[Cbminor]

When I was a little kid my dad often yelled at when I did something wrong. I hated it when he yelled, I would much rather have taken corpal punishment. As a result, I used to beat myself up, and I developed a hate of myself. However, after I went through puberty, I somewhat started to realize things from a different perspective, and simply fought my dad, without hurting myself. And I also do not hate myself anymore, however, I am a bit uncofortable with my mind and the way it works. Furthermore, I still however enjoy causing pain to mysself from the outside, this does not mean that I hurt myself a lot, and I do not anymore, but I am rather interested, why do I partialy enjoy pain. Could it be influanced from my early martial arts training when pain had to be handled, but why do I enjoy it. Also, I enjoy causing physical pain to others, I never, beat anybody up, or bulleyed in any way. Infact I do not cause physical pain to others, but if I imagine for example, I somewhat enjoy it. I am glad to be under control right now, but am curious, is that slight joy for pain, simply as our animal instinct, or is it different.

[Miss_A]

Sounds a bit different for some to like pain maybe you like it in a safe way but hurting others and yourself is not the answer. Kick boxing is fun way self defence also but you need to control anger if you easily lose your temper. Just get a punch bag and punching gloves and punch away all your fears and pain if you must. Please don't get too much pain can be so hard to handle. Think of bliss instead of pain....