may trigger done

I give up I cut today after a month of not doing it I feel like a failure Did not cut bad but I give up on ever stopping cutting do not do it offten i JUST wished I had the courage to just end it all by cutting deep and bleeding out because i do not see and end to cutting but being dead and gone would end the misery of cutting

loser37, not cutting for a month is BIG. Congratulations.

things happen. we slip up from time to time. it's ok... because we can keep fighting. no need to give up. i hope you can stay strong and be as safe as you can, but realize that going a month without is a great accomplishment! you did that, and it can happen again. i understand how it is frustrating... i hope you are ok.

Not cutting for a month is awesome
Its really hard to stop, especially for that long.
Don't give up on ever stopping! You can stop! I know what I say doesn't mean much right now. But I want you to try to listen carefully anyway.
You say you wish you had the courage to "end it all". Stopping for a month proves you have courage. Courage to keep living. I know the feeling of choosing between cutting or suicide. Its a really scary place mentally and its hard to get out of. But you can get out of it and feel better. I've felt that more times than I want to remember but I'm alot better now. I haven't cut in 6 months and I rarely think about hurting myself anymore. If I can do it you can.

It took alot of times of cutting again and trying to stop again before I even got to not cutting for a month. It happens. I promise it gets easier.

I want you to PM me whenever you want to hurt yourself. Obviously you don't have to if you don't want to, but I want you to atleast try talking about the urges to hurt yourself or why you want to hurt yourself before you do. If you're not comfortable with that its ok. Just know
I'm here if you need to talk

L are you in therapy?

It's hard to stop something when the cause of the pain isn't controlled. There has to be a reason why you are needing to feel the relief that the cutting gives you.....when you are able to work through those reasons, then your month will turn into years which will turn into forever.

It's important to have a therapist that will help you work with the reasons for your feeling the need to cut. They hopefully you will also find the feeling of purpose for your life which also helps make a difference. When our life comes together & we have are better able to see life clearly, the pain can be put into the proper perspective & your cutting will become a thing of the past.....but we have to work through the issues...there is no easy way around that in order to be free from the bondages that keep us tied to the things that we feel give us the relief we need to feel.

Wishing you better days,
eskielover (Debbie)

Iam in group therapy for depression

Is it helpful?

no because people there do not understand cutting and i have borderline too

So you have talked about the cutting with them?

yes they try to help me the best they can

Do they understand why you SI?

a little i think

What could they do for you that would be more helpful?

i really do not know

Do you understand why you SI?

I si because i feel empty and worthless and i feel like i need to be punished for being who I am But I did not start until i was 34 iam 38 now I can go without do it then i fail again Can sometimes go months without doing it

Can you explain why you feel this way?

Are you dealing with these issues in therapy?

trying too

So you haven't brought them up enough yet to see if you can get some good help in therapy for these issues?

[quote=Sannah;1370761]So you haven't brought them up enough yet to see if you can get some good help in therapy for these issues?[/quote
yes you are right but i will bring the issues up on fri

Yah!!! Keep me posted?