[Hope4me2]

TRIGGER TRIGGER PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY DETAILS..........................................................


I know Rap told us in another post that if the cut is deep enough and lays open and shows fat that you should seek medical help...but HOW can you do that? I feel so ashamed and embarrassed and so guilty that I cannot face people with what I have done..I did it the other day and it is exactly how I described...I did not tell anyone I have only bandaged it and put neosporin on it....but it is still painful and bleeds off and one still......I hate this so d*m much....I hate that I cannot stop this....but seeking medical help really scares me even more..how do you tell them what you did?????..afraid they will put me in the hospital or call the police and just look at me like I am crazy and I already feel that way....UGH hate myself so much right now....and feeling so ashamed

[vanna123]

When i have cut myself in the past (Which my primary doctor knows I do) I just call him first and he calls ahead to the ER to explain I am coming in to get stiched up.
This helps that I don't need to worry about getting locked in the psych ward and that they are already aware when I get there so I do not need to say to much.
When I use my primary later next week to have stitches removed he is very understanding and is happy that I can trust him. (about the cutting at least)

[Hope4me2]

can anyone else tell me how they handle it when they SI? I mean dealing with doctors if you need stitches...

[Hope4me2]

feeling ALONE here.............hmmmm no replies here.....seems I cant get anyone else to talk to me about this...feel so D*M ALONE.....UGH

[Rapunzel]

I've actually never gone for medical help after SIing, so was hoping that someone who has would reply. Sorry, Hope.

Wendy

[ErinBear]

Hi Hope,

Can you ask your T about what to do? Can he talk to the hospital, or your doctor, if you need to go, and provide some support? I have only gone to the hospital once in connection with SI, and I'm afraid it didn't go well. That's why I didn't respond. The one time I went, my T sent me to the hospital with one small (1/4 inch) cut on a suicide hold - he misunderstood what SI was about. I wasn't suicidal. It was a big mess. So if you go, I think it would be good to have your T talk to the doctor and provide some information, if your T knows you do SI, to prevent any problems with a possible suicide hold. Some doctors may be aware of SI, but some aren't. Either way, if you go to the ER, they may be uncomfortable with SI....that was my experience....and you may just have to bear with it if the doctors aren't familiar with SI and aren't very understanding. Sorry I don't have anything better to add! I really recommend getting your T's support if you decide you need medical attention.

Take care,
ErinBear

[CompGeek]

Please don't be afraid of what the ER doctors are going to think. Just like your therapist they will not judge you. They are only there to help you.

[Renwolf]

I've only gone to the ER once for stitches. It wasn't a great experience, but I don't want to dissuade anyone else from getting medical attention if they need it. I probably didn't need it. I just figured that a few stitches would lessen the scarring. Afterwards, I felt pretty stupid for being so vain. I spent 10 hours in the ER and came very close to ending up in a 36 hour inpatient for observation kind of situation because the doctors didn't believe that I wasn't suicidal. It was scary and frustrating. That said, if I had a cut that was still bleeding days later, I'd bite the bullet and get it checked out.

The one thing I should have done differently was to call my therapist before going just to let her know that everything was under control, that I'd had a relapse, but I wasn't a danger to myself, etc.

When I got to the ER, they insisted on calling my psychiatrist instead of my therapist even though I told them that I only see my psychiatrist for 15 minutes every couple of months. I see my therapist every week for an hour so she's much more aware of what's going on with me. Also, take a friend or family member if you can. I have trouble speaking up for myself, so I really needed someone who could help to explain the situation. I was too scared and stressed to get my thoughts together enough to try to explain how self injury is different from a suicide attempt.

Also, it might be a good idea to print out the Bill of Rights for Self Injurers ( http://www.selfinjury.org/docs/brights.html ) and take that with you.

Good luck. I hope that you get the medical treatment that it seems like you need.

[Hope4me2]

Thanks everyone for your replies... I was beginning to think no one was listening to me or seeing my post or you know exnoring me....but it felt good to have some replies to read and kind words to hear...
I have not talked to my T about this last time.... I did tell him I was struggling with some home issues and he asked if I felt like harming myself over it and I told him it depends on what you call harming...he asked if I had been SIing and I told him yes but not how bad it was.... I think the one should have gotten stitched but to late now....it just will leave a terrible scar...my MD doctor knows I SI and he has been understanding...but I am just so fearful of how the ER will handle it and I am so scared of being locked up because of it...
Renwolf.....thanks for the site and I printed out the bill of rights...did not know there was such a thing...nice to know and have and thanks a bunch for sharing it with me...
thanks again everyone... I just hate being like this so much...UGH

[dragonskin]

I've never gone for cutting and I am also scared to go like you. But I have gone to other people for help- and I know if it's bad enough I should go- and my room mate will most likely make me. :P