[Lillybird90]

I will try to set a goal but I END up forgetting to do it SO I gave up setting goals for myself because they never get done.. What should I do? how can i motivate myself into doing something without giving up half way through?

[arya1211]

What I've done is pick very simple goals, very specific, and just one or two. As in, today I will get out of bed and do the dirty dishes, then take a shower.

If I have to, I write them down, then check them off.

If you're healthy enough that these are too simple, just make them a little more complicated but follow the same rules. Very specific and write them down.

Good luck.

[Perna]

A goal is what you end up with, not what you do. You have to make a list of steps to get to your goal; those are what you actually do and they are/become part of your daily life so not something you are likely to forget.

Depends on the goal but adding a ritual around it may help. My morning ritual is coffee which has become a hobby. That is when I take my meds. While the water heats up. If I try to take them at a different time of the day I mess up.

Setting up an environment for doing something unpleasant might help. Like a scented candle for paying bills. I know that people will do that for things like yoga. The "ritual" is the candle. It isn't a habit because you have planned it. Once you get that in motion it's hard to stop the rest of the task.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

I am having a really tough time even establishing goals muchless carrying them through. Good job on at least selecting goals, although I can understand your frustration with not completing them.

[Lorn]

What kind of goals are these? Is it possible to break them down into smaller, more manageable steps or leave notes around the house?

[ladytiger]

i am having that problem too i am the type of person who will rush into things. i just want it done and over it why? because i don't wanna hear other people's success about how they made it to their goals asap before i could even get there i feel like i gotta compete with them just to get there!

i grew up not using goals i was told it was for "white people who gave up with that fantasy." so, trying to use goals now is still intimidating and i feel like how am i gonna get there. i have some goals right now and i feel like it could be difficult getting there. when i was a kid, if something was gonna take a long time i would give up because i felt i didn't have all day or x amount of years to even get to that goal - i wanted it right then and now i have a certain way of wanting things now.

well, i am still working on being productive when it comes to my goals. i always felt things were too hard, i never grew up taking challenges and risks as i was told it was other people's ways of doing something it was just stupid of what i was told. i had a couple of teachers who felt i could take risks/challenges if i could let myself do that and not be afraid of it.

[bannywan70]

turn it into steps! i do this with big goals and small goals...
for example: a small goal would be doing my homework. i'll make a list of what absolutely has to get done in this period of time, then i put in order which i'd rather do first, then i write out what i have to do for each assignment and i cross it off as i go! it always helps me maybe lists could help you too

[Resonance18]

I've heard once that if there's something that is really important to you, you'll find the time and energy to do it. Maybe you should find the goal you really desire

[notthisagain]

What Perna said. A goal is something to shoot for, not an absolute. Break things into smaller chunks and allow yourself some successes. The mistake I make is compiling a list of too many things to do and then getting mad at myself when I don't complete the list. Let yourself celebrate some small victories and work from there.

[offthegrid]

This is a great topic! I have a tendency to want to make excuses. Like lady tiger, ethnicity used to be the excuse for me…my childhood was drenched in "the government/white people make it hard for everyone". My personal tools for getting past this consist of:

1 - Limit communication with people who shoot you down, make you feel like you can't do things, or distract you from things that should be a priority. Negative people or time wasters are like leeches to productivity. Say NO to them. Just like that. Screen your calls. Move away if necessary.

2 - As other's have said, break down one big goal into miniature chunks. To use myself as an example, if I have the goal of working on a digital painting I can't just say I'll paint when I feel like it, that's setting myself up for failure. The stages of this process consist of sketching, corrections, scan, rough painting, fine details. I'll plan my day/week around it. I wake up at 6:30, eat breakfast and take care of hygiene until about 7:30. Start sketching before 9 am and work until noon with breaks scheduled in between. I find it's helpful to actually set an alarm sometimes. I'll work for 45 minutes then take a 5 minutes break. Besides, if you have set an alarm to do something for 15 minutes you alleviate that feeling like it will never end. It's 15 minutes, surely you can do that? Once you get into the groove, it will be over before you know it. If you have appointments, set reminders in a notebook or on your phone. Do whatever you need to do.

Keep this up and before you know it, you've reached your goal! That is all goals are, sitting down and doing the work.

3 - Research. Instead of comparing yourself to people who have everything you don't, why not learn from them? Nothing is magic, if they can do it so can you. If the people around you aren't helpful, find somebody who knows what they're talking about. OP, you are already doing that if you are on this site. You know you needed help in this area (sticking to goals) so you came here where people may provide insight. Do more of that.

4 - As I said above, I have a tendency to make excuses for myself. "I forgot" "I can't do it" "I didn't get around to it". There are things in life that this just isn't acceptable and there are ways to prevent things from happening.

[ladytiger]

pretty hard for me to limit contact with my mom on race issues. well, i suppose leaving the house for several hours helps then i gotta go back home to listen to it. at home, i put my headphones on and don't care to listen any further.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by ladytiger

i have some goals right now and i feel like it could be difficult getting there. when i was a kid, if something was gonna take a long time i would give up because i felt i didn't have all day or x amount of years to even get to that goal - i wanted it right then and now i have a certain way of wanting things now.

Maybe start reminding yourself that you are going to get to life in 30 minutes anyway, and 4 years down the road, etc. so you might as well be working toward something you want to have around you when you get there? If you have 10 math problems to do and they take forever and you don't foresee getting them done, etc. it still is worth getting 1 of them done in half an hour, so you only have 9 left to do and understand at least that 1 "now". I did not use to do my homework but what little I did or read, etc. that helped me get C's and D's instead of failing outright? I did not realize it but we are doing stuff all the time, procrastinating by playing, etc., that is still spending the time only there is even less to show than if we set a goal and don't quite get there when we'd like. So it takes 5 years to graduate instead of 4, better than dropping out after 2 and having "nothing"?

[ladytiger]

Originally Posted by Perna

Maybe start reminding yourself that you are going to get to life in 30 minutes anyway, and 4 years down the road, etc. so you might as well be working toward something you want to have around you when you get there? If you have 10 math problems to do and they take forever and you don't foresee getting them done, etc. it still is worth getting 1 of them done in half an hour, so you only have 9 left to do and understand at least that 1 "now". I did not use to do my homework but what little I did or read, etc. that helped me get C's and D's instead of failing outright? I did not realize it but we are doing stuff all the time, procrastinating by playing, etc., that is still spending the time only there is even less to show than if we set a goal and don't quite get there when we'd like. So it takes 5 years to graduate instead of 4, better than dropping out after 2 and having "nothing"?

About homework (sorta doing homework not for school), I just didn't know how to do anything with the material and wish I would have done better with it. I don't remember if I mentioned something about on here, may be I did.

Right now, I am working on something that is gonna be a life change forever. I plan on speaking to a financial coach about if I am on the right track and I feel like I am getting closer to my goal.

[ladytiger]

I never got the chance to speak to the financial coach as I am dealing with the CC company garnishing my money to pay my CC which I knew about the garnishment and now I have to start over again. Gonna start searching for a 2nd job....

[Sometimes psychotic]

Well setting rewards for yourself is one way but here is an alternative I heard about...

stickK ? Change Starts Now

You have multiple options on this site but one of them they are best known for is the stick...if you opt to give your credit card info they can give money to a an anti-charity of your choice at a time point an value you specify. So you pick a group you hate that it would absolutely pain you to support and that is your motivation. I wouldn't pick something so horrible as the KKK just in case I screwed up from time to time but I think the Republican Party might still be horrifying enough to keep me in line....of course given politics vary you can pick whatever you consider awful and complete your goal to prevent donating to them. It's a pretty strong motivator.

[ladytiger]

Update.

The garnishment has been completed as the law firm's client got their money, one debt down and another one (student loan). I am rebuilding back my account, god, it's such a slow process of a part time income. However, I am making another resume to apply for a full time position on campus before the deadline, got help from career services, and will be sending it soon. This will be a 2nd job for me and want to stay with my part time job to learn more of my job.

My main goal of getting my own place is still taking too long. How much more longer do I still have to be their servant?! My check kinda went down because I got retirement taken out, definitely need that 2nd job soon! I can barely spend anything and been going without spending a lot.

[music junkie]

Originally Posted by ladytiger

Update.

The garnishment has been completed as the law firm's client got their money, one debt down and another one (student loan). I am rebuilding back my account, god, it's such a slow process of a part time income. However, I am making another resume to apply for a full time position on campus before the deadline, got help from career services, and will be sending it soon. This will be a 2nd job for me and want to stay with my part time job to learn more of my job.

I'm glad that's over with, so that you can use those funds elsewhere.

[LifeBeautiful]

Amazing tips I found in this thread for goal-setting. I do feel we have lot of potentials as also waves of thoughts/feelings inside us. Along with doing action / setting goals, it helps a lot to do meditation to increase our self-awareness. This has helped me a lot. When that thought of restlessness, distraction emerges in our mind, we can catch our mind at that moment and bring us back on the task that we are doing. The more we are able to do this, the more successful we will be in accomplish our task. Though, I have various ideas and possibilities of doing things, I have been finding challenge in doing them. For eg, Today, I need to prepare a presentation. And I noticed that my mind is constantly getting distracted or getting bored. I am kind of parenting my restless child. Giving breaks in between. And still focusing on doing my presentation. Hope this technique helps me. Let me know your views.

[ladytiger]

Originally Posted by music junkie

I'm glad that's over with, so that you can use those funds elsewhere.

Agreed. I already applied for the full time position been checking the status online. So far, they are viewing external candidates. I am also looking outside of the school at other schools to see what I can apply too.