[lost_at_sea]

I've been living with this secret for a long time. When I get really, really angry or screw up somehow, I hit myself on the head as hard as I can. I usually use my fist and hit right above my ear several times in quick succession. The most recent event happened yesterday evening. I dropped a large container of sugar on the floor and it dumped half of the sugar out. Without a second's hesitation I flew into a rage and slammed my fist into my head about four or five times while I screamed, "You stupid ****ing *****!" I do not hit myself in front of other people. The only time I did was once a few years ago when I thought I had lost my wallet and I lost control in front of a friend of mine. I've mentioned this to my counselors but no one ever seems to think it warrents much attention and we usually move on pretty quickly after I bring it up. Now, I'm no fool. I'm pretty sure a 27 year old man hitting himself in the head is not normal behavior. I don't know if this is considered a self-injury type behavior or not. I'm not sure what it is. I was just wondering if anyone else had experienced the same kind of thing or knew of someone who had.

[Christina86]

It doesn't sound like normal behaviour... but are you doing the behaviour to punish yourself, to cause yourself pain? If you are, then it would be self-injurious behaviour and if your counsellors don't think it warrants attention, it might be because they don't have experience helping people who self-injure/harm themselves.

[thinker22]

I used to do that too..the whole smack myself in the face over and over for making a mistake, no matter how small or insignificant. To be honest, last time I did it was about 6 months ago, so at 29 I'm not completely over it either. Definitely means you're punishing yourself and highly self-critical. So much so that it's become practically an automatic response. Maybe bring it up in therapy and tell your therapist that you'd like to address the possible causes of it and how you can learn to stop it. Sometimes in therapy you need to be proactive or the session will just drift from topic to topic. It's really hard to stop the self-hatred, but it will be worth it if for no other reason than you'll be able to better love other people.