[Zenobia]

Death calls to me,
the calming dark dream,
light blinds one's eyes
darkness provides peace,
death gives one darkness,
frees one of the pain in this life.

Why should I embrace that light?
Why should I feel the pain of the brightness?
I wish to turn my back away from truth
to hold on to the peace that
the dream of death brings.

But somewhere in the light,
far in and too bright to see,
is the happiness that has been
promised to me.
But it is a fairy tale,
someone else's dream.
Death is mine, life in darkness.
Life in peace.

Should I believe what others say is true?
Trust in them as a way to pull through,
to wait until I reach that fabled place,
in the center of the light,
at happiness's gate?

What choice do I make?
Time will only tell.
If I choose light I will surely die,
as all things do.
If I choose death then I have just
taken the shortcut and saved myself
a load of grief.
But I am not the kind of person
who chooses the easy path.
I make all things more difficult then
they need to be.
Therefore I choose life,
in doing so I make my path to death
a torturous jaunt through pain and suffering.
But who knows I may be surprised and find,
that the fabled land of happiness does exist,
and I have been a horse's *** for not believing.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson

Not bad poetry Carrie - very truthful and spoken quite well.

I liked it.

Mary Alice

[Fuzzybear]

I like your pondering, Carrie

[heidu]

Ponder away sweetie!! I really liked this one.
Heidu

Every path to a new understanding begins in confusion- Mason Cooley

[Rapunzel]

I like this, Carrie. It just feels like it has a lot of truth in it. I imagine many of us being called toward the darkness and we think that we are alone, since the ones who are closer to the light don't notice us out here, but often it is those of us who are hanging on out at the edges near the darkness who can spot the ones who might be close to giving up and who offer a hand and keep someone from slipping away, inviting them to take a step closer to the light.

<font color=blue>Life is filled with tragedy; if you let it overwhelm you, you cannot enjoy life's innocent pleasures. -Robert Heinlein</font color=blue>

[kvinneakt]

This is a good, safe way to release dangerous thoughts. Go for it. Much better than acting out.

Do be careful with yourself. Sometimes I write or seek out this kind of material and think of it as suicide pornography. It is one of my red flags warning of the need to get help very soon.

[Zenobia]

I find that when I am at my worst I just jot things down like this. It is definitely a red flag. When I am feeling good it never occurs to me to write anything resembling a poem.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson