Jealousy over grades

Hey..

So, I've finally found my path in the education system, and I've been doing really well over the past year. Yesterday was my first real exam, and I got the next-highest grade. I never really got any high grades, so this is a really special thing for me - if I can get high grades, I must be good at this stuff. I was also told that I was extremely close to the highest grade, which makes it an even bigger deal to me.

Today however, one of my classmates got the highest grade. I'm just so pissed off. I don't feel like he deserves it. One of my other classmates got a grade lower than me, because he was too broad in his topic.

I've read the first guy's paper, and it's stuffed with topics, making it extremely broad and without academic depth. He also likes to brag and use big words he has no clue what means (I correct him sometimes, to get him to shut up), and I'm almost positive that the examiner was impressed with his "ability" to use big words.

I know I shouldn't let it get to me, and I should be happy for him. To some extend I am - as he's a good friend of mine as well, which might make this confusing. But over the past month or two I'm just becoming annoyed with his constant showing off, and even showing me off (as in pointing out what I do and how good I am). I'm usually humble and quiet about these things, so that doesn't work with me.

Ugggghhh... It' just the thought that I always imagined myself being better than him (terrible I know), and the rest of the class thinking of me as the most clever. But that's most likely gone now. I liked having that status.. I've always been the funny or quiet kid - never the smart one

having never really gotten high grades before, i would redirect my focus on the facts that i am doing well now and not worry about what other people are doing. i would just focus on myself doing better than i ever had before and see if i could out preform myself each time instead of competing with others in the class. it is my education after all.

Concentrate on what you are learning and why you are learning it and how it is moving you forward and what you like about it instead of what anyone else, friends included, are doing. You probably won't know this guy in 5 years and whatever you will be doing will not be relative to what he will be doing. It's not about the grades at all, nobody will know or remember what they themselves got much less what you did/did not get. This is "training" for your adult life later. It's not whether you have the most bulls eyes in a contest but how well you perform in the actual battle. Learn to be "aware" of your material and let it live in you and it will serve you. Grades are surface, like "good" looks, and don't last or signify anything very worthwhile.

Just because your friend got a higher grade doesn't necessarily mean that he is smarter or better than you. I got a C on a college paper before, not because it deserved a C, but because the professor was/is a biased a-whole. When he found out my boss and I were good friends (he wanted to date my boss), my subjective grade suddenly increased. Also, some students know how to play the game, using big words and such, and if used correctly, sometimes professors mistake that for true knowledge.

Haha I'm guilty of using big words on a paper, it never harmed me though

Hey there,

I can relate to your problem, as I have gone through the same feeling many times before. I gradually got over it. At first when our prof. sent us the results, I'd first check my "opponents'" grades, and then my own grade. If my grade was worse, I'd feel sick for some hours, then it'd gradually pass, but well it was a pretty weird feeling.

After I realized how weird what I was doing, I started checking my own grade only. I never asked others for their grades, I just cared about my own mark. If I needed to know where I am compared to the class in general, I'd just check the average.

But this didn't go as smooth as I explained. I always tended to check others' grades after mine the first few times, but I made it through. After some time as I let it go, I saw that I felt more confident next to my friends, and everything went back to normal.

Maybe you could use this little method I used

Have a great day!

High grades do not necessarily indicate that you are the smartest person in the class. I see many brilliant people in my classes who are undisciplined. Some of which I am sure are probably smarter than I am, but I generally score higher. That saddens me because I know the importance of learning.

However, what strikes me more is that your self-esteem is wrapped up in your grades. You probably have grade anxiety because without those As you feel less intelligent. You should do your best to let that go and just enjoy learning for what it is because grade anxiety will make you very sick. I am sure your talents extend beyond academics. Don't forget to cultivate those talents too!

try very hard not to compare, it only hurts you in the long run.