still fall out from my SI

forgot that i have a doc appt on monday. the bottom of my feet suffered the rath of my SI.i knew i could hide that from my T but i am diabetic and my NP always checks my feet for problems.now on top of everything else i have to cancel my appy with hergod i just feel like crap.a smoldering volcano again

Why do you have to cancel your appt with her, is it the same time as your doc appt or something?

no im not seeing my T anymore but i just dont want my NP to see my feet thats all i dont know what she would do.i really think it best to avoid it

Because you are diabetic, you know you should have wounds checked. I know it will be hard, but can you push yourself to go to the appointment anyway and explain what happened so that you can bu sure you are okay?

im not so sure that would go over to well i know they will be fine i just dont need anyone knowing at this point i am over the urge to do it again and dont want to invite more problems into my life over it i did rescedual for next month

Well, truthfully... You don't know that you'll be okay. You think so, but it can happen anyway. I don't need to tell you about diabetic sensitivity, esp. the feet. I think you should go. I know the whole point was to not let anyone know! You need to go. You did it, it's done, and you need to keep your appointment. This is important! I'm not trying to be mean, promise

hi first i want to say thanks for everyones concernthis site is amazing and so are everyone in it.my feet really are ok the wounds are not that deep and are already healing.i do promice if i see any sighns of infection ill def go untill then i did rescedual my check up apt for the 15th of next month and i intend to keep that apt.
im so glad to see that nobody here has the omg what are you doing attitude.you really do seem to understand.it is just someething i did and go on.my big thing is im just angry because i havnt done this in so long i forgot a lot of everything else that goes with SI.the guilt,shame,hiding it,the obsessiveness of it,etc..those whole 3 days of my life just took me on one heck of an emotional ride and i just seemed to go on auto pilot and SI.and it helped at the time.now im left with dealing with the mess.i am really affraid if my NP or T know about it they would want to lock me up or something for something that wasnt all that bad and it would ruin what i have left as a life

I was being kind of hypocritical because THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH is that I hide things from my T also... She has asked me many times if I have "thoughts" and I always say no and make it seem like it's a light deal... Maybe I was being like that to you because I was kind of yelling at myself lol. I know what it's like man, to feel like you can't say because you don't want to go to the ward! I've never been and I intend to never go, but there have been times I felt like I should admit myself because I'm so out of control. Have you ever gone there? I just feel like if I went I'd be in there with someone who is really messed up, like someone who wants to touch my feet and my hair and stuff. I know not everyone who goes is like that, but I know some are and it scares me to death! You?