Dealing with Loneliness!

I know everyone deals with this differently, but how do you all deal with it.

I try to surround myself with people who care about me. If I can't find those people quickly, I come here to PC where everyone is kind and supportive!!!

Keep yourself busy...that's probably the best way to combat loneliness.

get involved in interests,
and then I've found that often there are other people doing the same thing, and people are friendly in these settings (usually)

good question!
when I can I come to PC...
apart from that I tend to isolate myself too much, especially when I need to have others round me...

When I feel lonely I try to read a book or come here, most of the time it helps.

Here's a list of what I do:

1. Read books(I devour them)
2. Watch a good uplifting movie.
3. Go to Karaoke
4. Make home videos out of old pictures on DVD's using windows movie maker.
5. Paint ceramics.
6. Color or draw.
7. Write about my feelings even if nobody reads it but me.
8. Write letters to family members or call them.
9. Talk on the phone to a friend.
10. Work in the yard.
11. Eat sugar free ice cream.

I've found a lot to do since I quit drinking. I used to drink a lot out of lonliness. So - there's some ideas!!!!!

Just survive

Also, work on understanding myself and other people...

Try to keep myself occupied.
But being lonely day in day out is hard. When there's noone to talk to at all apart from family when they get home from work.
I know you're meant to love you family ad I do (well my mum n younger bro at least) it's not the same as having a friend to talk to.

PC normally helps when I'm lonely... or talking to my pets (even though they can't talk back).

Molly


edit: Happy birthday by the way. Best wishes

I've kind of gotten past the loneliness...comes with age, I think, and assessing what is worthwhile and what is harmful to my psyche.
I live alone, been divorced 11 years now, and tried to find a bond with a partner, but that was pretty horrendous, and now I am finding contentment alone. Improving your education is a good resource of eliminating loneliness. I actually went back and completed my M.A. in Fine Art over the past 4 years rather than focus on what was destructive to me in the past.
If you really want to meet people, even start a relationship, there are avenues out there for you...for sure. Don't let yourself wallow in loneliness, though. Wnen one is extremely lonely, they are fodder for users and con artists (from experience, I speak!). Better to find interests for yourself.
Love
Patty

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Deborah35 said:
I know everyone deals with this differently, but how do you all deal with it.

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I don't find that it's something that needs dealing with in my personal experience. I am never alone and never have been. Apparently, as a child to protect myself from losing my identity, I created a fairly elaborate fantasy world that I lived and still sometimes live in. Not saying that's what others should do to not be lonely, but I tend to be in my head a lot and this seems to make it impossible for me to be lonely.

i live in la la land. i create stories. i think out situations. i try to work out why the world is round and so on... i come to some straaaaaaaange conclusions :P

Being alone is hard. First of all, you should get involved in something you enjoy doing. I have found church groups have been the best, but there are many options. Get to know one person well, who can be an introduction to others. There is an old book, but a good one, still in print, called "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie (available at Amazon). It was a life-changing book for me and will introduce you to some great people skills. If you are at home alone, and that is what is bothering you, find some hobbies...reading, etc., and look at it as a positive. I call it my "cave time" and it rejuvenates me. I am in a profession dealing with the public and it need some alone time. Good luck!--Rob

I find I try to distract myself, either by doing stuff aorund my place or coming on-line here or to another board I go to. Virtual friends are better than no friends. I have very few friends IRL, but I'm trying to be more outgoing and reach out to people I'm meeting in AA. I go to AA meetings. I know a lot of my loneliness is self inflicted. I'm so afraid of rejection that I'll push people away, but I'm trying to be aware of that behaviour and act differently. I'm really shy which doesn't help but i've started forcing myself to go to my professional association's events. I usually learn something interesting from the speakers and it's a good chance for me to practice social skills.

The most important thing I have to remember is that being lonely doesn't make me a bad person.

To start off, I was an only child.....so I was mostly alone except having a Mother that was around all the time........I really didn't have anyone to play with.....so I learned to find things that were of interest to myself.....I learned not to be dependent on having someone else in my life to keep me from being lonely.

I have been married for 32 years to a person who didn't communicate well, so it was like being alone anyway.....now that I am in my own home away from him & on 10 acres out in the country.....I am definitely away from people & may go days without talking to anyone.

I have to admit...having my doggies who give me kisses & I can talk to....does help.....besides that, I have found that to truely not feel alone, I have become involved in several Bible studies in the community.....The learning that I have come away with from the Bible study has left me completely NOT lonely feeling & also, the people I have met & come close friends with them. Something I have never had in my life before now. Friends I don't have to talk to everyday......but we are here for each other when we need support......That is truely what is helping any lonelyness I have ended up with lately.

Debbie

I wish I could say that I handle loneliness in a healthy way, but for the most part I don't. I sort of rely on others to keep me from being by myself.

Ideally, I'd handle loneliness by practicing self acceptance and reaching out to others who may need more of a companion then I would. Like visiting seniors in retirement homes or volunteering.

hmmm, I dont deal with it well.... I call everyone I know, and then I eat and watch a movie till I fall asleep

Loneliness is something that has haunted me all of my life... I don't handle it well...I isolate...and depend on the men in my life to provide the companionship that I need.... It is sad, I become anxious just being around people...even my family. I don't go to family events, school events, nothing social... I don't want to be like this and it is affecting my 12 yo dd.... She is lonely and NEEDS for me to get out of this... I keep waiting on someone to rescue me...my exhusband mainly...when will I be able to do this on my own...

TJ

I am lonely but i bring it on myself. I have pushed everyone away from me ..... my daughter is livin away until she goes to Uni ..... when my hubby comes home i shut myself in my room .... i feel better away from people right now ... i feel boring and there is no spark, no interest, no nothing .... my best friend IRL has even abandoned me now becasue i am always cancelling arrangements ... we knew each other 30 years ......

guess i'm better off alone ..... Jx

((deb)))
i personally sometimes like to be alone
It brings me peace and time to think
every now and then i think i am alone
and then I look at pc and know i am not
the support here helps so much

((jinn)))))))
Know your kids care very much.
You feel alone but really she has gone off to make her own life
I know you are so proud of her
You posted she calls you every day
Which means she cares much for you

WIth you shutting yourself in your room
try opening the door alittle
let everyone in
You are worth it
You are cared for alot here at pc
Look at all the posts you get...
ppl really care for you here
You are a important part of pc...
your never alone here
sending you peaceful healing thoughts
muffy

I just wish I could have one best friend be it man or woman who would like me unconditionally and we could pal around together and call each other when we need too! <font color="blue"> </font>

I HATE FEELING SO LONELY!!!

Seamoods

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jinnyann said:
I am lonely but i bring it on myself. I have pushed everyone away from me ..... my daughter is livin away until she goes to Uni ..... when my hubby comes home i shut myself in my room .... i feel better away from people right now ... i feel boring and there is no spark, no interest, no nothing .... my best friend IRL has even abandoned me now becasue i am always cancelling arrangements ... we knew each other 30 years ......

guess i'm better off alone ..... Jx

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I know for both of us it is the illness... I am tired of the illness...tired of struggling with who I am and always wanting to be someone else....the other person that I used to know!!!

TJ

I am very lonely, and I feel completely useless at being a friend. I discovered that I live up the road from a mental health center. I am going to go there and see if I can get involved in a depression group and maybe put in some volunteer.

I'm past my bedtime bigtime tonight so I can't give you links and such.... put it on my to do list

to all.... remember being alone and being lonely are two different things. (Some times we know both of them eh?)