*sighs* Please reply. I'm in need of some support... *triggering*

Pupp, I'm not sure how many more times that I am going to let you slap me...................

erm, I'm not on about you, gosh, I'm on about some people who've just completely hurt me and left me.

Just don't post if you're not going to be helpful. I don't need this right now.

This is a perfect example of how members' read a generalization made with no specifics and can assume that the comment was made about them. For this reason, we have guidelines that we work within so that upset doesn't happen and the community as a whole does not suffer or feel singled out.

Because it is so easy for people to feel singled out by such a generalization, the guidelines state:

Pupp, you did really well explaining how you were feeling and why. I know you don't want people to assume things about you. We are not mindreaders and when members offer you support, even if it's not what you are looking for or needing, they are giving of themselves to you with the "intent" of being supportive in the best way they can.

I truly hope you can continue to explain what you are looking for and how you are feeling. The more you can do that, the less people will have to assume anything about you and hopefully, the less you will be frustrated with their responses

With respect
sabby

and here I would say they were letting you know that you are not alone -sometimes thats all a person in pain can do - reach out and let you know you are not alone - I know it helps me to know I am not alone - alone is a scary place for me to be.

I hope you are doing a bit better - take care

*hugs for pupp*

*hugs for sannah*

thank you sabby and P7 for your guidance and gentle reframing.

"on here" = computer.
Not just PC.

But to be honest I'd be lying if I say people on PC haven't hurt me and left me, so on here means both.
As PC is on the computer.

ok, pupp, but when you say something general like that, it is difficult not to assume it is directed at particular people. sannah and i were both replying to you at the time, so i will admit i was wondering if you meant to include me in that also. which is why i stopped replying, because you've made it very clear that you do not want replies from people you do not think are helpful.

i find it really nice when i try to offer support to other people and they tell me what i am doing that is helpful. it makes me want to help them more. i always try to thank people who have tried to support me, because i know they are doing it out of kindness. just a small acknowledgement that some people are doing things "right", or even if it isn't "right" that at least they are trying... i find it goes a long way in making ppl want to help me in the future.

Okay, well, don't post anymore.
I see this thread has taken it's roll.
I'm done on this thread.
But yeh, feel free to carry on posting though, I'm just not going to respond anymore.
I can't seem to do anything right.
I'm going through an extremely difficult time but yeah. Whatever huh?.

am i now going to be one of those people who "hurt" you and "left" you?

because i am still offering to stay and help. i just want to clarify whether you're the one asking me to leave.

Gosh quit it already!
I have been extremely hurt by people who call themselves my "friends" in the past, and they've left. Don't know why hurt and left are in "'s because it has happened.

I was simply saying I at least have someone in person who's more patient than some people on the computer. She's amazing to me. Unlike people both in person and on here. I was just sharing how amazing she is. What she's done, how she is. And saying that I do have someone in person who's like that. But tomorrow, I'm leaving school, and won't have her anymore! Great!

I'm so sick of people assuming so much about me and twisting things around, all I want right now is support!
I'm going through so ******* much right now and it's just one thing after another!
What exactly do I have to do to get support?
Actually, I can see I don't even deserve support, so forget it.
Yes, this is me saying forget it. See?

If I were looking for support, I think I'd start by sitting still long enough to let a would-be supporter or three catch up to me.
Would you prefer that we took you literally, or that we tried to talk you down from where you've gone with that?

Er, what?
.

Hi Pupp,

I am sorry you are losing someone who you see as a great support -

try not to keep pushing away the people who are trying to help you - I know its hard when you have your shields up and you are hurting - sometimes things can be misread and misinterpreted by both sides.

This is a very supportive place if you let it be - try to take a deep breath and think of what you can do to replace this person who is leaving - now I know they are irreplacable as an individual - but are there things you can do to help you get through this - go out with friends - or do somthing nice for you like ...whatever makes you happy - fo me its playing with my cats and walking in gardens ... I dont have a garden so I go for a walk and look at the flowers in other peoples gardens.

take care P7

I can't go out. This area is bad and I have anxiety, the both don't mix.

Anyway.
I pretty much am going down a bad, dark path right now and inside, I'm a mess.

I'll come back to this thread when I feel I'm able to.

Thanks.

no probs you do what you need to do to stay safe ok

there are things you can do indoors - I take a long shower or bath - read one of my old favourite books or watch a movie on tv or just sleep curled up under the covers

take care P7

I'm just lying down and watching TV for a bit at the moment.
I'm really frustrated and upset from something else now.
God, why can't I just have a break?

I'm so tired of this.

Good relaxing as much as you can is a good thing - hang in there things can and often get better - somtimes it takes a long time but it can be worth the wait -

I cycle through sadness - fear and despiar - I try to remind myslef that I can get through this that I have before and I can again - I hope you can find the strength you need from inside you - from the people around you and from us here at PC - takce care P7

Thanks......

Could you make that multiple choice?

If you do want to drop the subject, OK.

Otherwise, seriously (we Fools are quite good at being serious when we want to): I'd find it a lot easier to respond to your "What?" if you were willing to spell out what you'd heard and what you thought I might have meant. You sound real creative to me and there's no reason why you shouldn't interpret something I said in seven different ways, about five of which I hadn't actually intended. If you wanted to run some of those possibilities by me, we could have a conversation. Otherwise, it might be a bit difficult for us to stay on the same wavelength for long.

Hope you're feeling better, Pupp, whether we talk more or not.

I didn't get what you said so I said what?

The only thing I have to say here to everyone is :everybody hurts in some way , in different magnitudes and it presents differently. I'm sorry the poster who related to your pain was kind of shot down. I'm sorry anyone hurts, but its one of thse nasty facts of life.

I wasn't aware that no one could post their pain on "your" thread.

I AM CALISTA

Excuse me?
If people want to post for support and whatever, post a thread of their own.
Gosh.

Please understand normal social interaction....someone askes for support and maybe someone else gives it by giving an accounting of their own pain (it's called "relating") in addition to offering actual support.

I AM CALISTA

I am sorry

I didn't care for relating. No one knows how I feel. Not fully.