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#1
Jun 08, 2009, 09:38 PM
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I'm begining to fall once again with my state of mind. I've been so conscious to keep myself strong and healthy, but can't seem to get a grip on my lfie.
Yes, I have been self-harming through cutting and using sharp objects. At school I can't even stay in my classes all day, I'm beginning to have to get up and go for walks to calm down. I've been feeling really bad inside all over again, but am trying to grip onto what is left for me. I've been trying to avoid hospitalizations just about daily. I can't really associate with my family or be with anyone. I've been feelining alone and just not here in reality again. I've tried and am still trying to use positive coping skills to the best of my abilities, but just am falling again. I don't understand myself or really anyting in life. I keep questioning what is the true meaning of my life as well as what is the point of the existance of human beings. I can't keep going on like this, but am stuck in this insane world. I need so much help and guidance, but my mother does not know how to handle anything, leading me to the point of not really talking openly about my problems right now. My physical disablilities are really causing me to feel even worse about myself than my every day typical feeling. I'm always questioning whether or not I will ever be ok to do what every normal living being out there can do. It makes me so mad. My anger and frustration have hit a breaking point to just crying and being lost and stuck in my life now. I wish things were different and I could be like any other typical adolescent. I want help, but can't recieve enough of it. I feel that I can't talk to anyone about so many of my feelings, leading to the feeling of hopelssness as well as trapped. This makes me return back to the feelings and urges of suicide and running away from everything, but the main factor being my problems in life I am trying to face now. ~dance59326
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"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown "To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment"  Thich Nhat Hanh |
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#2
Jun 08, 2009, 09:55 PM
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(((((Dance))))))
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[SIGPIC[/SIGPIC]  Susan
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#3
Jun 09, 2009, 02:17 PM
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Dance are you in therapy?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#4
Jun 09, 2009, 08:07 PM
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Yes, I am in therapy
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown "To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment" Thich Nhat Hanh |
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#5
Jun 10, 2009, 01:36 AM
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I hope you are talkin gto your T about this -
 do you want to talk about whats troubling you? it might help - if not here - then to T or someone in real life - we are here to listen if you want to talk
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
 dance59326, Sannah
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#6
Jun 10, 2009, 06:09 PM
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Yes, I went to my therapy appointment. We talked about a chunk of a long 6-7 page paper that I wrote and she is very greatful of.
When I was leaving from her room, I left a copy of my first post to this thread on her desk. I wonder what she thought about it and if she found it at all, as well as if she now wants to keep this page in my file. I'm still feeling lost
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown "To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment" Thich Nhat Hanh |
| Sannah
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#7
Jun 11, 2009, 08:18 AM
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you did good - if you are lost i am too cos I am here with you ok - we are both lost together - maybe we can hold the darkness back together
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
| dance59326
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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