[SICKlySweet]

I can only generalize it. It's from a bunch of reasons. I am angry most of the time lately, and I do vent it. I have BPD and can't seem to get out of Emotion Mind! I am under a bunch more stress lately, (on my pathway to getting better) I feel I have upset others quite a bit lately too. I am angered with the people in my life and I am angered with the people I am without in my life. Working on my Mindfulness skills only seem to infuriate me more. I feel like I have no release anymore. I haven't cut for 6 months, nor do I want to. Putting aside my suicidal fantasies is real hard. Even though I feel farther away from the act of it since I no longer SH. I have been eating better and think I am losing healthy weight, but I feel helpless. I don't like calling the distress lines, or calling my T for phone coaching. I feel really invalidated most times. I can't chilax.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated as I am not one to ask for help.

[Mouse_]

Hi, I know that feeling only to well. I know some people say go hit a pillow or something, but that only seems to make me feel more angry, it doesn't tell me anythnig about why I am angry, I do find writing to the anger and about the anger though painful whilst doing, actually does help ease it. I think its brave when anyone talks about their anger!!

[Junerain]

Why are you under more stress?

[SICKlySweet]

I had an appointment with my T today and brought up this issue. I feel my anger comes from fear. It generates out of my anxiety. I have been having more anxiety due to the stress. My life is becoming more structured, with appointments that need keeping. Trying to fix myself and make a life I enjoy is hard work, and I have only just started really working on a few more things, such as Therapy, Doctors appointments, A program I am just starting for self-employment, and a Fitness Dance class once a week. I take myself to this class. (Which is a big thing for me, since I have trouble being alone in public).

I feel good about doing more and becoming active, but it is still very stressful.

I think this anxiety is the cause for me to be angry, and a little more on edge with others. Trying to work on my Emotion Regulation Skills.

Thanks for your replies.

[AdamAW]

It sounds like you at least have some ideas about what is causing your anger.

I'm sure many of use know what you are going through. I know that I have been there on occasions in my life.

There is a whole chapter on anger in Dr Clay's book, some of which you may find helpful.

There are so many specific pieces of advice, but I think one of the most important is to try to relax, and also to try to be accepting of yourself and your life.

Best Wishes,

[madisgram]

SS, i can relate to that state of mind. i am bpd with hypomania. particularly when i am stressed i feel angry, agitated and irritable with everyone at a drop of the hat. when i know i am on edge i try to not islolate but do stay to myself somewhat. the reason is simple it will place me in far less situations where i might go off. if i have an errand to run to the store, if i can wait i do, for example. to relieve some of the strssors in my life i exercise briskly each day to let off some of the tension (this really works and it takes my mind off things for a few). another thing i do is get invoved with a project that i've been putting off or do some crossword puzzles, etc. if i am able, i try to read as this takes me out of my self for a while. i use these distractions until i start to feel better. i'm sure you already know when u're feeling better too. sleep is difficult for me too when i'm like this. if i wake up or can't go to sleep i get up and do sumthin'...mop the floor,etc and then try again to get some rest. try to be gentle on yourself right now as you would a good friend. it's so easy to be hard on ourselves and when we're bp we will have these times in spite of everything we do to help ourselves. this too will pass. i think your sharing this with us may help too cause it's "letting the stream out of the kettle". hope some of these suggestions may help you. i care about u so let us know how it's going, k?
i re-read your posts and would like to add that i too find knowing i have appts out front is hard. to relieve that i try to space out some of those to not have the tension and anxiety of going be so high.
you are doing some very good things for yourself and i applaud you. facing your "demons" in therapy can be scary but the reults are so rewarding. and you're correct..many times behind the anger is just fright. u can write your thoughts down and it will "show" you what's really going on with you. it'll indicate the fright. then u can better deal with that in therapy.