[JulieBean]

lately... life has been... overwhelming... i've been cutting farely frequently lately... i would approximate that theres probably about 100-150 cuts on my ankles, but i didnt bother to count... usually, if i tell a friend, they'll ask how many... and i usually don't know, so the last couple times i did just to save myself the trouble of saying, "uhh, i dunno..."

but really, i just thought id say something about it... but it doesn't really phase me as much of a problem... i don't have the ability of comparison, so i don't think of it as a big deal... its just something i do in my life... i don't see that there is any kind of 'magnitude' to what i've been going through... its just... what i go through... i may be miserable... but its no big deal. not to me at least. whatever.

"Sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..."
~Gustav Havel - existentialist

[Peanut61]

Hi ((((((((((((((((((((((((Julie)))))))))))))))))))))))))): I so wish I had something magical to say that would help, but, as I often do, I find that I don't have the right words... It's so difficult to feel as unhappy as you do right now; so painful. Things do get better though, but I wish it could get better for you sooner!! Hugs for you, Julie!!!!! Your friend, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT :-)</font color=blue>

Julie, I can't say "don't do it" because I understand WHY you're doing it. All I can say is, try not to do any bad cuts - before then, call someone, talk to one of us..........

It IS a big deal and it does matter. Let us know you are ok, please?

Mary Alice

[JulieBean]

im doing alright... better than before... for those of you who care to know its all in my livejournal....

http://www.livejournal.com/users/thisisme263

i don't know how i am going to do from this point on, but my eyes have been opened i think, i hope...

"Sometimes it takes us to the bottom of our misery to understand the truth..."
~Gustav Havel - existentialist

[Zenobia]

I used to think it was no big deal, just my life...actually I still think that way sometimes...but I have been working on getting a comparison. I read inspiring books about women who have lead incredible lives, or just simple everyday lives that seem incredible because they have found a way to deal with life without cutting, without self inflicted abuse. Reading these stories makes me think, "Hey I want that." Yeah, basically it is no big deal. It makes me feel better when I do it but I don't want to do it anymore because as long as I depend on SI as a relief I will not find better ways that will ultimately lead to a happier existance that doesn't need the type of drastic relief that cutting gives.
Carrie

<font color=green>Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.--Emily Dickenson