[vulnerome]

Haven't posted in an age - stuck in parents, exams, other boring stuff. Anyhow, hope you have been keeping well.

Whilst I was at home I was driven to near dementia by the need to cut. Once upon a time I'd have gone ahead, but lately there is no dealing with the results myself. My mother had exams, my father was back by lunchtime most days - there was no way I could risk it. Woke every day with one thought strong in my mind and fell asleep each night with the same thought. Ended up battering myself in front of them a few times out of.... meh... ya know the way it goes.

So now I am back in my own place and I'll be here for another fortnight before returning home. I was holding off until now, but no longer have the desire to. But I HAVE to do it now otherwise I'll be back home in a few weeks, with no other thought and I know I wouldn't be able to hold out again. This is my insurance policy.

Not sure what the point of this post was, but, meh.

I'm not sure that I know what to post to you. I'm glad that you didn't cut, while home. However, I feel for your conflicting feelings about cutting now or later.....I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. pat

[vulnerome]

Bleh.

Held off for a week or so. What a mess - inadvertently went way too far. Ended up in A&E, went into shock, collapsed & spent the night on a ventilator.

5 days later and still weak, heart still going bonkers. Everything smells of blood "all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand". Lost about 4 pints, which is more than one is supposed to be able to lose.



So so stupid - have been at this long enough not to go too deep. How the hell did it happen?

On the positive side, the whole revolting affair has left me with an aversion to blood, pain, injury etc - so God willing I'll be safe now.

Think now would be a good time to get proper help.

[silver_queen]

((((((((((((((( vuln ))))))))))))))))

oh wow that sounds so scary! I'm glad you're safe now and that you made it through. It's good to see you again.

(((((((((Vulnerome)))))))))

[Rapunzel]

((((((((((((Vulnerome)))))))))))))))

That is really scary!!! I'm glad that you made it. Yes, it sounds like time for some help. Please take care of yourself.

Love,
Rap

[dogtanian]

(((((vuln)))))

poor you, that's scary. what a nasty experience but i suppose it prompting getting help and an aversion to injury for a while is a positive thing - good luck xxx