[Khione]

I'm on the verge of breaking. My head is messed up and college is just making everything worse. Leaving my house with my family is hard enough, let alone leaving my house to get on 2 buses to be in college all day and then 2 buses back home. Then there is the work. I am sat in tears because I can't do it. I have a psychology report due tomorrow, yes I've had a week to do it, but every time I've sat down to do the work, I've just burst out crying because I have no idea where to even start. I also have a law essay due tomorrow which I missed a few lessons on and so don't have the notes to do the work. I'm just sick of college. I'm not even going to start on my religious studies class.

I feel so trapped. I have no idea what else I'd do other than college and so I feel like college is my only option. Other than college it'd be an apprenticeship, but I don't see myself getting out of the house every morning and going to work at this point in my life.

I'm so screwed and I'm freaking out. I don't think college is the right thing for me but I don't know what else I can do. Are there any free online course type things that would get me qualifications? I want to go to University but I don't see that happening unless I go to college. My life is so ****ed.

[TwoRoadsDiverged]

Originally Posted by Khione

I'm on the verge of breaking. My head is messed up and college is just making everything worse. Leaving my house with my family is hard enough, let alone leaving my house to get on 2 buses to be in college all day and then 2 buses back home. Then there is the work. I am sat in tears because I can't do it. I have a psychology report due tomorrow, yes I've had a week to do it, but every time I've sat down to do the work, I've just burst out crying because I have no idea where to even start. I also have a law essay due tomorrow which I missed a few lessons on and so don't have the notes to do the work. I'm just sick of college. I'm not even going to start on my religious studies class.

...

I am in the U.S and can very much relate.. Do you have a Disability Services Office, school counselors, or advisers at your college? One thing I would suggest, if you haven't done so already, is speak with the disability Services Office at your school or another adviser you feel comfortable with. I have gone through much of my education being VERY ill, and requiring extensions and other accommodations. If nothing else please document this with someone official who can validate that you are struggling and report it as a mental health related issue that it possibly is (stress). In the U.S. Universities sometimes allow a medical exemption if you do need to drop this semester, or for a period of time. See if you have that option.

In the U.S. there are technical colleges that are more hands-on and less textbook learning, and there are various degrees that may be a better fit than what you are pursuing. I hope they have such options in the UK. And I hope things get better for you.

[kim_johnson]

Hi.

Can you talk to your new support people? Have them sit down with you when you get your assignment early on and help you break it down into smaller, more manageable chunks?

I do understand that it is too late now...

Only...

How about next year?

How much do you want to go to university? If you go to university nobody is going to hold your hand to get you to lectures... They won't even notice if you don't show up. There could be up to 700 people all packed into a single lecture theatre... You can't really ask your professor for help to start your essay...

There will be learning support people... But you will need to know how to utilize them... Your professors won't really be able to help you, much.

Where you are... Isn't working for you THIS year.... But could you see it as a year to prepare for NEXT year. And then if you do well NEXT year.. Your reward is earning a place in college. Or something like that...

Learning people are usually really helpful with respect to helping you manage your time... I do hope you get the help you need.

[Khione]

Thanks for replying. I do want to go to university and the point of the professors not noticing I'm there will help me. Not because it means I can skip class and get away with it, but it'll reduce my anxiety in terms of there wont be any pressure to turn up and so I wont avoid turning up at all. It's weird and I don't expect anyone to understand it fully, but I avoid things I'm asked to do or put under pressure to do. I know that's not going to be good for holding a job or even handing work in at university, but that's what I'm working through with the mental health people I see currently.

I spoke with my mum earlier today and we came up with a plan (kind of, it has a lot of dependencies and such). I'm going to finish the last 3 months of this academic year and do my exams the best I can. My mum is going to talk to college and see about getting homework deadlines extended for every piece of homework (so I don't have anxiety around asking for extensions) so I can focus on revising and doing well in the exams. And then next year I'll either do a BTEC which is a vocational course (all coursework and no exams - not sure about this to be honest), get an apprenticeship (having a job whilst gaining a qualification at the same time) or do distance learning. I want to do distance learning because I feel it would be best suited to me. I'm a very independent learner - if I was allowed, I'd do all my a-levels at home and I'd get As in the exams, just because I'm better at teaching myself the content rather than having a teacher do it (as long as I have the course content materials).

I might try that, speaking to my tutor or learning support when I get work to do and have them talk it over with me. Sometimes it's not even that I can't do it, I know the content, only sometimes I get it stuck in my mind that I "can't" do it and so I avoid even looking at it. For tomorrow though, I'm going to have to just suck it up and say I haven't done it. D;

I was in a lot of the same place you were when I was in undergrad, and this is just personal opinion but what I did was this:

College/University campus therapy resources. Usually they are free. Use them! Also, if you think you need it, they will speak with the disability/studying help areas and allow things like extended deadlines/better accommodations for testing.

Study groups. Or a study buddy! I was a psych minor, so many times I would write something and then promptly bounce it to a friend and ask them "Does this look good to you?". If you're able to multitask well? Get on Skype and gab with someone while you write/work on homework. I know it's scary, but if you can't do it in person, maybe find an online one? (Though I know you mentioned you had a tutor, maybe speak with them seriously about the distance learning in the future?)

When you're unsure of where to start on an essay, look up tips on what you may feel best for you to break up/plan the essay, perhaps? I know I am an awful writer, so usually what I would do is just sort of....dump paragraphs of information and ideas into a word document. Just total word blab sometimes for pages. That was the first evening once I had done research. After that it is revision and careful adding. That worked for me, but maybe a more structured approach for you? Like the whole outline an essay technique and the like.

Distance learning would have been wonderful when I was in college/Uni, but an Arts School did require a certain amount of time in-studio hours. ...So I just always went late at night.

I hope it all works out for you though!