past?

this is my first post in the SI section, i only just discovered this site. i used to SI when i was younger, scratches or biting myself, then i started cutting when things got weird and worse. ive managed to stop myself for about 2 months now, last time i think i really freaked out my friend.. i got a lil drunk and put myself into my mind set that makes me SI. anyway, just after i stopped it was all i thought about, then nothing. it was a sort of bliss, then 2 weeks ago i got a girlfriend and my thoughts are coming back, because im hearing all my other friends troubles. its like when im unhappy the world functions properly and people are happy and when i become happy/happier everything else seems to slip into chaos. which pulls me back out of my state of better life. this is happening again, i don't want to hurt my gf and i don't want to SI again but i do, and this has happened to many times before. i wanted to keep my record of 2 months and keep it going forever. can anyone relate? at all, id like to now if its just me.

tango first let me say Welcome to the forums here at PC....you will find support and encouragement here and no judging....I SI too and I have stopped for a short time and slipped and got going again....UGH....I hate that I did but that is just where I am right now... Do you have a Therapist you can talk to about this? if not keep posting and venting here we will listen...maybe someone else can shed more light on this for ya...
take care