[Khione]

I just received a letter in the post, from the head of A-Levels (UK college), stating that I need to go in (with my mum) to attend a disciplinary hearing..

This is the letter I was sent;

"Following concerns expressed by your tutors, I am writing to advise you that you need to attend a disciplinary hearing on Thursday, 12 February 2015 at 3:30pm.

Please report at reception and ask for ___ (head of A-Levels). Your progress tutor ___ will also attend the meeting.

You can have someone to support you (a representative or member of the Student Union) if your parents/carers are unable to attend. Please let us know in good time.

If you do not attend and do not notify us, the hearing will still take place in your absence.

Yours sincerely,

___"

I'm actually lost for words. I sent a photo to my boyfriend, who suggested that it might be a generic letter for this kind of thing, but all of the meetings I have attended before have been called Support meetings and the whole letter was written differently. This time feels way more serious..

The part that has got me raging, is the fact I had a meeting with my progress tutor on Tuesday. She told me she'd be ringing my mum to arrange a meeting to check up on how I'm doing and what is happening (in regards to my mental health). I thought fine, it's a meeting, I've had a few and they're straight forward "keep college in the loop" kind of meetings..

This one is different, I know it is. My progress tutor didn't tell me about it, she didn't ring my mum and I'm currently waiting for an email back from her and my therapist lady regarding this whole thing..

I'm so.. just baffled. I don't know what to think about this.

(This is my other thread, outlining what happened in the meeting I had with my progress tutor and other things http://forums.psychcentral.com/schoo...-teachers.html)

[Perna]

How are your grades and have you turned in everything that has been due, etc.? Are you at least in the upper 40's/50's on grades? "Disciplinary" can mean so much, often I think we give it too much of a negative connotation? I don't think it means you have necessarily been bad, but if you are not able to keep up and are getting further behind? Something has to be done to get that straightened out?

[kim_johnson]

Insofar as you are in a school that is more focused on tracking attendance than in academic performance, attendance is a big deal, yeah. If you turn up and they can see you trying then things tick along... If you don't turn up then that creates a bit of a problem for them... They can turn a blind eye if you give them evidence you are doing your work outside class (e.g., by handing in high quality work / by doing well in tests). But when you teacher asks you if your test was a 'serious attempt' they are sort of saying that what you have given them is indistinguishable from someone who didn't do any work for the course whatsoever... Did you do any work for the course? You said something about being too anxious to study... Too anxious to attend, too anxious to study...

See... They can't keep giving you passing grades for not turning up and for turning in work of poor quality... If they did... Well... Whatever qualification you are working towards... Really would mean nothing. It would have no value whatsoever. You said something about how if they left your attendance alone then you would get A's... And yet it sounds like they have been leaving your attendance alone (you said your attendance fell to less than 50% before christmas) and yet your test was indistinguishable from a joke.

You said yourself that you don't believe you have many other options due to poor GCSE's and not having any work experience. Perhaps they can help you find other options. It doesn't sound like continuing on doing poorly as you are is doing you any favors... It can't be nice to be feeling anxious all day... Volunteer work in order to get work experience might be an option... But surely you can see that the current situation can't continue on indefinately into the future?

There is only so much that your progress tutor can say on your behalf. It sounds like they made it clear in the last meeting that they weren't really able to support you anymore / they really weren't able to offer you the support that you need.

Hopefully people can help you get in touch with an educational advisor / career planner person who can help you with some work experience.

Sorry if this sounds harsh... I think this is what the meeting will be about. I don't know how much help they can give you in finding an alternative pathway in life... But it really does sound like you surely need to find one...

[kim_johnson]

Different people grow up at different rates. And perhaps different rates for different things... I don't know what kind of background you are from, with respect to what your caregivers did for a living... But I suspect you don't exactly come from a professional background and probably haven't had much in the way of nurturing to help you find something that is a good fit for you.

You clearly aren't stupid. You are articulate and intelligent. That isn't the problem...

But you are also clearly not a good fit for where you are now. Maybe in a few years you would want to do something like what you are doing now... Or maybe in a few years you would like to try a different kind of an educational program... It isn't working out for you now, though.

I think you know that things need to change. But change can be scary.

Do you have any idea of something that you might like to do? Not forever... But something...

[Khione]

I've handed every piece of work in, and got As or Bs in each piece of work. In law, I read ahead and I know more than my class does, and psychology I have kept up with the work in class and outside of class. The only one I'm behind in is RE because, I have asked her, I need help with essay writing and such. I've emailed, my mum has emailed her and so has my progress tutor, and asked for a sample essay etc but she hasn't given one. So yes, Kim, I have done work outside of class and I am doing well in regards to work. The mock test was difficult for me for a multitude of reasons.

Excluding RE, the only thing I'm behind on is attendance. Which they know why I find it hard to attend.

And I came from a background consisting of a single mother who suffered depression and migraines and so didn't work until I was about 8 (before that, she was always on the sofa with the lights out a - since it helped the pain of her migraines) and then after that she worked full time and I never saw her. She didn't go to college or university until she was around 30.

Not sure if it counts as my "background" but I also moved country to live with my dad, skipped a year of college and this mock test we just had was the first exam style test I've seen in about 2 years. So I didn't know what to expect, I literally hadn't slept and every time I tried to revised, I went into full blown anxiety.

[kim_johnson]

Okay. I'm just trying to piece together things that you've been saying... Having a bit of a hard time putting things together... If you have been getting As and Bs in your work then your law tutor might have been shocked because of the drop in your usual standard rather than anything else... You clearly are intelligent and articulate, etc...

I hope the meeting goes well and you end up working out something that works for you.

[Khione]

Ugh. Just a little update. I've spoken to learning support at my college, I meet with a lady there every Tuesday and I've just finished a meeting. She hasn't even been made aware that there is a meeting going on, and when you inform a student with mental issues that they're to come in for a disciplinary hearing and then not inform learning support at the college... I really do wonder about the staff here. My progress tutor still hasn't replied to me or rang my mum like she said she would.

Learning support is chasing it all up now and I'll get told what happens and what my progress tutor etc has to say.

It's gotten to the point where 1) I am more focused on what's going on staff/system/jumping-through-hoops stuff, I'm less focused on calming myself down to make it into college and focus on my studies. This is ridiculous. And 2) I'm so pissed off with the way they're doing things. I don't care about why there is a hearing, I understand why and I accept it, I'm more pissed off out of my mind because they haven't kept me in the loop aside from a formal and clearly pre-written letter, they haven't kept learning support up to date, they haven't kept my therapist up to date (who visits/deals with other students at the college regularly) and most of all, they haven't done what they said they would (ring my mum, keep me in the loop and they originally told me it was "just a meeting" to "see how I'm doing".

I'm at the end of my tether and so is my mum. And I am most likely going to get kicked out of college and the funny part will be, I won't even be told I've been kicked out, knowing my college and the staff here.

Honestly, if anyone is in the north of England and is looking for colleges to go to, message me so I can tell you which one NOT to go to. I'd say the name here but I worry about privacy and all that.

[Perna]

I'd do online college, see if that fits better for you if attendance is a problem. I just graduated from an Oxford diploma course in history all online and it was fine. If you get into a bind and behind by too much you drop out until the next go round, there were a few new-to-us people jumping into our tutor groups where they'd left off the year before.

[kim_johnson]

Thanks for posting your update, I was curious about what was happening with you and I was sending warm vibes your way (I'm not very good at expressing that, sometimes). Glad to hear that learning support has been good for you... It is bad of them to have not kept them (and others) in the loop better.

I had a crappy experience with a technical college over here... And where I am at... My experience is varied. Some people are terrific and some people really are awful. I wonder if you could go to a different college... One where you might be a better fit... So hard to know what is feasible etc...

[Khione]

Hi guys, I've just had my meeting, just sat in a cafe having dinner with my mum. The meeting went okay, I still very much dislike my progress tutor and the head of A-Levels, but I'm getting more support from college though; I'm getting a laptop in exams and being allowed to type homework up so I don't have to type work up, print it off and then hand write it. My progress tutor (I'll call her C) is going to stop being my progress tutor. I'm having the lady I see at learning support (I'll call her A) is going to my progress tutor who I will continue to see once a week - but instead of them just being sessions with learning support, it'll be my tutorial session as well as my learning support session and I won't have to go to my weekly "form"/tutorial.

Sorry if this is all mismatched, I'm typing it up on a phone as I'm walking round the supermarket with my mum... Just thought I'd let those who are interested know about what was going on.

[Bewilderbeest]

Glad this went better than you had feared - what we work up in our own mind is often worse than reality.

Sounds like your college is just like every similar institution - they are *not* good at getting all of the different bureaucracies on the same page. It is sad, but the only way they will stay coordinated is if you and/or your mum stay on top of them and politely force the issue.

Some general advice in dealing with bureaucracy:
* Never mail in anything when you can hand-carry it and personally deliver to the person it goes to.
* When you are told something will get done, ask for a target date.
* When given a date, follow-up on that date, and every other day thereafter, until it happens (and it *never* happens on time) We have a saying here in the US - "The squeaky wheel gets the grease."

[kim_johnson]

sounds like progress on getting you some of the help / support that you need. do you get on well with the learning support person? the one at my school... honestly... i didn't much like her the first or second time i met with her... but she has grown a lot on me. i really like and respect her, now. she's... willing to battle on my behalf... which helps me feel really supported. which means a lot. i hope you are lucky enough to have a similar support person in your learning person.