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#26
Mar 19, 2010, 01:18 PM
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Your welcome. I think about them all the time. Thank I know I am I just feel like a bad mom cause I don't do all the things I used to do.
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#27
Mar 19, 2010, 01:22 PM
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you gotta know that funks will elleviate. things will get better, eventually. just hold out some hope and youll be surprised at how it will manifest itself
__________________
MCLEAN HOSPITAL ALUMN!! www.mylifeintreatment.com there is a LOT of personal information on there from my current hospitalization and it may not be for everyone, but it's a good read! please PM me anytime, day or night... i am always awake and wanting to talk!! We'd never know what's wrong without the pain Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same |
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#28
Mar 19, 2010, 01:58 PM
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Next time is therapy.
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#29
Mar 19, 2010, 01:59 PM
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I hope they will get better.
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#30
Mar 19, 2010, 09:42 PM
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Dont make it harder on yourself by thinking how bad you are and what you dont do. Try to think and remind yourself of the good things you do and how despite your struggle you do your best to look after them and be there for them. This would have been hard on anybody. Hugs xxxxx
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#31
Mar 20, 2010, 03:57 PM
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Thank you. I try to think of the good things. I guess that's what is keeping me going. Hugs!
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#32
Mar 20, 2010, 04:24 PM
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Thats good Angie. Hugs back xxxx
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#33
Mar 20, 2010, 04:32 PM
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Hey Angie, glad you went to get meds. As far as the kids go, they usually act out what they hear daddy doing to mommy. I would bring up the DV to your T at your next session. You all deserve better. Take it easy.
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#34
Mar 20, 2010, 08:10 PM
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Thank you. I'm glad to be on them too but they got me feeling grogy. And I'm gonna talk to the about that too.
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#35
Mar 20, 2010, 08:13 PM
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I'm not doing to good today. I found a new place to cut where no one would notice. The kids were fighting I was having a panic attack and they wouldn't listen so I went in the bathroom and did it. I'm so sorry everyone but I feel like I'm failing in everything. I don't know how much longer this can go on.
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#36
Mar 20, 2010, 08:35 PM
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Angie, you dont need to apologise for anything to anybody.
You did not fail anyone. Panic attacks are so difficult to handle. The kids know how you feel? how old are they? can you sit them down and explain a bit without scaring them? I hug you dear. xxxx |
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#37
Mar 21, 2010, 11:15 AM
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Thank you. Yea they know how I feel and I try to tell them that by them not listening it causes me stress and in turn a panic attack. They say they don't want me to have one but yet they keep on and on fighting. They have seen me have the worst one I had and they freaked out. I just don't know what other ways to explain it to them than how I already have. They are 6 & 8. So they still don't really understand I guess. Thank you hugs
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#38
Mar 21, 2010, 11:23 AM
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((((((((( angie2716 )))))))))
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#39
Mar 21, 2010, 11:32 AM
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Angie - honey. Thats hard. I dont know enough about your situation with your partner...
6 and 8 - dont think they can fully understand. do you have a family member that can come and help you look after them? hugs Angie. Hang in there xxxx |
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#40
Mar 21, 2010, 12:12 PM
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I have no one. Everyone I know works all the time. And they don't ever come over because of how my husband acts. And about my husband, he just thinks my depression and panic attacks is just all a big joke. So I have no emotional support from him at all. All I have is yall. And thank you hugs to you too. I'm hanging in there as best as I can.
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#41
Mar 21, 2010, 10:34 PM
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Quote:
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#42
Mar 22, 2010, 12:46 AM
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Thank you! And same goes for you. Hugs!
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#43
Mar 22, 2010, 01:24 AM
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I'm having another bad night! I was able to go to sleep but wouldn't you know I was woke up by yet another panic attack. I'm taking my new med and I know they aren't going to work right away but I'm just having a hard time! I'm wanting to cut so bad. But I'm trying my best not to go do it. And I can't call the crisis hotline cause my husband is constantly up and down seeing what I'm doing. Ugh! I'm ready for this to be over!
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#44
Mar 22, 2010, 09:49 AM
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hold on hun, im so sorry. do you know what is triggering these panic attacks? please find a way to get help hun, your husband needs to understand and if he doesn't is it possible for you to gt out of there for a few days maybe just so you can get better? i really hope your situation gets better hun 
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#45
Mar 22, 2010, 10:24 AM
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I know you are doing the best you can.
It sounds to me like you have to get physically away from your husband. I think as long as you are around him you will not get better. He contributed (if not makes) to your illness and unhappiness. You need to leave, even for a while, to somewhere safe and have no contact with him. I am sorry he is making a joke out of it. Its far from being a joke. As long as he behaves like this the kids would find it increasingly hard to cope and you will find it almost impossible to be the good mom you want to be and control the situation. You cannot change him, so please - phone a friend, even someone you dont know very well but can trust, or a family member, or a woman and child shelter and go. You need to be away from him. You are not strong enough to cope with all this on your own. Please take care honey xxxxx |
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#46
Mar 22, 2010, 12:46 PM
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Thank you. I have no idea what is triggering them. I can't get away from him without him throwing a fit and he doesn't understand what all I'm going through and he gives me no support. Thank you and I hope it does too. And the girl that works up at my step-dads restaurant got to me today. She is causing so much drama. And my step-dad just had surgery so he is at home. So I'm up here for him. But he is fixin to fire her. There's a lot more to the store but he can't have her up here causing trouble for everyone.
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#47
Mar 22, 2010, 12:53 PM
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Thank you. I don't have anyone. All I have is yall. And he would find me no matter what and then I would have to deal with the consequences. I know I need to get away from him. I'm just so scared to be alone right now. And yes I agree on the kids not being able to cope. My son is already showing signs like I did when I was little of anxiety towards certain things. And I know he is my main problem. But I've always had anxiety issues and he has brought the worst out in me. And I'm getting to where I can't handle anything. Its taking all the will and energy I have not go cut.
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#48
Mar 22, 2010, 01:40 PM
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hun you are strong for dealing with this, but if you are afraid you really should leave. you can always file for a restraining order. you don't have to just put up with this,you can get past him.
all the best hun (((((((((((((((((((((angie)))))))))))))))))))
__________________
I wanna heal, I wanna feel Like Im close to something real I wanna find something ive wanted all along Somewhere I belong? he who does not feel me is not real to me Therefore he doesn't exist So poof...vamoose you sob What's wrong with the world, mama People livin' like they ain't got no mamas I think the whole world addicted to the drama Only attracted to things that'll bring you trauma And to discriminate only generates hate And when you hate then you're bound to get irate, can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? i can really use a wish right now. i'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let you know that, you're not alone Holla if you feel that you've been down the same road I'mma be what I set out to be, without a doubt undoubtedly And all those who look down on me I'm tearing down your balcony |
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#49
Mar 22, 2010, 02:36 PM
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Thank you. I just feel like I'm not. I plan on calling DV when I get a chance and thank to them. Or I might just go down there. I'm having to fill in for my step dad since he had surgery so I don't know when I will have time.
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#50
Mar 22, 2010, 04:55 PM
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This day is just going all wrong! Ok firdt I fell earlier and hurt my knee, then the stuff with the girl that works for my step-dad, then some stuff broke down up here, then me and my husband got into it over the phone because I left the gate open and lost the water bill so the water got cut off. Nothing is going right at all. Oh the kids were late to school and I was late getting up here. I'm really losing it. I went in the bathroom and cut again. Why is this happening to me? What did I ever do wrong to deserve all of these things going on. I can't stop shaking and I'm panicking all the time. Its all getting worse!
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