I'm in. Does anyone have any advice? Help!!

[Jan1212]

Have you been going to the doctor's? Every year of these infections can lead to something serious, your doc should have caught that by now, I am sorry you are going through this but I wanted you to know how important it is to seek help

[equive]

Is your school aware of the health issues that you are having? Rather than struggling to do the same amount of schoolwork that kids without those issues do, perhaps they could work with you to create a plan that would be more manageable for you while you are dealing with these health issues - an IEP, or individualized education plan, as it's called in some places.

Maybe they could give you more time on assignments, or maybe they could give you more assignments that could be accomplished independently, at home, on days when you had to take off for physical health problems.

If you haven't looked into that, I would seriously consider discussing it with the guidance counselor at your school and possibly some of your teachers. Even if perhaps you were not eligible to create a formal IEP for some reason, they could make informal arrangements with you where they could.

Maybe you could come early / stay late at the school and meet with some teachers individually on days when you were able to come in to review what you may have missed on days you didn't.

Maybe you could consider attending summer school - I know no one likes to waste their summer in school, but it might be a great way to make up credits you missed and get more individual attention than you are getting now.

Maybe you could also look into online high school education programs - I don't know anything about them, but I hear they have them now and I see advertisements for them sometimes on TV and the internet.

Maybe you could hire a private tutor to work with you in the evenings / on the weekends.

I also agree with the person above to try seeing your doctor and seeing if they can recommend any way for you to be healthy enough to attend school on more days.

Those are just a few suggestions. I think it's great that you are thinking about your future and that you posted here for advise suggests to me that you are really serious about getting into the college of your dreams and doing whatever it takes. It seems hard and sometimes even unattainable now, but try not to let your illness or your frustration get in the way of doing what you have to do.

When you are feeling like you want to give up or would just be better off dead, remember that you made it to your junior year already and that that is farther than some people ever make it in their lifetime! I know that you can find a way to do it. Just don't give up. Everyone on psychcentral is here to offer you encouragement when you are feeling down and you are welcome to private message me if you need any support.

[Travelinglady]

I agree with the other folks. How do YOU know things can't get better and your life will be a failure? Are you psychic? So, you might not get into the "school of your choice." Not everybody who is successful in this world went to that school, did they?

I would check about special help due to illness and keep seeking a diagnosis as to why you have the immune issues.

By the way, cognitive-behavioral therapy can be very helpful. Okay? You can have a good life ahead of you.

[Perna]

How hard it must be to feel so ill and hopeless all the time. Are you ill in the summer, too, or just when school is in session? Have you thought of going to school at home and working on your illnesses; it might be easier to work if you were not so tightly scheduled and could "go" to class in the evenings or middle of the night, times you felt better, etc. That wouldn't affect what college you could get into and maybe in the next couple of years, working with your doctor(s) your health issues could improve.

[Vibe]

Equive has some good suggestions. I definitely think the school needs to work with you on these issues rather than just failing you. Have a talk with them and have your parents have a talk with them too. There should be options.

I got really depressed in high school and missed a ton of school. As a result, I graduated a year late. However, I took some courses at the career center during my last year, and this dramatically effected my thinking and influenced my life. I got into decent colleges in the area and it actually benefited my life rather than ruining things.

However, my depression issues didn't go away. The problems that hurt my high school career also hurt my college career. I wish that I had learned to talk with faculty and advocate for myself earlier, but I eventually did learn how to manage school and health. We all have issues and they often seem insurmountable. I know it can feel impossible... But there is a way. Don't give up. You'll figure out how to manage things for your situation too. The best advice I can give is to be proactive on this. And never, ever think that just because you've had problems in the past that you can't rectify things and make it work in the future.

[Travelinglady]

Hope I didn't sound too harsh, thenightsky! I was just trying to help put things in perspective. I hope you'll be on the mend soon from this immune-system problem, so school issues won't need to be a concern.

[asp1079]

I empathize with you nightsky... I have fibromyalgia, SAD and chronic depression along with BPD. Having the physical health issues makes life and especially school and work hell for me at times. I already have missed at least 7-8 days of school due to chronic fatigue and severe fibro + panic attacks and I'm feeling guilty, embarrassed and misunderstood just like you. So you are not alone. Every Sept-Oct my condition worsens due to my depression worsening from SAD. The fibro and mental/emotional health seem to all be connected. Worse moods means worse potential fibro.

But the thing is, you are not in control of these illnesses... and you deserve to get some slack for what you have. In my case I got doctor's notes and excuses and doctors communicating with my school to say I am absent sometimes from my fibro and must be taken out of some rigid standards from it. As others commented here, you are deserving of something like an IEP to accommodate you for these illnesses. You aren't being lazy. You aren't not trying. You are ill, and illness is NOT equated with laziness or slacking off in my book. So please have a higher opinion of yourself, try not to feel as guilty - be more assertive and try to get the standards you deserve in school, since everyone with disabilities big and small deserve an education!!

Good luck. Please talk to me anytime about this if you feel like it.

[thenightsky]

thanks! i miss a lot due to anxiety and depression too, and my a.d.d. adds to my struggle. its embarrasing. i have worked with the school counselors on making plans and working on study techniques to help me through the rest of high school since freshman year.