[Noitartst]

I'm dealing with apathy,which seems the natural fit for this forum. I was looking for moral support, going forward; my motivation is to seek control, and I was hoping you'd assist with that.

I just don't know where to go with that, other than to confront my family, so I'm seeking counselors and others that will help me do so, and beyond that, I don't know, but there I'm starting. I want them to respect me, even if they don't; if not, I just intend on moving on, setting boundaries, etc., but the fact is, my desires aren't clear; I've worked towards art and getting a job, but they have proven weak motivators; I may want them, but not enough to get up early, or turn things around.

On the other hand, picking fights seem to work, so I've focused on building on that.

I'm motivated to confront my family, so I need to plan for that, better. I've failed before alone, so I want help doing that, others validating my claim. I just don't want to be disrespected.

Basically, I'm seeking third-party framing. Hm--I feel a little happier, just thinking of it.

wow. It is hard to know how to proceed here. I would say...where do you see yourself wanting to be in 5 years....10? What steps will help you start? Then you could make goals and we can build on that.

[Noitartst]

Well, I've a lot of things I want to do, but I don't feel motivated, and can barely cry, anymore; I used to cry, quite easily, and get angry, but now, I feel just dull resentment.

Basically, I've been trying to find help confronting my family, but they've balked, and I'm now between counselors, at BHR.

Essentially, I'm considering publicly attacking my family on Facebook, calling them liars, etc; this is partly because I didn't get help confronting them more directly, one-on-one. I either need to attack them harder, or else perform a cleaner brake with them, and I ever have.

Trouble is, my family's been my support group, and I'll need a new one; that's one reason I haven't done this, before.

Basically, I imagine on ongoing confrontation between me, and my family, even as I used the energy derived from striking them down to propel me forward, and create new boundaries, for myself.

The thought of shrinks validating my contempt towards others, makes me feel happy, like I've made a difference, and that I'm fighting for principal, not like revenge, which is what too many claimed.

They guilt-tripped, and for that, I'm going to take public satisfaction in shaming, and humiliating them.

They were wrong, I was right, enough said; I think that equals control, and self-satisfaction, for me; working with someone to get my story in the paper, would be good, and someone calling losers up, supporting me, would be sweet too; this could be the nut germ of a plan.

Man, I sound mean, don't ? These aren't my long-term plans, but they seem to be what I'm motivated on focusing on, so I think my shrink and i should focus on running my critics down, till I no longer feel like doing so. We could focus on a three-month plan of revenge, and then see if I still want revenge and recognition, or if I want to do other things.

Thinking on my family makes feel angry because they make me feel trapped, and thus I want to assert control away from them; I fear them and so , I want to confront them, very bad. Instead of evading it, let's jump in with both feet.

The very thought of doing so, actually makes me feel happier, and more in control, so let's roll with it.

[Shaly78]

Control- I can't emphasize how important control is in anything that you do, because it helps safety, confidence, less anxious, help with power. Establish a conversation so that control it will be gained sooner or later. Tell them, break from the confrontation word can be a little negative . Are you issuing an ultimatum? Is there imminent danger? When there is no control it can move to learned helplessness people pleasing , and like you said you need to be respected. If that doesn't happen then you have to remove yourself from toxic people and set clear boundaries that you can follow most times