[efs1412]

I'll just go ahead and say it, i'm doing very bad in school. I'm in 10th grade. My grades are great, but i'm not learning ANYTHING. I usually find all the answers to what I have to do in my books or other sources (Internet, etc).

I'm usually always depressed. I feel like no matter what I do, i'm going to suck at everything anyway. So why try?

I just don't know what to do, the last time I cried my mom got mad at me. I have nobody to talk to, and every time I try to open up and talk about my feelings I start to cry and I don't want people to get mad at me. So I only have people online to talk to, that's why i'm here. I get really dark thoughts in my head all the time too, and I don't know what to do about this.

My dream is to get a PhD in Astronomy and Physics. I love Science, but i'm an idiot (literally) so I won't be able to achieve that goal. My life is a wreck. I need someone to talk to because I feel like exploding.

[kaliope]

im confused. if your grades are great, how can you be doing bad in school? the goal is to find answers in books or online. you utilize what resources you have available. you are not expected to have the information in your head. and if you grades are great, then why would you consider yourself an idiot who could not reach a goal of becoming a phd in astronomy or physics? I think the real issue is low self esteem telling you you are doing bad and you are an idiot.

it is a shame you can not go to your mother to talk about your feelings. you should be able to tell her you are depressed so she can get you some help. depression could also be affecting your self worth. people should not get in trouble for attempting to talk about their feelings. you have us here. we will listen and support you. you can talk about anything here. follow this link Forums at Psych Central - Show Groups and PM any of the community liaisons if you want to talk privately. we will be happy to chat with you.

but you also have a counselor at school. I recommend you go to him/her and tell him/her that you believe you are depressed and that you need someone to talk to. they might be able to give you help or if it is like here, they will contact your parents with their concern to get you help. maybe coming from a professional, your mother will listen.