 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
May 22, 2009, 11:29 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Mood switches, danger zone. Did all i could first - clawed self with fingernails, nearly cheated severely on medical diet, called t and left message, ate something on diet that i like (sweet potato fries) for dinner, tried to breathe and talk self through, hit head on wall out of dispair, hugged cat for a long time, watched "dangerous" triggering movie but it all only made it worse.
not mad about it... shakey i guess since there was more blood than usual (no worries all - is taken care of), bummed that i relapsed or rather never really quit this week, forgot (again) to take meds on time *sigh*, am panicked that t will drop me since i'm "not better yet". @_@ am scared to tell her any of this. 
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image.   alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
|
|
#2
May 23, 2009, 06:28 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((((((((((((((((( kiya ))))))))))))))))))
sitting here with you (sharing a blanket) 
__________________
|
 Kiya
|
|
#3
May 23, 2009, 10:13 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((((((((((Kiya))))))))))))))))
Not "being better yet" is never a good reason to drop someone as a T. I'm sure she'll be sad for you, but she's not going to leave you. I'm sorry all the coping stuff didn't work. Maybe adding more stuff for the future is an idea? Although I'm now craving sweet potato fries!  Be safe. Breathe.
__________________
|
| Kiya
|
|
#4
May 23, 2009, 01:38 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
thanks Fluffy, Christina. 2 opened up again today on the hands, had to apply bandaids. haven't heard from t. forgot, it's a holiday weekend and she doesn't work fridays so she is probably out someplace with her fam for 4 days. dunno what i would have said even if she does call.
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
|
|
#5
May 23, 2009, 10:39 PM
|
||||
|
||||
   
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
|
|
#6
May 24, 2009, 07:54 AM
|
||||
|
||||
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
| Kiya
|
|
#7
May 24, 2009, 10:29 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
((((((((((((((((((((((Kiya))))))))))))))))))) I am sorry you are sturggling so much. T won't drop you because you relapsed. Please try and be kind to yourself this weekend.
BB
__________________
 |
| Kiya
|
|
#8
May 24, 2009, 12:15 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
thanks P7, BBear...
T called. was worried. nearly stumbled again after call. Thankfully, the means were not with me, i left the house too quick. not great, but tryin to keep outta trouble. i'm working hard in t - i sure don't want to lose her.
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
|
|
#9
May 25, 2009, 10:43 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
What's going on Kiya? What are you struggling with now?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#10
May 25, 2009, 11:09 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
__________________
|
| Kiya
|
|
#11
May 25, 2009, 06:11 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
| Kiya
|
|
#12
May 25, 2009, 07:37 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((((((((Sanah, Fuzzy, P7))))))))
am doing better today - got meds back in that i was out of and others on time finally and so i went into today already armed (and a good thing too, cuz i took mom to Urgent Care and totally would have had a panic attack, which ends in cutting. Today was only dissociation. *only*, heh, but good to see that "friend" again.
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
|
|
#13
May 26, 2009, 07:09 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
yep somtimes disassociati can be a friend - glad you are hanging in there - take care
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
| Kiya
|
|
#14
May 30, 2009, 11:52 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I have to say... i am glad that i chose a different place for this relapse (on the self) because i wouldn't have been able to participate comfortably in stuff these past few days if they had been visible. As they are on my hip, no one knows, and they don't hurt (due to all the padding
). I'm not really sure i'm allowed to say that (because ppl might think i am saying SI is an ok thing) but I am just expressing that, even tho i relapsed, it is not backfiring on me, for which i am grateful. i did give full details to both dr and T. T expressed concern as always. Dr said nothing (it was in the form of an email). I did want to hold myself accountable to them, even if the cuts didn't show. Anyway, there is my rant for now. =)
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
|
|
#15
May 31, 2009, 12:20 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
glad you told your and Dr - it helps I think to have them on your side - take care P7
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
| Kiya
|
|
#16
Jun 01, 2009, 08:15 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Sounds like your post SI reaction and handling it is progress Kiya!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| Kiya
|
|
#17
Jun 01, 2009, 07:11 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I just wish the urges would dry up and never come back. Why does it always feel like injury will feel better? or that that will best serve the anger... or... that will be the reset button i need to stop the the feelings, emotions, sensations, craziness....
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
|
|
#18
Jun 02, 2009, 02:08 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
(((Kiya))) wish I knew......
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
|
#19
Jun 02, 2009, 11:08 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Quote:
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#20
Jun 02, 2009, 06:42 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
You've given me a brainwave.... my dr has me take suppliments that boost dopamine... I think maybe i ought to ask her if when the urge to SI comes up if i can take one of those supplements!
thanks!
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
|
| Sannah
|
|
#21
Jun 03, 2009, 01:05 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
Whats the supplement Kiya?
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
|
#22
Jun 03, 2009, 10:43 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
ummm... one of the 30 i take =) i can't remember which - and i totally forgot my brainwave, so i'm glad you asked. I'll have to call dr and figure that out.
__________________
Credits: ChildlikeEmpress and Pseudonym for this lovely image. alt="Universal Life Church | ULC" border="0">
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
