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#1
Oct 05, 2009, 12:41 AM
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Things aren't going ok. I'm having major problems with self-harm. I really want to do it. I have been doing it. Mom doesn't know. That's the point. Therapist says that if I tell her, she will help me and not necessarily tell my mom. Mom tends to overreact with just about anything. I hate it. I do not like my family life. I want to break away. I’m not sure what to do with myself. No one understands me. I'm struggling with my physical diagnosis right now. It's really weighing a huge toll on me. I'm not sure how I'm doing this, but for once in my life, I'm actually hungry. Eating disorder is getting to be a problem. I'm just plain lost. I hate my life and just want things to go better because I need ii. I'm just upset. ~dance59326
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown "To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment"  Thich Nhat Hanh |
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#2
Oct 05, 2009, 01:22 AM
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Dear Dance ~ Is you physical disorder your ED? If you are hungry, can you let yourself eat? I have learned to create a habit of eating by eating in front of the TV! I remember when I could see myself dying because I had not eaten in so long, and it was scary. I wish I could offer you some help with your self injury, but that's the part I don't really fully understand. I know it must be more complicated than just choosing physical pain over emotional pain. I have heard of T's advising SI patients to hold ice to themselves instead of cutting and taper off the habit that way. Does that make sense. I'm not sure if it is good advice or not, but it sounds like it might work. I Care about you and hope to offer you friendship and support, if not the most intelligent of advice ~ billieJ
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#3
Oct 05, 2009, 04:28 AM
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((((((((((((((((((((((((((Dance)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Im sorry you are feeling this way - please dont hurt yourself any more if you can - lie can really suck at times and it seems like this is one of those times for you now - cutting doesnt help - it distracts from the pain for a short time - leaves scars that make us feel guilty and sometimes ugly (does for me anyway) i have to organise a test soon adn they will see the scars on my leg - that is why im putting it off - dont give yourself any more marks to show your pain - i can see it - read the stickys at the top of the page on things to do instead of cutting imagine what your life will be like in a different time and place - thats why i used to read all the time - it helped me escape... until i could I am so sorry you are going through all this strife - if i could i would fix it for you but i cant - please talk to your T - ask for ideas on how to help you - because you deserve to be cared for not harmed - you deserve to be happy not upset and you deserve to be heard - and we hear you - keep talking - do things to keep your hands busy - take a shower or long bath....... please dont hurt yourself P7 
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts  its how many times you get back up!   (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture  )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
 dance59326
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#4
Oct 05, 2009, 12:35 PM
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Dance I am sorry that you are upset!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
| dance59326
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#5
Oct 05, 2009, 07:23 PM
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Quote:
No it's not my eating disorder. I'm having trouble with physical things. I'm currently being diagnosed for a questionable degenerative disorder. Apparently, according to one of my diagnostic surgeries, my muscles are shrinking and cannot build muscle easily (if any). Further testing has brought us to the conclusion that is an atrophy, dystrophy, or myopathy. I've been going through months of testing with inconclusive results, have been at physical therapy for almost a year and a half straight 2-3 times a week. I’m just totally losing it!!!! I’m struggling a lot, but don’t understand this major point: I have an abnormal extreme high pain tolerance, yet want to feel more Why??? Is it because then it would be self-induced??? Eating issues are up. Emotional eating is difficult to curb and control. I’m running out of different coping strategies, but have this workbook that I’m assigned from my counselor. I’m taking it serious and am trying to use it to help me. I guess that I’m just lost. ~dance59326
__________________
"Life is like photography, you use the negatives to develop"
"When the world says 'Give up,' Hope whispers 'Try it one more time'" ~ Unknown "To dwell in the here and the now does not mean you never think about the past or responsibility, plan for the future. The idea is simply not to allow yourself to get lost in regrets about past or worries about the past or worries about the future. If you are firmly in the present moment, the past can be an object of inquiry, the object of your mindfulness by looking into the past, but you are still grounded in the present moment" Thich Nhat Hanh |
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#6
Oct 05, 2009, 11:42 PM
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im sorry Dance
__________________
Its not how many times you fall down that counts its how many times you get back up! (Thanks to fenrir for my Picture )When you have come to the edge of all light that you know and are about to drop off into the darkness of the unknown, Faith is knowing One of two things will happen: There will be something solid to stand on or you will be taught to fly. by Patrick Overton, author and poet |
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#7
Oct 06, 2009, 09:35 AM
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Quote:
..........
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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