[Mixtress82]

I feel more neglected than usual. My husband of 6+ years has tried to say he hasn't given up on me, but I feel like he has. He goes out, does things with my own family (mother/father/grandmother) of all people...and tells me just to deal with my own "crap". When I tell him I am gaining confidence and feel as though I should do things on my own, he tells me "fine, go ahead, leave me then!"

Today is Independence Day and I drank. I couldnt deal with my family and their constant ways of putting me down in front of my face like they have in the past. I needed to get a way from that toxic environment.

I cut. I bled. I drank again. Ritalin. Vicodin. What's next?
Everyone in my family tells me "Oh, you know nothing will happen, come on,
you took 81 Xanax, 17 Valium, 22 Lexapro, and what, 19 beers, you say in one night...no biggie!"

I hate to sound so selfish on these forums, but every little bit of respect I gain for myself, I have one more person close to me put me down, and believe I can't change. I truly feel like maybe this is it.

[bipolar_bear]

(((((((((((((((((((Mixtress)))))))))))))))) I am sorry your family is being so unsupportive. I hope you can find what a wonderful person you really are and that you can find a less destructive way to cope. Please try and be kind to yourself and stay safe. I am here if you ever want to talk to someone.

BB

[DoggyBonz]

Confused on actually what to say to you. Sounds like you are in an abusive, toxic envioronment which you probably already know. The only way to get out is to get out b/c you are right I think that everything you do to gain some self confidence and self esteem might be almost hurt in the envt. It's like you leave your T's office and with some understanding and hope and then you get home to a turbulent place and at least for me I feel trapped.
Your family is what they are and it is not your fault that they are like that. You are surviving the best way you can. Have you talked to your t about some things that you can do to help the situation.
Have you asked your husband about joint counseling? Talking to your T, might be the most helpful to figure out a game plan to deal with all the choas.