[uglyheroes]

i went to community college right after high school but after half a semester, things in my life were out of control and i had attempted suicide. i knew at that point that school was not important and that i had bigger things to deal with so i withdrew from school. only problem is that i didn't deal with my problems at all. i drowned my sorrows with alcohol and other drugs instead of working on myself. its been over 5 years since then and as of today i have a little over 6 months sober. i got to a point in my sobriety (the pink cloud stage as they call it) where i thought everything was going great. nothing could bring me down. i felt invincible. i was always very skeptical about going back to college up until this point - it became something i really wanted to do to better my life.

i applied and now i'm registered and all set to start in september, only problem is that the pink cloud stage that i referred to has long since passed. although i've managed to stay sober i feel as though i've taken a huge step back as far as my depression is concernced. i'm starting to wonder if i'm really ready to go back to school, if i can handle it this time around. i'm very concerned now that i'm starting to second guess myself but i'm going to give it my best shot, despite my self-defeatist nature and motivation issues.

[Perna]

You can't know if you don't try. You do know you probably want to go to school, so you have to keep going that way until you decide you positively want to do something else instead. Not doing "anything" won't help the depression or get you (eventually) to where you want to go.

I was 39-41 before I "got it" about school and went from C's with a few D's and B's to getting straight A's when I took classes. You want to keep moving, keep trying something!

I hope I have gotten accepted to school for September too; maybe we can all start a thread here and encourage each other.

[Travelinglady]

I'm wondering if you are seeing a therapist. Or maybe you can get in touch with a counselor at the school. It would be good to have all the support you can get. And please remember, if you do run into problems, to talk to your professors.

I taught many older students at the college level. And generally they were my best ones, because they were motivated and not into partying.

Congratulations!

[dandylin]

I hope you don't give up. I am starting school in a couple of weeks. I'm 50 and am just beginning to figure it all out. I am starting with a lot of support. The Students with Disabilities Coordinator is helping me as well as the TRIO director. Both programs are free and the TRIO is a Federally funded group who helps with study skills, mentoring, advocating with instructors. Very supportive. And if you like, you can include me in your support system

[ANStew]

Throwing yourself into school may help you. I went to two semesters of CC after HS, and quit. I got married and did the housewife thing. I decided to go back to school last year, and just finished my 3rd semester last week. I could kick myself for not going back sooner, it was a ten year gap for me. On the other hand, I wouldn't have done as well if I had gone back before I was ready. My suggestion is give yourself till the drop with a W deadline, and if you just can't cope yet, drop before it will hurt your record. I'm betting that the anxiety of going back is not helping your confidence, but once you get into the swing of thing's you'll be happy you stuck with it.