[-jimi-]

Is someone else than me stuck in this because of mental/physical lack of energy and focus for different reasons plus an inner list in which things are going to be done?

My list is something like this:

Do the urgent things (Pay bills etc)
Do favors for others
Do boring things (Like cleaning)

Then I'm out of juice. Almost always.

Things I want to squeeze in:

Doing nice things for more long term (Like some redecorating and cooking many servings to freeze)
Do art
Play music
Go for walks
Do yoga or similar
Learn languages

I'm not good at planning, I'm low energy and even when I am good at planning, things always clash for reasons I cannot control or because the day I'm supposed to do something I'm sick or go on almost no sleep.

It would be nice to partner up in this and see what can be done. I don't want to JUST do things that give me no pleasure. I need some out of the box solutions.

It would also just be nice to hear if someone has a similar issue.

I like your name & picture

I've been up and down when it comes to getting things done. But I'm terrible at doing nice things or hobbies for myself. I don't even know what I like to do, lol. I would love to follow this thread and see what others are doing that helps.

[Skeezyks]

Hello jimi: Well... I'm an older person now. My life pretty-much entirely revolves around doing the same stuff every day. There isn't really much of anything else I want to do. I lead a pretty-much solitary life. And I don't have extra money to spend on special stuff either. Some days I would just like to SCREAM! But I just keep doing what I do &, after a while, the feeling passes...

[gayleggg]

I only do the things that are necessary. Otherwise my life is boring. I don't have the energy or the finances to do anything extra.

I don't have any idea how to get out of the rut. I would like to work on my hobby but no money. Sorry I'm not any help but you are not alone.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I do similar things; I even manage to procrastinate the urgent things.

I stumbled on something simple that has worked very well for me. It's kind of childish.... I make a certain number of small lines on a big piece of art paper I have pinned to the wall. Everything gets a mark: brushing teeth- working a full day- eating a vegetable- practicing various mental exercises- postponing or catching a strong emotion and not acting out on it. I even give myself marks if I don't do something that I'm trying to break myself of- cigarettes, Starbucks. If I do something big, something I've been avoiding, something out of my comfort zone I give myself 10 or 20 marks.

I don't get as disappointed in myself as I used to on my low energy days because there is almost always something I've done that day that gets a mark. And once I start to mark off what I've gotten done it makes me want to do more to make more marks.

I'm very visually oriented and to feel a sense of accomplishment it helps a lot to be able to see, in some way, what I've done. So as ridiculous as it seems this works for me. I guess I've kind of taken my obsessive tendencies and made them productive. I've been doing it for 2 years now. It's satisfying to slowly see the paper fill up with all these pencil marks and abstract shapes.

I guess try to think of something simple and uniquely you. Good luck jimi

Since you sound much more responsible than me- you could make a point of treating yourself with one of your fun things after you've done the boring required things. Or even do one of the fun things first if you don't have a problem gettting the urgent things done.

You may have already heard or read about the "spoons theory" before. I think it is helpful for anyone dealing with an illness that affects their energy level.

This explanation of it is written a bit melodramatically for my taste, but it explains very well how, if we have health limitations, we have limitations on what we can accomplish in a day and that we have to plan if we don't want to run out of spoons (energy/low-pain level/etc.) before the day is over.

I haven't been doing this lately myself and have ended up not doing rewarding/fun/social things.

Your post has been a reminder to me to schedule some things that are important to me, and to remember how many spoons I have each day.

I may know, say, that if I have made a plan to have lunch with a friend that I should not scrub the bathtub before I go, or I will be too tired/sick-feeling to socialize properly. The "spoons" idea is just a visual tool to help me schedule my day.

Excerpt from "But You Don't Look Sick":

At that moment, the spoon theory was born. I quickly grabbed every spoon on the table; hell I grabbed spoons off of the other tables. I looked at her in the eyes and said “Here you go, you have Lupus”.

She looked at me slightly confused, as anyone would when they are being handed a bouquet of spoons. The cold metal spoons clanked in my hands, as I grouped them together and shoved them into her hands.

I explained that the difference in being sick and being healthy is having to make choices or to consciously think about things when the rest of the world doesn’t have to. The healthy have the luxury of a life without choices, a gift most people take for granted.

Most people start the day with unlimited amount of possibilities, and energy to do whatever they desire, especially young people. For the most part, they do not need to worry about the effects of their actions. So for my explanation, I used spoons to convey this point.

I wanted something for her to actually hold, for me to then take away, since most people who get sick feel a “loss” of a life they once knew. If I was in control of taking away the spoons, then she would know what it feels like to have someone or something else, in this case Lupus, being in control.

- See more at: But You Dont Look Sick? support for those with invisible illness or chronic illness The Spoon Theory written by Christine Miserandino - But You Dont Look Sick? support for those with invisible illness or chronic illness

[-jimi-]

Since I have Lupus I came across the spoon theory and it is exactly like that for me.

I wanted to put things on walls too but my friend would ridicule me. I try to keep notes but they turn into weird scribble that finally gets lost.

For me habit change is extremely slow. What takes someone about three months to change to sort of put into autopilot, takes me three years and I'm not even kidding. Still maybe the key is to try to make it habit.

I finally came around cleaning every week because I have government assistance with that, now I know they will show up weekly and after half a decade I have realized it does work to tidy like that (don't even try to imagine my home before that...).

I've tried to do things with my friend but she is as random as me. Together we make a great team pushing everything into the future...

Least I actually finally found my amp cord. Dusted off my guitar a little. Haven't restringed the acoustic. For some reason it feels like a huge hassle! I haven't even messed with the uku I bought a year ago, even if I "should" have been happy about it and started toying with it at once.

I look at those Youtubers who manage to post at least once a month. They might not have more than 100 viewers but just that would be fun.

I'm sorry your friend ridicules you that's no good. You could use a big notebook and put it somewhere she couldn't see.

Your home before.... maybe looks like mine now.

Small steps I guess. Every little bit helps.

Another idea- make a check-in thread for yourself on this forum. You would have support and no one IRL would see it.

[Perna]

Sometimes I make three lists: The boring things I have to do; the things I want to do; and the things I honestly do not want to do (today), my "To-Don't" List

Then I make my today list and make sure there is at least one item from each list on there. With the To-Don't list, that means I do not feel guilty about not cleaning the bathroom today or going out to do some chore. The trick is to not keep using the same item on the To-Don't list and/or to move some of those occasionally to the boring, have-to list for choosing one or two from.

Several years ago I make a chore list collage with 8-12 "areas" of chores but threw in a "free day" and a dollar store roll (go to the dollar store and buy ONE practical item and bring it home and use it :-) and every morning I'd get up and roll my dice (some odd gaming dice with 8 sides I think, from some game like Dungeons and Dragons) and then have to work in that "area" (kitchen, bathrooms, filing/paperwork, general organization/cleanup, cat care (I have two), just whatever I could think of. It was fun making the collage board and I set an additional rule that I only had to work for 30 minutes. I'd roll my dice first thing and then I was guilt free for the rest of the day: